第5552回 EN new year's my family's incident

このエピソードは思考整理のための独り語りです。メンタルヘルスや発達特性を背景に、日常の悩 みや感情をそのまま話しています。聞き流しても問題ありません。

 This episode is a personal audio journal on daily struggles, mental health, andneurodiversity. It is meant to be listened to casually in the background.

このポッドキャストは、生きづらさ・メンタルヘルス・家庭問題を中心に、 日常で起きる出来事や思考を、感情を煽らず淡々と語る雑談ポッドキャストです。親子関係の衝突、家庭内トラブル、機能不全家族。 「普通」や「当たり前」とされる家族像や会話が成立しない現実を扱います。 発達障害（ASD / ADHD）、うつ病、双極性障害、不安障害、社会不安、幸福恐怖、強迫性障害（OCD）。 個人の特性と、家庭・社会環境が噛み合わないことで生じる問題を取り上げます。 宗教二世として育った経験から、 オカルトやスピリチュアルを信じて自分を誤魔化しながら生きることができない感覚についても語ります。 物事を都合よく解釈して安心することができず、 現実をそのまま見てしまうことによる生きづらさを扱います。 長期間の引きこもり、無職、就職活動の失敗、働けない現実。社会復帰の難しさや、将来への不安を、理想論ではなく事実として話します。 難病である潰瘍性大腸炎の可能性を抱えながら、 引きこもり状態のため十分な治療に繋がれない状況と、体調不安が日常生活に与える影響についても触れます。 人間関係のトラウマや、 新たなトラウマを作らないために距離を取るという選択。 人と関わる必要性を理解しつつも、発達障害が理解されにくい現実の中での葛藤を語ります。 哲学やニヒリズムを背景に、 存在の意味を求めるのではなく、 世の中を都合よく解釈する考え方そのものへの違和感や、人の思考の矛盾、浅はかさをスピリチュアルに逃げず考察します。 前向きさや希望を押し付ける番組ではありません。 答えを出すこともしません。 メンタルヘルス、発達障害、家庭問題、生きづらさを抱える人に向けた、静かで重めのトーク番組です。

This podcast focuses on mental health, neurodiversity, and family issues, discussed calmly and without emotional exaggeration. It covers parent-child conflict, dysfunctionalfamilies, and situations where so-called “normal” family dynamics do not work.Topics include ASD / ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders,social anxiety, fear of happiness, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),exploring how personal traits clash with family and social environments.Growing up in a religious household, I talk about the inability to rely on occult or spiritual beliefs to comfort or deceive myself, and the difficulty of facing reality without convenient explanations. The podcast addresses long-term social withdrawal, unemployment, failed job searches, and the realistic difficulty of returning to society. I also discuss the possibility of living with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness, while being unable to access proper treatment due to isolation, and how physical uncertainty affects daily life.Human relationships and trauma, choosing distance to avoid creating new wounds, and the struggle of living in a society where neurodiversity is rarely understood are recurring themes. Rather than seeking meaning, this podcastexamines how people conveniently interpret reality, the contradictions in human thinking, and social absurdities — without spiritual escape or comforting narratives. No self-help. No optimism. No answers. A quiet, heavy podcast forthose dealing with mental health issues, neurodiversity, family conflict, and the difficulty of living in reality as it is.

サマリー

新年を迎えたが、彼は英語学習に対する自信を失い、家族の年末の大掃除について思いを馳せています。新年の初売りに関する家族のエピソードでは、特に福袋や割引についての会話が繰り広げられています。家族のルールに従い、彼は電話をかけ間違えた出来事を通じて、年末の食事や寒さに関する話をしています。また、家族の新年の出来事を通じて、料理や地域の特産品にまつわるエピソードが語られています。

英語学習と自信の喪失

life is hard, you have it hard, that too, mental disability, it's not just that, a conclusion, no conclusions

hello, welcome to my podcast, thanks for tuning in, this is a podcast where i talk homily, autorect struggles, and family issues

today is new year, but it's tough, cause my english is bad now, i lost my confidence, i'm not sure why i'm learning english

alright, first corner, today's incident

before that, today i'm gonna talk about learning english and family incident and diet and etc

firstly, i tried to change my way of learning english, i realized i waste a lot of time, but however i found a good podcast program

so i have been listening this podcast, but i got bad luck, i found a good one, but it happened on me

when i became good luck, but that moment, it's broken, i don't know why, eventually i end up changing my way of learning english

so i search some app to learn english, and i search it by using chatgbt

and i was listening some podcast program, then i lost my confidence, because there are better pronunciation and smoothly they talk than my english

and in the afternoon, i search pronunciation app and i search acceptable chatgbt too, but i failed, all of them were broken

next, my family is cleaning in the end of the year, so there is a lot of thing i think i should think about it

新年の特売

after cleaning something, they touch force, so for few days, i should clean the force than usual

next, it was terrible, today it happened, reflect, there was a lot of reflect in post

so i ask something to her, i asked her, there was a lot of discount today new year, so a lot of discount, she said, i don't know

so i mentioned, why don't you see, why did not you see, so she remarked, not really a lot of discount

then i was thinking and i remarked, do you know kind of price, so you want to think this

she said, no, different

this shop might have a lot of discount, because today is new year

i wrong, she remarked, no, it's correct, this store might have a lot of discount

soon later, she said, especially, it doesn't particularly increase, it's different from she said now, just now

and later, she also said, Fukubukuro, it has a lot of stuff, Fukubukuro, it's shop next door

but, soon later, she said, this store also have, there is Fukubukuro, this store as well, it's different from she said

and she also said, this store want to sell Fukubukuro, so they have this relief

what later, she said, they gonna sell similar stuff, so they have relief, relief as usual, because it's new year

and eventually, she said, they don't sell discount product, but later, she said, i don't know, because i didn't look at this

next, just now, i remember, suddenly, she said, when he was watching TV, she said, my age is same from this person, same age as this person

and on her road, on her own, on her own, she was angry, obviously, i didn't understand

move on to next topic, we talked about, we were talking about lunch

recently, i have been eating the soy milk, soy beans, and i asked her, she put salt in soy beans recently

she said, there is no way, i put in it, but suddenly, she remarked, i put in it, it's different from she said

and i mentioned this thing, then she said nothing, she was thinking on, and eventually, she said, i couldn't get my voice well, i couldn't get my voice well

by chance, no way, next

家族の電話のルール

yesterday, it happened, end of the year, yesterday is end of the year, so, different from usual

when i was eating lunch, i should focus on dinner, when i was eating dinner, but she, she was calling, she was making a phone, and she made a mistake

she called my mother, she called YOKAN, it's my family's rule, when she wanna go to bathroom, she call her, she make a call her

but, yesterday, it's different, she made a mistake, but it's on my mind, i didn't focus on

next, yesterday, it's getting cold, too much, suddenly, it's getting cold, so, i was not sure, i should turn on or not

eventually, i end up turning on, next, move on to next topic, i'm negative, so, i am the negative one, so, i always regret something

that kind of information, i end up hearing that kind of information, so, more and more, i end up thinking, if i was, if i did, this negative characteristic is reason

next, recently, i bought new microwave, but we could more cheap one, but she made a mistake

then, she said, after we bought, she said, we shouldn't put toaster in the microwave, but today, if we don't use function oven, we can do it

it's different from she said, it was terrible

next corner is HIKIMESHI, yesterday, was end of the year, so, we said, i had UMANI, it was Hokkaido, local food

taste is different, flavor and taste changes, depending on region, it's sweet taste in Hokkaido

and, egg, dashimaki tamago, and, there was duck, smoked duck, and, ebi chili, it's use, it's was, it's shrimp

spicy sauce, she succeed, it was good taste

and, today's morning, i had, for the breakfast, i had KURIKINTON

and, KURIKINTON, this dish use chestnut, and it's very sweet, it's dish, it's not sweet, but, thank you for watching, please follow this program, see you again