第5549回 Daily Home Conflicts end of the year

このエピソードは思考整理のための独り語りです。メンタルヘルスや発達特性を背景に、日常の悩 みや感情をそのまま話しています。聞き流しても問題ありません。

 This episode is a personal audio journal on daily struggles, mental health, andneurodiversity. It is meant to be listened to casually in the background.

このポッドキャストは、生きづらさ・メンタルヘルス・家庭問題を中心に、 日常で起きる出来事や思考を、感情を煽らず淡々と語る雑談ポッドキャストです。親子関係の衝突、家庭内トラブル、機能不全家族。 「普通」や「当たり前」とされる家族像や会話が成立しない現実を扱います。 発達障害（ASD / ADHD）、うつ病、双極性障害、不安障害、社会不安、幸福恐怖、強迫性障害（OCD）。 個人の特性と、家庭・社会環境が噛み合わないことで生じる問題を取り上げます。 宗教二世として育った経験から、 オカルトやスピリチュアルを信じて自分を誤魔化しながら生きることができない感覚についても語ります。 物事を都合よく解釈して安心することができず、 現実をそのまま見てしまうことによる生きづらさを扱います。 長期間の引きこもり、無職、就職活動の失敗、働けない現実。社会復帰の難しさや、将来への不安を、理想論ではなく事実として話します。 難病である潰瘍性大腸炎の可能性を抱えながら、 引きこもり状態のため十分な治療に繋がれない状況と、体調不安が日常生活に与える影響についても触れます。 人間関係のトラウマや、 新たなトラウマを作らないために距離を取るという選択。 人と関わる必要性を理解しつつも、発達障害が理解されにくい現実の中での葛藤を語ります。 哲学やニヒリズムを背景に、 存在の意味を求めるのではなく、 世の中を都合よく解釈する考え方そのものへの違和感や、人の思考の矛盾、浅はかさをスピリチュアルに逃げず考察します。 前向きさや希望を押し付ける番組ではありません。 答えを出すこともしません。 メンタルヘルス、発達障害、家庭問題、生きづらさを抱える人に向けた、静かで重めのトーク番組です。

This podcast focuses on mental health, neurodiversity, and family issues, discussed calmly and without emotional exaggeration. It covers parent-child conflict, dysfunctionalfamilies, and situations where so-called “normal” family dynamics do not work.Topics include ASD / ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders,social anxiety, fear of happiness, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),exploring how personal traits clash with family and social environments.Growing up in a religious household, I talk about the inability to rely on occult or spiritual beliefs to comfort or deceive myself, and the difficulty of facing reality without convenient explanations. The podcast addresses long-term social withdrawal, unemployment, failed job searches, and the realistic difficulty of returning to society. I also discuss the possibility of living with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness, while being unable to access proper treatment due to isolation, and how physical uncertainty affects daily life.Human relationships and trauma, choosing distance to avoid creating new wounds, and the struggle of living in a society where neurodiversity is rarely understood are recurring themes. Rather than seeking meaning, this podcastexamines how people conveniently interpret reality, the contradictions in human thinking, and social absurdities — without spiritual escape or comforting narratives. No self-help. No optimism. No answers. A quiet, heavy podcast forthose dealing with mental health issues, neurodiversity, family conflict, and the difficulty of living in reality as it is.

サマリー

家族の日常的な葛藤や年末の食文化について話されています。年末特有の家庭内の葛藤や夢の中の感情が描写されています。このエピソードでは、学習に関する個人的な悩みや専門家の意見への疑問が語られています。また、年末の特別な食事としてHIKIMESHIについて触れながら、食文化や個人的な思索が考察されています。

家族との葛藤

Life is hard, yeah, it happens. Family, yeah, that too.

A developmental disability, it's not just that. Conclusion? No conclusions.

Hello, welcome to my podcast. Thanks for tuning in. This is a podcast where I talk a camera about life struggles and family issues.

First corner, today's incident. Tomarukoshi went to Sapporo the day before yesterday, and she told Yōkan that

he told her that yesterday I went to Sushi Go Around, and she said, this sushi restaurant is like, ah, this Sushi Go Around is like a sushi restaurant.

In other words, it's similar to a real sushi restaurant. That's, in this moment, I thought, Toriton, it's more, maybe it's more good taste, go, go, Sushi Go Around.

And she said, firstly, she said, some person, some person grip sushi like real sushi restaurant. I mentioned, it's too different.

It's just put fish on rice. Real sushi restaurant, between real sushi restaurant and Sushi Go Around, it's real, real, really don't same, really isn't same. They really aren't same.

And I have a lesson that this Sushi Go Around, it's doing specific thing. They are doing something different.

So I think, I thought, he probably, compared to very cheap Sushi Go Around, it's doing everything, it's, it's doing everything by machine.

In other words, I thought, it's obvious, obviously, he felt it's good taste, but compared to other Sushi Go Around, almost same thing, almost same quality and same taste.

I know, the sushi restaurant, it's more good quality fish. Eventually, it's terrible, she said.

He might told me that, not grip sushi, it's similar to sushi restaurant. No way, I can't understand his head, his thinking, her thinking, her head, her thinking.

年末の食文化

Next, it's also today happened. As I said previous episode, she served sukiyaki for dinner, for dinner, the reason is because she got tired of sukiyaki.

She said, maybe you tired, you get tired of sukiyaki. It was two days in a row.

So, my family had sukiyaki end of the year, but yesterday, it wasn't. But usually, it's sukiyaki, we had sukiyaki end of the year.

Getting tired of it, so, she didn't make it, order is different. She should think end of the year, next, it also happened today, in the morning, happened, it happened.

Eventually, yesterday, I had beef, shigureni, it's Japanese food, I asked her, where, where part, I asked her, which part of beef is this.

She said, it wasn't written, it don't say nothing, it didn't say nothing.

What she said was, where this beef from, but I asked her, I asked her, which part.

Obviously, I asked her, which part of this beef is, this beef, beef seeds.

Next, when I, in the bathroom, I found bleeding, but, but, I don't know why.

Before, because of bad sitting posture, so, getting cut and bleeding, but recently, it isn't, but recently, good sitting posture, so, I don't know why, so, I'm scared.

I'm scared. I, I end up fantasizing, if it, if it don't heal, like this. Next, when I was sleeping, I watched a dream,

when I was believer, at the religion, there was a person, who take care of me, I appreciate so, too much to him, in the dream, I met, I met him by chance, sometimes, and even,

at the last, in the dream, at the last, I said, I forgot, but, I appreciate and, blah, blah, blah. Next, in the dream, I moved on, too much. Next,

It's a little bit philosophy. Yesterday, a bit, a bit, I was thinking, people judge, just now, I'm doing properly, or not, I think it will be stressed, especially, myself.

Especially, when I eating something, I judge, just now, I taste it, I taste it, I taste it, properly, properly, or not, but, it has, obviously, it has problem, it has problem.

Next, it's also, in the dream, about, in the dream, about the dream, maybe, who I dislike, look at me, from outside, but, I realized, in the dream, I could,

Apparently, I could take a revenge.

Just recently, and, in my school days, it's bothered me. Next, move on to this topic.

It's bothered me. Firstly, about recently, when I learning English, I don't look techist, because, it's my bad characteristic.

学習の悩みと疑問

I'm particular, too much, I'm really particular, really particular. It might get away of my English, learning English, but, to begin with, I'm developmental disability, so,

Most of something, most of thing, about me, it's different, from other person, from normal person, and, I realized, if I was a techist, for learning English, I might,

I might, I probably, probably, I probably, end up depending on reading, so, I'm not sure, it's correct or not. Next, it was yesterday, move on to the next topic, it was yesterday,

Tofu and app, about tofu and app, recently, I had tofu for lunch, since, I had tofu yesterday, until just now, it's bothered me.

And, I search it, I search app of, music app, and, other something, I end up searching, on the internet, so, I was tired, too much.

But, next, as I said, when I was student, at the high school, it's bothered me, and, recently, also, I thought, I'm not expert, and, I don't have knowledge of science,

So, it's no meaning, that, I think, while I was learning something, but, later, I realized, I realized, it's, it's pseudoscience, science.

So, most, I thought, it's my own opinion, most of the experts use pseudoscience, and, there was several opinions, and, I was confused.

However, it has more problem, that, I judge something, and, I thinking on, I'm thinking from scratch, but, way of learning, it's depend on, it's depend on, and,

And, especially, myself, a lot of things are different from other person, but, I thought, I should, I need to think about learning something, by myself.

I should think some extent, so, I thought, like this, I thought, I thought, but, I don't, I didn't wanted to think half-baked, I think, it's too bad.

But, I was just little bit thinking about learning something, I realized, I heard expert, opinion of expert, but, obviously, it was wrong, it seemed to incorrect.

However, I'm not expert, so, I think about it from the scratch, it's too bad.

Next, recently, I listened the podcast, Radio Personality said, it was at a mail on the radio,

年末の考察

It's a, that's a, he bought a lottery, and, he won lottery, and, of course, it's a lot, very huge money, he got huge money.

But, it has trick, he seemed to trick, he bought sometimes same number, same number, sometimes, but, he didn't buy lottery by chance, that time, it's wrong.

Of course, some people, it happened, and, opposite, of course, opposite thing is happened, happened, and, it's on my mind.

I tend to overthink, it's my bad characteristic, but, I end up overthinking, and, it's on my mind every day.

So, I listened this story, I was sorry too much, and, other person said, someone told him, maybe God told him, you shouldn't win the lottery, but, it's awkward.

But, it's awkward, it's spiritual, no way.

Next, next corner is HIKIMESHI, yesterday, December 30th, so, special dinner.

I had potato salad, and, egg, Japanese roll-down, it is, of course, it is egg, and, sugar, it's supermarket, market, it's supermarket tamagoyaki, and, bodegu, and, beef, I can eat it once a year.

It was good texture, too much, very much.

Thank you for, thank you for this program, see you again.

Please follow this program, thank you for listening, thank you for listening, please, see you again.