第5546回 EN Overthinking Patterns Life Without Answers

このエピソードは思考整理のための独り語りです。メンタルヘルスや発達特性を背景に、日常の悩 みや感情をそのまま話しています。聞き流しても問題ありません。

 This episode is a personal audio journal on daily struggles, mental health, andneurodiversity. It is meant to be listened to casually in the background.

このポッドキャストは、生きづらさ・メンタルヘルス・家庭問題を中心に、 日常で起きる出来事や思考を、感情を煽らず淡々と語る雑談ポッドキャストです。親子関係の衝突、家庭内トラブル、機能不全家族。 「普通」や「当たり前」とされる家族像や会話が成立しない現実を扱います。 発達障害（ASD / ADHD）、うつ病、双極性障害、不安障害、社会不安、幸福恐怖、強迫性障害（OCD）。 個人の特性と、家庭・社会環境が噛み合わないことで生じる問題を取り上げます。 宗教二世として育った経験から、 オカルトやスピリチュアルを信じて自分を誤魔化しながら生きることができない感覚についても語ります。 物事を都合よく解釈して安心することができず、 現実をそのまま見てしまうことによる生きづらさを扱います。 長期間の引きこもり、無職、就職活動の失敗、働けない現実。社会復帰の難しさや、将来への不安を、理想論ではなく事実として話します。 難病である潰瘍性大腸炎の可能性を抱えながら、 引きこもり状態のため十分な治療に繋がれない状況と、体調不安が日常生活に与える影響についても触れます。 人間関係のトラウマや、 新たなトラウマを作らないために距離を取るという選択。 人と関わる必要性を理解しつつも、発達障害が理解されにくい現実の中での葛藤を語ります。 哲学やニヒリズムを背景に、 存在の意味を求めるのではなく、 世の中を都合よく解釈する考え方そのものへの違和感や、人の思考の矛盾、浅はかさをスピリチュアルに逃げず考察します。 前向きさや希望を押し付ける番組ではありません。 答えを出すこともしません。 メンタルヘルス、発達障害、家庭問題、生きづらさを抱える人に向けた、静かで重めのトーク番組です。

This podcast focuses on mental health, neurodiversity, and family issues, discussed calmly and without emotional exaggeration. It covers parent-child conflict, dysfunctionalfamilies, and situations where so-called “normal” family dynamics do not work.Topics include ASD / ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders,social anxiety, fear of happiness, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),exploring how personal traits clash with family and social environments.Growing up in a religious household, I talk about the inability to rely on occult or spiritual beliefs to comfort or deceive myself, and the difficulty of facing reality without convenient explanations. The podcast addresses long-term social withdrawal, unemployment, failed job searches, and the realistic difficulty of returning to society. I also discuss the possibility of living with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness, while being unable to access proper treatment due to isolation, and how physical uncertainty affects daily life.Human relationships and trauma, choosing distance to avoid creating new wounds, and the struggle of living in a society where neurodiversity is rarely understood are recurring themes. Rather than seeking meaning, this podcastexamines how people conveniently interpret reality, the contradictions in human thinking, and social absurdities — without spiritual escape or comforting narratives. No self-help. No optimism. No answers. A quiet, heavy podcast forthose dealing with mental health issues, neurodiversity, family conflict, and the difficulty of living in reality as it is.

サマリー

ポッドキャストでは、日常生活における課題や変化についての体験を語り、特に家族の不在や待ち時間に焦点を当てています。エピソードでは、自己反省や後悔が生活に与える影響を探求し、過去の行動に基づく思考パターンを考察します。また、日本の文化における神社参拝の習慣や学校の規則についても思索を行います。さらに、過剰思考のパターンについて考え、答えのない人生の中でどのようにバランスを取るかを探求しています。

日常生活の課題

Life is hard? Yeah, it happens.

Family? Yeah, that too.

Developmental disability? It's not just that.

Conclusion? Conclusions.

Thank you for tuning in.

Welcome to my podcast.

This is a podcast where I talk commonly about the struggles and

farmer issues.

First corner is this incident.

It happened this morning.

I made a mistake. I end up searching about

I use and I search about tofu and soy dishes.

And podcast English app and music app.

I try to edit and make music

or sound or voice for podcast and

I try to change my tool for podcast and

I try to make, I try to use soy and tofu. It's Japanese food, tofu.

I wanted to have a lot of type of dishes.

I waste, I waste

I waste roughly 3 hours, 4 hours.

I regret it.

Next.

家族の不在と心の変化

Yesterday, my father isn't home.

My father wasn't home yesterday.

Today, like this, I

I'm comfortable and on the day like this, my mood change.

But recently, I can't do like this.

So it's tough.

I have been bored.

I have been boring.

So I'm happy if

I'm bad at change but

Just a little bit change is different.

I'm happy if there is change every life.

But recently, if he isn't home

My mood didn't change.

So I'm sad.

Next.

Wi-Fiとエネルギーの選択

I was not sure I should continue to use Wi-Fi or not.

It's waste our energy so perhaps

But turning on

It's our town, it's

So I had been confused.

It's my waste, waste money.

So I was not sure.

I fantasized and I

I was thinking about it.

If I disappear for 1 or 2 hours

If I turn off Wi-Fi like this.

Next.

There is a problem.

There is a problem.

Using the shaver

I also touch it.

I spent a lot of time.

I wanted to do it as fast as possible.

But it's waste a lot of time.

I'm bad at shaver.

I touch it and I found that

If I use it

When I was

When I have long hair

Just really long hair

It's bad.

And it's much better than

Use usual.

I

So I'm not sure.

I tried use water.

Wet my head

Wet my head and

I use it.

But it also have problem.

Next.

過去に対する後悔

It's my bad characteristic.

I end up thinking.

If I had told him blah blah blah.

If I had been doing blah blah blah.

I have a lot of thing

That I regret.

So I end up

Fantasizing.

If I

If I was blah blah blah.

Today when I was

When I was eating breakfast

I end up doing it.

I have conversation

With my friend.

I forget it but

Maybe

If I had been

If I talk him blah blah blah

It's my always

It's my usual thing.

Next.

Recently

Sometimes I

I repeat it.

To say something.

The person

Recently I

Recent podcast

The person who appeared on the podcast

Is similar to me.

神社参拝の習慣

And yesterday

I found new one.

Age of parent

It's very similar.

Almost same.

Age of parent.

So I was surprised.

He's also

He also

There is age gap.

His parent has

Have age gap

From him.

Next.

It's strange.

Japanese

For Japanese it's common.

Japanese

Almost

Most Japanese people go to

Go to a shrine.

Especially

Fourth area

I'm in Hokkaido.

For example in Hokkaido.

For example at Hokkaido.

It's very cold.

Too much. It's cold but too much.

They go to shrine.

Go to a shrine.

In the middle of the night.

And

They are lining up.

It's too long.

You see.

They are patient.

So they are waiting.

Two hour.

Three hour.

Two hour. Three hour.

I don't believe it.

Japanese people

Japanese people

Don't have

Religiously devout.

So I think it's strange.

I don't know why they are waiting

Long time.

And they are lining up.

But eventually

They arrive shrine.

And they are just praying.

Next.

In my school days.

I can't understand rule of school.

Discipline.

I can't understand gray area.

I can follow the rule.

I can follow the rule.

Sorry.

But I can understand.

I can understand gray area.

For example.

Classmate.

Didn't.

My classmate didn't bring a dictionary.

Bring a dictionary.

I end up

Bringing the dictionary.

Next corner is Hikimeshi.

I had egg.

It was sweet and good taste.

And potato salad.

Maybe potato salad.

And Jingisukan.

It's Hokkaido local food.

It's sheep.

Of course it's good taste.

My favorite food.

And egg plant.

And onion.

And cabbage.

And all of them is same taste.

Thank you for listening this program.

See you again.