2026-01-09 22:03

第5529回 EN Isolation Diary Inner Monologues

このエピソードは思考整理のための独り語りです。メンタルヘルスや発達特性を背景に、日常の悩 みや感情をそのまま話しています。聞き流しても問題ありません。

 This episode is a personal audio journal on daily struggles, mental health, andneurodiversity. It is meant to be listened to casually in the background.

このポッドキャストは、生きづらさ・メンタルヘルス・家庭問題を中心に、 日常で起きる出来事や思考を、感情を煽らず淡々と語る雑談ポッドキャストです。親子関係の衝突、家庭内トラブル、機能不全家族。 「普通」や「当たり前」とされる家族像や会話が成立しない現実を扱います。 発達障害(ASD / ADHD)、うつ病、双極性障害、不安障害、社会不安、幸福恐怖、強迫性障害(OCD)。 個人の特性と、家庭・社会環境が噛み合わないことで生じる問題を取り上げます。 宗教二世として育った経験から、 オカルトやスピリチュアルを信じて自分を誤魔化しながら生きることができない感覚についても語ります。 物事を都合よく解釈して安心することができず、 現実をそのまま見てしまうことによる生きづらさを扱います。 長期間の引きこもり、無職、就職活動の失敗、働けない現実。社会復帰の難しさや、将来への不安を、理想論ではなく事実として話します。 難病である潰瘍性大腸炎の可能性を抱えながら、 引きこもり状態のため十分な治療に繋がれない状況と、体調不安が日常生活に与える影響についても触れます。 人間関係のトラウマや、 新たなトラウマを作らないために距離を取るという選択。 人と関わる必要性を理解しつつも、発達障害が理解されにくい現実の中での葛藤を語ります。 哲学やニヒリズムを背景に、 存在の意味を求めるのではなく、 世の中を都合よく解釈する考え方そのものへの違和感や、人の思考の矛盾、浅はかさをスピリチュアルに逃げず考察します。 前向きさや希望を押し付ける番組ではありません。 答えを出すこともしません。 メンタルヘルス、発達障害、家庭問題、生きづらさを抱える人に向けた、静かで重めのトーク番組です。

This podcast focuses on mental health, neurodiversity, and family issues, discussed calmly and without emotional exaggeration. It covers parent-child conflict, dysfunctionalfamilies, and situations where so-called “normal” family dynamics do not work.Topics include ASD / ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders,social anxiety, fear of happiness, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),exploring how personal traits clash with family and social environments.Growing up in a religious household, I talk about the inability to rely on occult or spiritual beliefs to comfort or deceive myself, and the difficulty of facing reality without convenient explanations. The podcast addresses long-term social withdrawal, unemployment, failed job searches, and the realistic difficulty of returning to society. I also discuss the possibility of living with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness, while being unable to access proper treatment due to isolation, and how physical uncertainty affects daily life.Human relationships and trauma, choosing distance to avoid creating new wounds, and the struggle of living in a society where neurodiversity is rarely understood are recurring themes. Rather than seeking meaning, this podcastexamines how people conveniently interpret reality, the contradictions in human thinking, and social absurdities — without spiritual escape or comforting narratives. No self-help. No optimism. No answers. A quiet, heavy podcast forthose dealing with mental health issues, neurodiversity, family conflict, and the difficulty of living in reality as it is.

サマリー

ポッドキャストでは、日常の苦労やメンタルヘルス、家族の対立について考察されています。特に葬儀を通じての独自の挑戦が描かれています。このエピソードでは、夢や宗教、メンタルヘルスについての内省が語られ、ポッドキャスト制作における孤独や苦労が強調されています。孤独感を抱えながら、自身のポッドキャストや他者との対話を通じて、幸福や人生の反省が考えられています。人々は日々の生活の中で幸せや不快感を感じつつ、食事を通じてその体験を反映しています。

葬儀の出来事
Thank you for tuning in. Hello and welcome to my podcast.
This podcast commonly discusses daily struggles, mental health, and family conflicts.
I share thoughts on neurodiversity, isolation, social disconnection, and life as someone navigating unique challenges.
Daily life emotions and reflections are shared as they are.
First corner, today's incident.
Recently, we had a funeral on my grandmother.
In Japanese, someone died and 49 days later, kind of funeral is held.
Recently, I asked her, does he go to this event?
She said, no. She isn't gonna go to this event.
But yesterday, once more I asked her.
She said, yes, he doesn't, but I'm not sure.
It's different from she said.
I have no idea, but few days ago, she had confidence as usual.
But yesterday, she said, I have no idea.
She mentioned, he go to December 29th.
He go to Sapporo.
We were talking about this.
And as I said, at first, she said, she isn't gonna go to this event.
But when he go to Sapporo, this event might held and relative might get together.
It's December 29th, New Year's holiday.
They should get together.
But he go to Sapporo and come home.
And New Year's holiday, he go to Sapporo again.
It's too bad.
This is impossible.
It couldn't do.
So I said, she mentioned, I'm not sure.
She mentioned, there's no way I could know.
So I said, I know that you don't know, you can't know.
I know you don't know.
So I said, I said.
Next.
Always I watch the movie on YouTube.
On YouTube.
You can write.
You can write on the note.
Movie that I watched.
After all, she made a mistake.
So I feel that I waste too much.
I don't know why she made a mistake.
I felt it's mystery.
It's strange for me.
Next.
She also made a mistake yesterday.
A few days ago, kind of 30 or 50 days ago.
I told her, please don't serve Shichu for the dinner.
I had Shichu.
So my Christmas Eve was too bad.
It's a terrible mistake.
Next.
夢と宗教の内省
Yesterday, when I was sleeping, I watched a dream.
And the person who took care of me when I was a child appeared.
I felt strange.
And in the dream,
I went to a religious burial.
Burial of religion.
Sometimes I watched a dream like that.
But more than 10 years ago, I quit religion.
Since that time, it is once that I wanted to go back to this religion.
When I wanted to die too much,
that time, I wanted to go back to religion.
I wanted to become a religious believer.
Next.
I also watched a dream.
Senior student in my school appeared.
I respected him.
When I was in junior high school, he played baseball and I also played baseball.
He was smart.
Too much.
Very much.
Next.
ポッドキャスト制作の苦労
Yesterday and in the middle of the night,
I tried to make a video of Instagram and trailer of podcast.
And introduction of podcast.
I tried.
But it hasn't been going well.
After all, I realized I'm bad at make something.
Especially make art.
Next.
Corona is struggles and mental.
I have been doing this podcast.
Quietly podcast.
One person quietly.
It's this podcast characteristic.
But I don't listen and I don't watching podcast program and movie.
That is similar to my podcast.
I don't like there are other words here.
And of course, quietly.
Mental health and life philosophy.
I don't like.
But I like philosophy.
But mental and about heart.
I like bright atmosphere.
Recently I listened to program.
It's also same thing.
Next.
Move on to next corner.
Popcorn corner.
Yesterday I search on the internet.
I search it on the internet.
孤独と対話
Magician pro bird.
That's heart.
But I was sorry about this bird.
So yesterday I search it.
It was interesting.
Because magician.
They have.
That's bird.
It's too money and too time.
So I was surprised.
Next.
About 10 years ago.
Dentist make me buy toothbrush.
So I dislike him.
Yesterday I search it.
Why they make someone.
Anyone.
I don't know.
Buy something.
For example.
Dental horse.
Brush.
Yesterday I search it but.
Good article wasn't.
Didn't appear.
Appear.
And yesterday I felt lonely.
I was feeling lonely.
Because.
I realize.
There is nothing as.
Similar to my podcast.
I felt lonely too much.
It's really.
There is no.
No programmer like it.
I have had.
Same thing.
Appear several time.
And yesterday I fantasize.
I told classmate.
That I'm glad.
That you.
You join this sports team.
And I touched his shoulder.
Like this I said.
Next corner is philosophy.
As I said recently.
Yesterday I listen the podcast.
And she said.
Strange person appear.
And she said blah blah blah.
Strange action.
Strange word.
But I don't mind at all.
But.
My neighbor.
Talk to herself.
She has been noisy.
I mind.
It's on my mind.
Next.
Celebrity and idol.
Different from public.
But actually.
They are happy.
The ordinary person.
I don't think so.
At first.
They would be happy.
But.
Three months later.
They used to.
They get used to.
That situation.
Next topic.
We move on to the next topic.
I think.
When someone reflect that day.
Someone reflect one day.
Today was happy.
Today was unhappy.
They would think.
内面的な考察
They would think.
But.
Really.
They are tired.
And they are.
They think feel happy.
All day.
When they reflect.
End of the day.
Maybe she feel happy.
But.
Because.
Human has balance ability.
And next thing is same thing.
It's same thing that.
Human end up thinking.
Just now.
I feel happy.
I feel good.
Or I feel bad.
I feel uncomfortable.
I think it's wrong.
They feel reflect.
They don't reflect.
That moment.
Next corner is HIKIMESHI.
食事の楽しみ
Yesterday.
I had stew.
It was good flavor.
It's involve potato.
It's good texture.
And.
Evidently it's Chinese food.
Shrimp has good texture and good taste.
And oyster.
Fried oyster.
He make it for the first time.
It was good taste.
感謝の気持ち
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for.
Thank you for tuning.
Thank you for listening.
Please follow this program again.
22:03

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