2026-01-20 14:57

第5563回 EN Overthinking Again Nihilism and Daily Life

このエピソードは思考整理のための独り語りです。メンタルヘルスや発達特性を背景に、日常の悩 みや感情をそのまま話しています。聞き流しても問題ありません。

 This episode is a personal audio journal on daily struggles, mental health, andneurodiversity. It is meant to be listened to casually in the background.

このポッドキャストは、生きづらさ・メンタルヘルス・家庭問題を中心に、 日常で起きる出来事や思考を、感情を煽らず淡々と語る雑談ポッドキャストです。親子関係の衝突、家庭内トラブル、機能不全家族。 「普通」や「当たり前」とされる家族像や会話が成立しない現実を扱います。 発達障害(ASD / ADHD)、うつ病、双極性障害、不安障害、社会不安、幸福恐怖、強迫性障害(OCD)。 個人の特性と、家庭・社会環境が噛み合わないことで生じる問題を取り上げます。 宗教二世として育った経験から、 オカルトやスピリチュアルを信じて自分を誤魔化しながら生きることができない感覚についても語ります。 物事を都合よく解釈して安心することができず、 現実をそのまま見てしまうことによる生きづらさを扱います。 長期間の引きこもり、無職、就職活動の失敗、働けない現実。社会復帰の難しさや、将来への不安を、理想論ではなく事実として話します。 難病である潰瘍性大腸炎の可能性を抱えながら、 引きこもり状態のため十分な治療に繋がれない状況と、体調不安が日常生活に与える影響についても触れます。 人間関係のトラウマや、 新たなトラウマを作らないために距離を取るという選択。 人と関わる必要性を理解しつつも、発達障害が理解されにくい現実の中での葛藤を語ります。 哲学やニヒリズムを背景に、 存在の意味を求めるのではなく、 世の中を都合よく解釈する考え方そのものへの違和感や、人の思考の矛盾、浅はかさをスピリチュアルに逃げず考察します。 前向きさや希望を押し付ける番組ではありません。 答えを出すこともしません。 メンタルヘルス、発達障害、家庭問題、生きづらさを抱える人に向けた、静かで重めのトーク番組です。

This podcast focuses on mental health, neurodiversity, and family issues, discussed calmly and without emotional exaggeration. It covers parent-child conflict, dysfunctionalfamilies, and situations where so-called “normal” family dynamics do not work.Topics include ASD / ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders,social anxiety, fear of happiness, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),exploring how personal traits clash with family and social environments.Growing up in a religious household, I talk about the inability to rely on occult or spiritual beliefs to comfort or deceive myself, and the difficulty of facing reality without convenient explanations. The podcast addresses long-term social withdrawal, unemployment, failed job searches, and the realistic difficulty of returning to society. I also discuss the possibility of living with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness, while being unable to access proper treatment due to isolation, and how physical uncertainty affects daily life.Human relationships and trauma, choosing distance to avoid creating new wounds, and the struggle of living in a society where neurodiversity is rarely understood are recurring themes. Rather than seeking meaning, this podcastexamines how people conveniently interpret reality, the contradictions in human thinking, and social absurdities — without spiritual escape or comforting narratives. No self-help. No optimism. No answers. A quiet, heavy podcast forthose dealing with mental health issues, neurodiversity, family conflict, and the difficulty of living in reality as it is.

サマリー

このエピソードでは、英語学習の困難や日常生活における精神的な健康を探求しています。日常生活におけるニヒリズムについて考察し、英語学習の過程やポッドキャストの利用について議論しています。また、ニヒリズムと日常生活についての考察に加え、完璧主義からの変化を振り返っています。このエピソードでは、日常生活におけるニヒリズムの影響と、特定の食体験を通じての感情の変化に焦点を当てています。

日常生活の問題
Hello, welcome to my podcast. Thanks for tuning in.
This is a podcast where I will talk calmly about life struggles and family issues.
Today, I will talk about today's incident, especially about learning English.
And I'm not sure something. Firstly, first corner is today's incident.
I asked Yocan, I asked Yocan, TV show, performer of a TV show.
I asked her about a performer. And this is previous episode.
I was talking about previous episode, but she tried searching and she said blah blah blah.
But later I searched it, I searched it by myself.
This article didn't say previous episode.
It was regular performer. I was surprised.
She said someone who is regular member.
There was something like this.
Sometimes, sometimes it happens.
Next, move on to the next topic.
I asked her to write something on the note.
I asked her to write something.
Suddenly, she said, I want to go to bathroom.
So, I mentioned.
You said this firstly, because I should explain this thing again.
Sometimes, she made a mistake.
Like this, she didn't.
I should go to bathroom now.
She didn't.
Eventually, she went to bathroom.
She came back and please explain once more.
Not today.
She could say it firstly.
I want to go to bathroom.
I said blah blah blah.
Finally, she said, I'm gonna go to bathroom.
No way. Next.
精神的健康と気づき
Next topic is today's struggle and mental health.
Yesterday, I realized.
Yesterday, I noticed.
Sport higher has limit.
Probably, yesterday, I listened a lot of long time for learning English.
I had been not sure.
Way of learning English, but I decided to learn English on this way.
So, it's bad luck.
I searched something on the internet.
I was searching, but it was bad.
Bad luck person, bad luck man.
But...
But...
I found sound cloud.
But that moment, I noticed.
YouTube, it's okay.
I was not sure.
Why I thought it's bad.
I would listen...
I would watch YouTube.
No background.
I can't use it.
By background.
But I noticed.
It's no problem.
I was bad luck man.
And I also noticed.
Podcast also okay.
If...
If...
Limit gonna be coming.
When limit is coming.
I can listen podcast.
And today, especially afternoon.
After all, after all, I wanted to listen podcast.
That's recently I listened to.
Next.
ニヒリズムと日常生活
It's also bad luck man.
So, I thought from this thing.
For reason.
Yesterday, I didn't wanna cool down the body.
I should not have...
I should not have cool down the body.
For reason.
But I forget it.
Forget it.
But take my arm.
Took my arm.
Out of my blanket.
So, my body.
I end up cooling down.
So, I thought I'm bad luck person.
Yesterday.
Yesterday.
I was watching.
Learning English podcast program.
By chance.
So, I regret it.
Next.
I asked chat GPT about something.
Maybe...
I don't... I can't remember.
Remember it.
And chat GPT said.
Something that is realistic.
Basically, I'm very realistic person.
So, I thought.
I don't wanna be told that.
日常生活の悩み
So, I don't get along with chat GPT AI.
I don't get along with past human.
I also don't get along with chat GPT.
I don't get along with animal, human.
And I also... I noticed.
I also don't get along with chat GPT.
I was shocked.
Next.
I'm not sure where I should bring my smartphone.
Where I should take it to the second floor.
It's small thing.
But, for me, it's huge problem.
Because it's getting cold recently.
I can close the door.
So, when I took...
When I take cell phone to the first floor.
It's get more cold.
Get cold, it's problem.
Today, I'm not changing my clothes.
So...
That's timing.
It's OK.
It's bad.
Very long long time, I was not sure.
It's suffering me.
Next.
過去の完璧主義
I remember it.
There was...
There was one thing.
I remember it.
I remember.
In the morning.
Ten years ago.
More than ten years ago.
It was maybe...
More than ten years ago.
I wanted to be high society and classy person.
Classy person.
And I wanted to watch and listen amazing stuff.
Because...
I didn't want to be good sense.
I didn't want my sense to become strange.
And I wanted to be in a safe area.
So...
It was perfectionism.
Perfectionism.
And it's bother me.
But just now...
Now...
It's have been...
It's have been...
I have been changing.
More relax and...
Because...
I became...
I had became...
Nihilistic.
Nihilistic person.
And now...
食体験の共有
I'm nihilistic person.
Next corner is Hikimeshi.
Move on to the next corner.
Next corner.
I had croquette of crab cream.
And...
And mince cuts.
It's similar to...
It's similar to...
It's involve meat.
Maybe pork meat.
And...
Just little bit beef meat.
And onion.
It was amazing.
Certain super...
Super croquette.
Yesterday was special day.
Croquette festival.
I was not...
I was not really sure.
I was not really sure.
But it was amazing.
It's similar to maybe...
Hamburg.
Maybe hamburger steak.
Fried hamburger steak.
It's...
It had breading.
Thank you for listening.
Please follow this program.
See you again.
14:57

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