2023-07-20 52:45

#64【あなたのお父さん?キレる高齢者】Grumpy Old Man Around You

Haitai people, *English below

年を取るほど、争いごとが少なく、争いごとに対するより良い解決法を出せる。感情をコントロールすることができ、怒りっぽくなくなる。死が近づくと、長期的なゴールを気にしなくてよくなり、今を生きることが上手になる-英エコノミスト誌-

人は歳を重ねるごとに穏やかに、優しくなるらしいですがあなたの周りの60〜70代はどうでしょう?

仕事の肩書きが有っても無くてもあなたはあなた。的なマインドでお父さん&おじーを褒め称えることで問題は和らぐものなのか。。

What is your image of people who retired from their job like? Are they nice, or grumpy? According to a Japanese article, some of them got unhappy from loneliness and depressed about losing their social status. That sometimes leads them to commit a small crime even. On the other hand in Western countries, they seems more happy cause they can enjoy their hobby and time with family and friends. Physically after middle age, testosterone level gets lower and mentally unstable and that's one of the facts that happen to the human body. However, how do people maintain relationships with others influenced such as caring for other people and earning-more-money-is-the-better-person kind of perception?

<References>

日本の高齢者は、なぜこうも「不機嫌」なのか会社にへばりつこうとすることと密接な連関

The rebirth of cool: It's not easy being a lovable middle-aged man in Japan

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#Japanese#OkinawanDialect#JapaneseCulture#Ojisan#Irritable male syndrome#JapaneseSalaryMan#Retirement#AngerControl#GrumpyOldMan#MiddleAge#日本の高齢者#定年退職#承認欲求#コミュニケーション#沖縄#英語#バイリンガル#ポッドキャスト

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00:00
せーの。 What's up, amazing people? This is IYASASA RADIO by Akane and Minami.
In this radio, we are going to talk about random topics in Okinawan Japanese and English.
はいたーい。 ぐすーよーちゅーがなびらー。
IYASASA RADIO-ぬー、アカネーとミナミーやいびーん。
うぬーレーディオでぐすーよーんかい、イエーイゴーとウチナーグチサーに
いっぺーんうむさーるはなし、つづけーんアンディチー、うむとーいびーん。
Especially in Japan, angry elderly has been topic.
Violence, verbal abuse, and crimes at stations and hospitals have been reported,
and voices of antipathy toward the elderly are growing stronger among the younger generation.
It looks like an international struggle, but why are the elderly in Japan so angry?
We often hear the theory that the elderly tend to be angry
as we get older, our frontal lobes of our brains shrink,
making us less judgmental and less able to control our emotions.
In the case of men, testosterone and the male hormone declines,
and in their 60s and 70s, depressive symptoms similar to menopause occur in women.
For these reasons, it is said that symptoms such as grumpy old man syndrome
and irritable male syndrome will become apparent in Europe and the United States.
People tend to be happier as they get older.
This is a prominent trend in Europe and the United States,
but in Japan, it is exactly the opposite.
A survey of happiness levels by age group reveals that the developed country's happiness
tends to be high when young, low during middle age, and rise again at old age,
forming a true U-curve.
A London School of Economics study of 23,000 people aged 17 to 85
found that the happiest were those aged 23 and 69.
In Japan, on the other hand, happiness declines with age.
Regarding the tendency to be happier as people get older,
economists said the older you get, the less conflicts you have
and the better solutions you can find to conflicts.
As death draws near, people no longer need to worry about long-term goals
and become good at living in the moment.
Why is this phenomenon not occurring in Japan?
Sickness, physical disability, financial anxiety.
Even if various factors overlap,
this is a story common to all countries around the world.
I plan to analyze the question of why only Japan in detail
03:01
in an interview with an expert in the next issue,
but I think that the major factors are the serious loneliness of the elderly
and the feeling of being unfulfilled.
I want approval.
In Europe and the United States, top executives and executives of companies
earn 10 to 100 times more than Japan executives
and are looking forward to quitting and spending their retirement life.
Visit second homes scattered around the world,
immerse yourself in your favorite hobbies and give lectures.
Retirement is also a long-awaited time to make your dreams come true.
After retirement, these executives devote themselves to charity work.
Donating a lot of money to a charity
that builds a facility with a name such as Akane Library, Minami Hall, etc., is appreciated.
Also, even if you don't have much time to spare,
you can contribute to society by volunteering.
In this way, the desire for recognition and the desire for honor are satisfied.
In Japan, we don't hear about this very often.
Uncles who insist on black painting are afraid of the sense of loss
peculiar to the elderly that they will not be recognized or needed by society.
In order to satisfy the craving for approval of the elderly,
new reward systems and ideas for creating communities will be necessary.
In addition, there is an absolute lack of communication between
generations and between elderly people, both in terms of quality and inequality.
To call out, say hello, give thanks, praise.
There should be opportunities to make each other happy from casual words and conversations.
In Japan, the elderly are the ones who have the most problems.
Violence, slander, crime, etc. at stations and hospitals have been brought up,
and the rebelliousness of the younger generation against the elderly is getting stronger.
It's just a matter of generational conflict, but why are the elderly in Japan unhappy?
Certainly, I often hear the theory that the elderly are easy to get angry.
When you become an elder, the frontal lobe of the brain shrinks,
the judgment power decreases, and the tolerance of emotions is no longer effective.
In the case of women, testosterone, a male hormone, decreases,
and in the 60s and 70s, a state of depression similar to that of women's menopause occurs.
06:04
From this, even in the United States,
Grumpy Old Man Syndrome, Irritable Male Syndrome,
Irritable Male Syndrome,
The older you get, the happier you feel.
This is a common trend in Europe and the United States, but in Japan, it's exactly the opposite.
According to a survey conducted by the Ministry of Health and Welfare for each age group,
in advanced countries, happiness is high at a young age,
and it goes down in middle age, and it goes up again when you get old.
According to a survey conducted by the London School of Economics for 23,000 people aged 17 to 85,
the happiest age was between 23 and 69 years old.
On the other hand, as you get older in Japan, your happiness goes down.
In the case of the tendency to be happy when you get older,
the more you get older, the less conflict you have,
and you can find a good solution to conflict.
You can control your emotions, and you don't get angry.
When you get closer to death, you don't have to worry about long-term goals,
and you'll be better at living in the present.
But why doesn't this happen in Japan?
Illness, physical disability, financial anxiety,
and many other factors,
but this is a common story in all countries of the world.
Why is it only in Japan?
I think the big reason is the serious loneliness of the elderly,
and the unfulfilled desire for approval.
In Europe and the United States, top companies and executives
earn ten or a hundred times as much as Japanese executives,
and are looking forward to retiring and living a retirement life.
They go to second houses all over the world,
and they do what they like,
and they do performances.
Retirement is also a time of longing for a dream to come true.
After retiring, these executives
devote themselves to charity work.
They get a lot of money they've earned and donate it,
and they donate it to the Akane Library, the Minami Hall,
and other facilities that have names on them,
and they are grateful.
And even if they don't have that much time,
they contribute to society as volunteers.
By doing this, they fulfill their desire for approval and honor.
I don't hear much about this in Japan.
What the old men are afraid of is
that they will not be recognized by society,
that they will not be needed.
I think it's a sense of loss unique to the elderly.
In order to fulfill the desire for approval of the elderly,
a new verification system and community-building ideas are also needed.
09:01
In addition, the communication between the generations and the elderly
is absolutely lacking in quality.
They talk to each other, greet each other,
thank each other, and praise each other.
A chance to make each other happy
should be born from casual words and conversations.
Angry elderly.
Akane is obsessing about picking up this
キレる高齢者 topic.
Yeah, recently my dad tend to be angry in the house.
It was like a huge topic in my family.
So we are trying to find a solution
how to solve this problem with entire my family.
So I wanted to, you know,
search and find a way to the answer about it.
So does your dad get angry because of, you know, similar to this article?
Like after the retirement, he needs more 承認行く
and have an opinion to the society or something.
He used to have his company and he retired because of some happen.
And then now he's struggling like solve those problems.
And also he still have 執着 for that.
And maybe like
he said like it's getting hard to control his emotion.
So he already like aware of what happening in his body.
So I found this article and everything they say was similar to my dad.
So it's so close topic for me.
But the good thing is like whole your family aware of his anger
and also telling him that.
And does he get upset about this?
I mean about that you guys saying to him like you should change
or you should, you know.
My family is more like straightforward.
Like everyone is like that.
So everyone says what they think straightly.
So my family and my dad also say to us like that.
12:02
So we don't really control our emotion.
We are all like chai.
So chai doesn't make your dad mad more?
I think so.
It makes him more mad I think.
Or like make him more stubborn.
Both.
That's the reason I want to ask you is like imagining I tell my dad
like you should you know be more calm relax not you know being too opinionated
to the society.
And he will definitely get upset if I say that.
So if I say that to all of my family I think they will get even more upset.
So I try to be more straightforward but something happened recently and my brother and sister
can't like can't say nothing like they wanted to say something to him.
So I think there are a lot of reasons why I want peace.
I want peace.
So it's not really common to have a dad after you retire in Japan right?
Some of my friends their family I mean my friend's dad is more like calm and quiet.
And then he is he has hobby doing like field work or taking care of his grandchild.
He's doing his business still.
So he's not retiring.
Compared to those situations it depends on their personality.
I think it related to the job they used to have.
If they have like title.
CEO.
There are times like that right?
Yeah.
In the past like
How do I say this
Now it's like a time of wind right?
Yeah.
But in the past like
How much money do you have?
How big is your company?
What is your position?
And then everyone follows that person.
And then
You get judged for your social status.
15:03
In a lot of situations.
And when you retire
It doesn't really matter anymore.
If you stay at home
Even though you've been working
You stay at home all the time.
And
My mom and dad
They've always been a housewife.
But they have friends and hobbies.
They do a lot of things.
Like going out to their house.
They know how to release stress.
But
On the other hand
My dad doesn't really do that.
He doesn't socialize.
So he stays at home all the time.
And his family tells him a lot of things.
So I think that's why
It's like a social isolation.
Yeah.
And I think it's also like
Kodo Keizai Seichoki
And like
Japanese salaryman was so powerful.
To raise the economic level of Japan.
And
Being a business person
Was more the thing
Than now.
Yeah.
You know
Nowadays
We don't really care about who you are.
I mean what you do.
If you have a good vibe
We can be friends.
But it might be
Back in the day
There was some kind of perception
Of like
Men should be like this.
Women
Should act like this.
In a different way.
And
The better
You do at your job
Is
The better salary
And
Better respect.
And reputation.
But moms is like
You know after the retirement age
Then you know
They are relieved from
Kosodate
And relieved from
You know making food
For husband.
I don't know.
Because the kids are not at home already.
So more enjoyable life.
Yeah.
Because they can't
Because they can't cook.
But again it depends on
Person but
My family is
Very similar to that.
Yeah but
There is this article
It's not minority
Yeah.
Like your dad and my dad
Also similar.
Like wanted to
Stand out.
And wanted to be a right person.
You know so
We are not able to have
18:00
Like a good discussion ever.
Because he is always right.
And I'm get you know
Tired of
Talking to him.
You know?
Catch ball is not fun.
Because he is always right.
Really it's same.
I'm tired of him.
He always says he is right.
There is this kind of
Thought.
I'm sure my dad and my mom
Will say it's funny.
I'm sure my dad and my mom
Will say it's funny.
Pride and
My past experiences
And my family's
Innocence.
That's the truth.
I think that's the reason.
But recently
My dad is going out.
Does he have friends?
With
I didn't
I didn't think he had friends
Before but now he has friends
Somehow.
He had a friend.
But you didn't know.
I don't think so.
He made a friend
After the retirement.
He said it's been like a few years
Since he knows them.
But now
He hangs out with them again.
He looks happy.
He gets like fashion
All white
And goes out.
He looks happy.
I think that's a good thing.
He is social.
Drinking parties and golf
Are social.
I think
If they have friends to hang out
We don't need to worry about loneliness
Loneliness
But like
I don't know English
For example
When they are home
The mother of the family
Or the daughter of the family
Doesn't say anything
Or doesn't want to talk to them
Like me
There is loneliness
Inside the house
That is also a problem
It's not like
We don't have a separate house
In Japan
The married couple
I think there are some people who are in love
But they spend time together
So
They are like air
There are more people like that
It's fine if it's air
But
21:01
They don't want to be together
So they stay in a different room
I think that's a problem
But isn't that common?
It is
I think that's more common
There are people
Who choose to break up
But they don't have to
They live together
They are teammates
But
Even after retirement
Even after retirement
There are some men
Who are not cooperative
That's true
That's a problem
That's like
That's the thing
Mom doesn't like
Dad used to
Work
Earn money for the family
But
When he retired and at home
He doesn't do anything
Just watching TV and lay down on the couch
That's like
What are you doing at home?
That's exactly
Same thing happened
In my family too
I know her feeling
I feel her
But I feel him too
He used to own his company
So he doesn't want to be hired
By somebody
That's how he can't work
But my mom
Used to be a housewife
It's like she runs the place
She is more outgoing
It's easier
For her to be hired
But still
She is getting 70 years old
And it's getting harder
To find a job
It's really hard to find a job
After 60
She doesn't have a job
That's one of the problems
Like
She has to stay at home
She doesn't have money
So
It's a big issue
In Japan
When I retired
24:00
In the US
I thought
I can fish everyday
Because I worked hard
I was looking forward to it
When I think of Americans
It's easy
To imagine
But Japanese men
They don't look like
They are happy
I was surprised by
The article
It said
Japanese men
Are the only ones
Who can fish
In the US and Europe
When you retire
Everyone
Is calm
And happy
But in Japan
That's so sad
I don't want to be unhappy
I didn't think about that
But you brought up
This gay coalition thing
That makes sense
But I think it's the issue
Of making
The retirement money
And I think the image
Of getting older
Is a really
Beautiful thing
In both
Men and women
So in the end
The image of old men and women
That society created
There are people
Who are more outgoing
But there aren't many
There are special people
Like old ladies
But I think
Everyone should be free
But
If you think about it
In school education
There aren't many
Companies
That encourage you
To do what you like
More than that
Being a robot
And make money
Because
You are a robot
You can become a robot
So
No matter how much
You are appreciated
But
There are too many
People who think
That you are worth it
But even if you are doing
That actor or singer job
That
That doesn't mean
27:01
It's you know
Full version of yourself
Like you have different faces
At home with your friends
And blah blah
More pure personality
I think everyone
Should be more content
No matter how hard the job is
Like
Even if it's a job like that
In the end
Everyone is the same
So
If you think you are worth it
Like a professional baseball player
The moment they quit
They burn out
And they don't know who they are
And
People around you
Look at you like that
Like what you used to be
Like what you used to do
It doesn't matter
But
There are not many people
Who look at you like that
Yeah
I think now
Our generation has
Different
Perspective
Like us
But
The elderly people
They didn't have those perspective
In old days
Of the society
So
When we get older
I think it's gonna be different
That's what I thought
Yeah
I see
And like Akane said
The concept that the world is only in Japan
Yeah
What was it?
The world versus the world
Is only about in Japan
Like when you go abroad
You don't see the world that much
Generally
People say something about it
But the world
Is not
That much
There was an article
I think the world
Is in
China and
Korea too
Is it like Asian thing?
I think it's like
Buddhism or
I don't think
Being a Christian or being
You know
Western people
They are like individualism
Individualism
But like Japanese
And Asian is more
Like a group
I don't know the opposite word of
Individualism
Like
Overallism
That's why
Individualism is wonderful
Is it different from democracy?
It's different
It's like
It's like
A right-wing
Right-wing thing, right?
30:01
Everyone
Has to be the same
Marriage and divorce
Americans are not happy
So they get divorced
But Japanese have kids
It's rude to their family
So it's like
Individualism and
Overallism
So
So
The survey about
Happiness
Probably
Japan and other
Asian older people
Had same
Thing
You mean Japanese?
Is it similar?
Western people
Their happiness level
Goes up
But in Japan
Their happiness level
Goes down
So
This survey
We talked about
We can't ignore it
The survey
The way to ask is
Western
So
It's not a bad thing
To care about society
It's like
How do you say?
Having good harmony is a beautiful thing
In here
It's like
Same as we love nature
It means with the stress as well
But
It's the same thing as we love nature too
Like
We believe in
There is like
Each human
Or each life
Like moon, sun
Stone or
Water, everything
It's the same thing
But when it comes to the society
Or the lifestyle
We are struggling
You know, caring
What other people think
So
Can we just meet in the middle
Of western and Asian
Culture
There are good things
So
The happiness level
Can be affected by the country
Or the society
Maybe
And
About the
The article said
About the testosterone thing
About the hormone
It's same
In every
Other countries, right?
So
Even in Obe, Kireru Koreshi
Are still there
Grumpy old men
Things
Really grumpy old men
Literally
But
33:00
They are struggling so much
They
Like
I always think like
Grumpy old men should go to
See a doctor and talk to them
And solve their problems
Because it's out of control
For us
To deal with
But
They don't like
To talk with doctor
They think it's not that big deal
So
I searched
Like other
Like
Articles and
See the
Solution
Like how to deal with
It's only said like
It's almost the same
They realize it by themselves
And people around them
Deal with it
So
I thought
Like listen to them
Notice the change
Get involved with other society
Don't make them
Obsessed
It's difficult
And like
Kireru Koreshi also did
Like crime thing
I think it's dangerous
So
We need to know
Like
We need to know
What we should do
I think it's not only
Koresha
Who does commit a crime
Like too much
Anger
It's like
Whole Japanese society issue
Like there is
Kireru Kodomo too
Yeah
In the article
Like
That's a bit creative
Yeah
Smart ass old grumpy man
Yeah
We need to stop them
But they don't like to be stopped
So
I don't know how to control
But it doesn't matter
Like prank
Like
For example, you fell down
Yeah
Like
Most of the time
I
Laugh
Or make fun of them
Or to myself or to my
Family or friends
36:00
But some people get really
Serious
And be upset
About
Small mistakes
Or like silly thing
Like
What do you think about that?
It doesn't matter
About age
I think there is
About personality
I think Japanese people are like that
Like optimistic or very serious
But
How to say
Pursue
Like
How to say
Personality
Like
Maybe Latino
Yeah
It's always serious
Japanese people are serious
So serious
You need to stop being serious
Too much
Yeah
That's the solution
You know like
Look up the article
The solution was
Keep eyes on them
Talk to them, worry about them
Like
Don't stick to them
Like
I even recommend to my dad
That yoga
You need to do yoga
Like meditation
I didn't understand at all
Like
Compliment yourself
Throw away unnecessary thoughts
And relax
I think they need those time
That's what I think
He hasn't done that before
24 7
Think about same thing
All the time
Like that
He can't sleep
And he get angry
And piss off to everyone
Like that
He needs to stop being like that
But it's because of the hormone
And testosterone thing
It's hard to do it
That's the testosterone thing
Testosterone thing
You can't do muscle training
39:01
Yeah
Golf
And maybe
What young people recommend
It's what young people say
So you can't do it
Like
I know more than
I know everything more than you
That's what I think
It's
I should listen to younger people too
I think
Recently
There are a lot of young people
That's what I think
I guess
Japanese people
Love to categorize people
Old men
Old women
Generation Z
Or girls
For now
They just wanna put in
The people to the box
See
Certain way
They should behave
Expect to behave
Yeah
That's why
I don't know how to say it
Human
Each person
Has their own personality
I like to categorize people
But I think this person is like that
But when you get personal
It's that person
When you get personal
You feel like you're being
Intruded
Yeah
It's like
Gender
Or generation
It's like
It's not like you're dating the same generation
Yeah
Like
When you get older
Young people are gay
And then
You should
Adopt those
View
That's what I think
Until now
When I was in my 20s
I learned a lot
From older people
In society
But
As I get older
For example
In my work situation
They are talented
Videographer
Young generation
They have other ideas
About my work too
So I want to absorb those things
That's my work situation
But
Their mentality
And their
Concept
Is more higher
Recently
Young people
42:00
How do I say
I feel like I'm in between
How I face my heart
Yeah
How I face things I can't see
How do I say
How do I say
Sensitivity
I feel like it's higher
When these people
Get older
It becomes normal
When I think like that
There's too much gap
Between here and there
It becomes
A big deal
I have that experience
Recently
But the generation gap
Is always around us
Yeah
Until we die
But the younger people
The more fresh
And more creative
More open
More innocent
More open
I feel like
Younger people
Have more power
But older people
Is
Experienced
Yeah
So
It's important to think
About whether you are higher or lower
But you don't have to worry
Yeah
You don't have to
Ask yourself
Ask yourself
But
You don't have to worry about it
But a lot of people say it's rude
So you do it
As a form
But you don't have to
I think it's happier
If you don't have it
Yeah
As a human
Whether you meet this person
Or not
There are many ways to think
Respect
Respect
Ask
Ask
If you can do it with your parents
I don't know if
Your parents will accept it
Yeah
So
You should listen to your parents
And your parents
Should listen to us
Yeah
Even if you don't
You don't have to accept it
You just need to understand it
Yeah
Because there are a lot of impossible values
But if there is
I don't think there will be
A lot of words like
Old people
Because they want to put a label on it
Hashtag
It's just a natural thing
Because
Grumpy old man
Is kind of funny
But
If it's Japanese
45:01
Serious
Sounds like
Don't use it as a social issue
Yeah
It's hard
This up and down
Respect
But
The whole thing is happy
It's hard
Young people
I think
They will get angry
But
It's natural to happen for them
And they can handle
It by themselves
They are
Recognizing it
And then also like old people
Should know what happened
In their body
And then like how to communicate
With young people
You don't have to get angry
And then
Yeah
Family unit
Community
Neighborhood unit
Yeah
It's good to be connected with people
Yeah
Like
Going back to the body
It's like
It's like
It's like
It's like
It's like
It's like
It's like
It's like
It's like
And then
I think some people worry about it
Yeah
They should talk with their family first
Before they
Pissed off
And
They should know
What happened
And
They should talk with their friends
Old people
Like
Can you get angry recently?
Have you ever pissed off?
That's like
Female conversation
Yeah
Why don't men
Talk about
Their life
Each other
It's like a big question
It's even young people
Like whole men
I don't know
Because
I don't think it's a shame
But they think it's embarrassing
Maybe
Or like make them look
Weak
I don't know
But I really think so
Because
For example
48:01
Do you have a girlfriend?
Are you married?
What's up with you recently?
And
Even though you see each other everyday
I don't know
I don't talk about it
You don't even know about that?
Then what do you talk about everyday?
That's what I think
In a way
How can I say
It's a good relationship
That doesn't step into
Personal information
I think
Girls
Everyone is speaker
They can't keep secret
That's dangerous thing
If you want to talk about a secret thing
On the other hand
Just
Entangle people talking a lot
What's happening
In our lives
Each other
Is good for health
Then can we meet
In the middle?
Men and women
But
There are differences between men and women
There are
Because there are only men
In Kiriru
But in the past
Men worked more
And women were at home
So it was easier to be alone
But now
Women are working
But women
Even if they come back home
They can socialize
So it's not a problem
When they come back home
They can hang out with friends
Like a reunion
Yeah
Basically there are more people who like to talk
But that's a biological feature
Maybe
Then
Old men and men
How about
Chatting a little more
How about that?
Chatting
Don't be
Serious too much
Yeah
It doesn't have to be just chatting
You can do like serious
Discussion too
Like French people
Anyway
I think it's good to talk
Even if it's a debate
If you don't have to
You can just say
It was fun
There are a lot of
Individuals
Japan
Western
Ideas
Salary
51:00
Because
Minaminaka
Didn't have a salary when she was 60
If you don't have
At least money
You can't be happy
Akane's
Family
But
At the end
Like
My dad is angry
Family issues
At the end
I think
Just being alive makes a lot of money
It can be any topic
It can
But
No matter how angry
No matter what happens
I think it's better to be thankful
I think it's better
Family
Dad
Grandpa
I'm still alive
I'm thankful
I don't know when people will die
Like this
It's fun
Yeah
I
If I have that feeling
Anything
I'm alive
Like this
Just be relaxed
And make fun
Of people
Too serious
Yeah
That's all for today
Bye
52:45

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