00:01
What's up, amazing people! This is IYASASA RADIO by Akane and Minami.
In this radio, we are going to talk about random topics in Okinawan, Japanese and English.
In honor of International Women's Day on March 8th,
Ryukyu Shimposha conducted a questionnaire about inheritance of the トートーメー which is Okinawan altar in Okinawan language.
When asked about the successor of altar, the result said 65.3% were eldest son, 15.7% were biological male relatives, so 80% was men.
Also, when asked who is mainly responsible for preparing food and cleaning all the stuff at the event in the house, the result said 83.5% was women.
トートーメー has been inherited from generation to generation by eldest son and related men, and Okinawan people has been hold traditional events such as shimi and obon.
These days, 56.6% said they don't care who would be a successor and becoming tolerant to have women successor.
54.4% said they have problems about this issue in the family, and 51.9% said being a successor is very difficult.
Also, 36.4% said it has financial problem.
If people keep doing the old style, they need to divide work equally and they should discuss before it happened.
If people keep doing the old style, they need to divide work equally and they should discuss before it happened.
If people keep doing the old style, they need to divide work equally and they should discuss before it happened.
トートーメー has been inherited from generation to generation by eldest son and related men, and Okinawan people has been hold traditional events such as shimi and obon.
56.6% said they don't care who would be a successor and becoming tolerant to have women successor.
03:09
54.4% said they have problems about this issue in the family, and 51.9% said being a successor is very difficult.
36.4% said it has financial problem.
In order to inherit Okinawa's traditional culture, they need to divide work equally and they should discuss before it happened.
If people keep doing the old style, they need to divide work equally and they should discuss before it happened.
If people keep doing the old style, they should discuss before it happened.
I'm not saying whose family it is, but my mom and my aunt, all family member women, always doing playing stuff, preparing everything.
I've seen them doing everything, even financial stuff.
It doesn't have to be shimi or anything, it's in every family event at the house.
All women go to kitchen and talking and chatting, and the men are sitting, talking about business.
It's been like this since I was a kid.
It's not only about Butsudan, it's unique.
Can I say it's old?
It's classic.
It's like a time slip.
I'm an adult now, so I understand a lot of things, and I want to play my role.
06:06
But me, my dad or my uncle, any male, talks to me like, hey, bring in a beer.
And I was like, what? Why only me? Why don't you ask my brother? It's the same age.
It's like a household for women thing.
If my brother already start working and making money and taking care of family, it makes sense.
But we were just kids.
But we already had that role.
Because I just happened to born with vagina.
Isn't it terrible?
At first, I was like, it's so annoying.
But now I'm like, I don't know if I should fight with these people.
I'm not from the southern family.
Now I'm just bringing beer.
I'm earning more than anyone else.
If there's anyone who doesn't know about the totoumei detail, there are four main rules.
What is totoumei?
Totoumei no...
Totoumei no...
How many times did I say it?
Should I start with totoumei towa?
Yes.
There is a novel.
Originally, it means you are in front of a noble person.
In kanji, totoumei...
Sorry, in kanji...
Sonkei no son ni ore no oni mae.
Yes.
Totoumei refers to the name of the deceased person or the funeral rites.
In addition to that, it is also referred to as iifei, guansu, riijin.
The Chinese people were the first to adopt ancestors through totoumei.
The tradition of adopting ancestors or individuals through totoumei began in Okinawa in the 1600s.
According to the origin of the Okinawan origin,
it is said that the Chinese people immigrated to Okinawa and made the totoumei.
Or, the Chinese people immigrated to Okinawa and made...
Oops, I made a mistake.
Or, it is said that the totoumei was transmitted from China to the mainland and from Linzai to Okinawa.
09:02
In addition, Okinawa has a large and magnificent hafubaka and kamekoubaka.
These are also graves often seen in Taiwan and China.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
It's in Taiwan.
I like the orange grave.
It is said that the ihai is placed in the center of the butsudan.
Ukooru is placed below it.
This ihai is called totoumei.
The nuance of ihai and totoumei in Japanese is a little different.
I can't say exactly which is which.
We grew up with a huge grave.
But, when I was in mainland Japan, the tomb was really small.
Is mainland Japan called a grave?
I don't know.
But, I thought it was completely different.
I was very surprised.
I remember that.
I didn't know that the grave was so influenced by China.
Shurijo is a Chinese-style building.
Red and gold are all Chinese-style.
Japanese graves are gray or black.
In terms of graves, Okinawa's traditional culture is rooted in Okinawa.
That's why women do a kitchen thing and men sit in the chairing.
Totoumei should have men.
Keisho said for men or related men.
Eldest said related men.
It's like a man's ideology.
Maybe it's the same in China.
I think it's the same in Fukkensho and Rinzai.
But, my mom said that if it's a capital city, women can say it.
Really?
I don't know.
The capital city is so unique.
Because it's an island.
In English,
What is Totoumei?
There are various theories, but originally it means Before Inferno, Precious One.
And the name of the deceased person and the date of death are written in the mortuary tablet.
In addition, it seems that they are also called E-feet, guns, and red zin.
12:03
It is said that the custom of memorializing ancestors through mortuary tablets were born in China.
And the custom of offering a memorial service to ancestors and deceased people through Totoumei is considered to be a custom from the 1600s in the Christian era.
Regarding the route that this custom was transmitted to Okinawa,
it is said that it was transmitted through Kume village,
which was made by the people of Hujun province in China,
or that it was transmitted from China to the mainland and then to Okinawa through the Rinzai sect.
There are various theories.
In addition, the tombs in Okinawa include large and magnificent tombs such as Hafubaka and Turtle Back tombs,
which are also common in Taiwan and Hujun province in China.
It has been a long-standing practice to place a mortuary tablet in the center of the Buddhist altar
and a Ukoru censer is placed below it.
The Buddhist altar itself, where such a mortuary tablet is enshrined and Ukoru is placed, is sometimes called Totoumei.
Do you have Butsudan at your parents' house?
We just got the Butsudan at my parents' house last year because my grandfather died.
So it's like so brand new.
So your parents have Butsudan because your dad is the eldest?
He's actually the second son, but the eldest son was dead 10 or 15 years ago.
So he's technically the eldest, right?
We don't have Butsudan yet.
But it's coming soon?
I don't know. My parents are very energetic, so they don't die soon.
My dad is from Ie Island and he's the eldest, but he is not biological eldest son.
That's why he doesn't have Butsudan.
15:00
It's so obvious, right?
I mean, his parents got divorced and his mom married to another guy.
And then he has like seven younger brothers and sisters.
And I think the eldest, but the younger for him, brother has the altar at Ie Island, maybe.
I don't know. It's so complicated.
What does your dad think about this tradition?
I think he was struggle about it for a long time.
All the family from Ie Island came to my parents' house sometimes.
And they have like discussion all the time when his mom died.
But as soon as his mom died, passed away, he didn't go to Ie Island.
Oh.
I mean, like, frequently.
That's why I think the more Ie Island is, the stronger the blood relationship is.
That's why you think the more Ie Island is, the stronger the blood relationship is.
That's why you think the more Ie Island is, the stronger the blood relationship is.
Yeah.
Even though Okinawa is really strong.
I think so.
And my mom has also seven or eight siblings.
That's a lot.
But she is because a woman.
She doesn't have any, like, this thing.
Successor thing.
But the male relatives already died because they are older than her.
Then maybe the cousin, the eldest brother's son has, you know, tomb and altar and everything.
He takes care of it.
And then he also lives in my mom's parents' house.
Because my grandma and grandpa already passed away.
Oh.
Because they are women, they have to leave their house.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So it's very Okinawan traditional family.
I think it's super religious custom.
Like ancestor worship thing.
It's not like a religious, religious.
But like, you know, since we're seeing the old action, like parents really strict to, you know, keep doing this prayer thing and everything is like, it's super religious.
18:00
Yeah.
Yeah.
According to this Ryukyu Shinpo article, like most of the half people think like they don't care who taking over the altar, like men or women.
Yeah.
It's so, you know, like isn't it simply because there is the rule that men have to taking care of the altar and women don't?
Like when, you know, the family or making a new family.
I agree that we need to narrow the gender gap.
But it's been a rule for a long time.
So if we make it like men or women, it will be too complex.
Yeah.
If we make it like that, it will be difficult.
It's difficult.
Because it's a family rule.
It's like there is no official rules from the government or anything.
So family needs to take care of it because they don't have the rules.
I think that's really sad.
Yeah.
First of all, like why are we doing this thing is worship ancestors.
21:03
Thinking about our senzo.
Ancestor.
Very religious.
Very religious.
She's doing because her parents?
I don't know.
I think she's a good mom.
I talked about this article with my mom.
It's like, I don't wanna.
She said like, my dad and my mom was also talking about this article.
And my dad get kind of upset.
To, you know, all the media doing this questionnaire thing.
What they think and the gender role blah blah blah.
Because she's Showa guy.
Very traditional guy.
I think he's afraid of like when the rules are changed.
Updated.
Changed or broke because of like modern thinking.
Yeah, he's not really fond of like progressive thinking like now like modern people have.
Because he does know about history.
Or the Meiji era, Edo era, how Japan changed because of the GHQ.
My mom said to me like, he was kind of upset, but I have been taking care of all the stuff.
24:07
Role, role.
I think there's a generation gap in this way of thinking.
Women always have so many tasks at house.
Like when it comes to Okinawa traditional events, we have like a lot things to do.
And then it's very traditional.
Yeah.
So old fashioned.
In this article said like a women international day so it focused on like how women have done for doing all the tasks.
But there is like a men's struggle too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Family can come together.
And that they have relationship.
Even though we have a lot of family, but we can meet once or twice a year and catch up.
That we have strong relationship.
27:10
It's very reassuring to talk to them in the kitchen.
Yeah.
I remember when I was little, I got along with my cousin in the family.
And when I went there, I got a New Year's gift.
When I was a kid.
Like how to make Udon.
Yeah.
It's a good thing for this issue.
Divide work task.
That we need to discuss more.
Before your parents or your grandma or grandpa die, they need to make rules.
Yeah.
Definitely.
It's all pros and cons.
Kids can't see this reality when become the adult.
Yeah.
30:03
Fighting against siblings, it's kind of contagious to kids.
Yeah.
Like my generation.
Yeah.
It becomes difficult to talk to my cousin because their parents are fighting each other.
It's like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Just like that.
I think there are people who experience that.
It's difficult to get along with them.
Because you can only see each other in the family.
You are separated from your family.
You don't know who to talk to.
You don't know who is who's child.
You get divorced.
You don't know who is who's wife.
You don't know what to do.
Yeah.
But you can't solve this problem right away.
Because we belong to Buddha anyways.
Yeah.
So I think it's a job that parents should decide for their kids.
While they are healthy.
Yeah.
Just like Americans.
Leave a contract or a contract.
It goes to you.
And divide equally to your siblings.
I think that's a good idea.
Yeah.
Okinawan people are lazy to do those specific things.
I think it's like culture.
If you have a family issue, you need to take care of it before it happens.
Like that.
So I think it's important to talk to your family about inheritance.
In your resume.
Yeah.
I said that in my resume.
I think that's true.
It depends on the family.
Who has money.
Who can afford it.
It also depends on your personality.
Yeah.
So you need to talk to your parents about it.
I don't think there is such a thing.
Yeah.
If you decide that your son can't have children,
you don't even have a chance to talk about it.
Yeah.
And from a millennial generation like us,
it's all about diversity.
Yeah.
33:00
I was just talking about this,
but I don't think it's about gender equality.
It's not that simple.
There are a lot of people in Okinawa who have 4 or 5 siblings.
I don't think it's about how to divide them.
I don't think it's about what to do with your partner.
Yeah.
I think it's about getting married to a more religious family.
I think it's about getting married to someone who isn't religious.
In conversations,
when you have a boyfriend,
and my friend asks me if he is an eldest boy or not.
Like, if he's an only child or not.
People react like that.
Like, it's hard to have a eldest son.
I don't want to marry an eldest son.
I think it's about getting rid of that.
Being an eldest son is not my choice.
And it's not his choice.
Just being an eldest daughter or son,
they already have a lot of pressure
without any religious.
Because they are the eldest.
But they put more rules because they are the eldest.
It's just not fair.
I think their marriage and career
depends on their position.
I think it changes a lot.
I used to live abroad.
I need to inherit your tomb.
I need to think about it and come back.
Because I'm an only child.
I think it's possible.
I think it's possible outside of Okinawa.
Yeah.
But I think it's okay to be more free.
Yeah.
I think it's a very unique culture.
Recently, in the south,
there are a lot of tombs in parks.
Yeah.
It's increasing.
What do you think about it?
Park, tomb.
I think it's gonna be more tomb
or small grave in a specific one place.
Because Okinawan tomb is too big
for the one family.
People are coming to Okinawa
and live from mainland, overseas.
We technically won't have enough land.
It's all membership system.
Anybody cannot go into the tomb
whatever they want to be in.
36:07
It's increasing.
I don't think it's a bad thing.
If you die,
it's not about going into a big grave.
I think it's important to be buried properly.
Yeah.
That's what I think.
But I think it's better not to be isolated.
In my opinion.
It's rich.
I want to go into my parents' grave.
It's big.
I always see it.
I've known it for a long time.
If I can raise my hand,
I'll go to my parents' tomb.
But I can't.
If I become single,
Break the rule.
If you break the rule,
you can't go into your parents' grave.
If you become single,
you can't go into your parents' grave.
If you get married,
you can't go into your parents' grave.
You can negotiate with your parents.
Wait.
If I get married,
I can go into my parents' grave.
Come together to our tomb.
Is there such a rule?
Can I go into my parents' grave?
I think you can.
Really?
Communication with my family.
If they're okay, then it's okay.
But he has to be single.
So I have to go into my parents' grave.
I'll be single for a year.
It depends on your parents, I think.
I'll decide after they pass away.
I'll negotiate with my parents after they pass away.
I'll say,
Listen to me.
I'll say,
I'll go into my parents' grave.
Please take care of me.
After that,
if I have a stomachache,
I'll think about it.
Or you can create your own tomb.
Minami tomb.
Is it okay to do that?
But if there's no one to go into your parents' grave,
it's called Eitai Kuyo.
It's a return.
Henno?
I'm sorry. I don't know Japanese.
What?
The one that goes into the sea?
No, it's not Eitai Kuyo.
It's a grave system company.
It's a company that donates the graves.
They give it to you and you do something with it.
Like saying goodbye.
39:01
In Japan,
there are small graves in small houses.
You can make offerings.
Like, your father passed away.
I think it'll be like that in the future.
If you want to do it, do it.
You know,
in the driver's license,
there's a part where you have to decide what to do with your own grave.
I want you to put in what you're going to do with your own grave.
So you have a choice before you die.
Like, I have a choice?
Yeah.
Do I need permission from my family?
You can put in a family check.
Like your parents.
Like that.
No?
I don't know. It's hard.
As you get older, your thinking changes.
I hope you can rest easy.
I hope you don't get sad.
I'll cheer you up.
Wait, wait.
You're going to die first?
I don't know.
So if you die first, you'll be 149 years old.
And Akane, you'll be 150 years old.
Party.
Do a party event.
Yeah.
Is there a song you want me to play?
You know,
I don't want to think about when I die,
but I need to prepare anytime.
As soon as you're born, you need to think about when you die.
As soon as you're born?
I want to be more specific about what I want to do when I die.
I know.
I don't mean I'm going to die,
but who knows.
I drive every day, and I have risks anytime.
So I want to study about taxes and insurance,
and think about what to do when I die.
I want to make time for my lectures.
How I want to die.
No, not how.
My English is weird.
I want to know what people think about me when I die.
How you want to be taken care of when you die.
Or how other people think about me when I die.
42:06
I'm sorry.
It's an English expression.
I want to know what kind of person I want to be when I die.
I want to know what people think about me when I die.
I want people to think I'm a very kind person.
I want to be that kind of person when I die.
I think that kind of imagination is a good thing.
It's not about getting ready to die.
It's about imagining the best version of yourself.
I think that's a good thing.
Hey, Naka-san.
I'm still thinking about how to escape from a war.
It's okay.
A natural disaster is more likely to come than a war.
What are you going back to?
What are you crazy to think?
It's a modern era war.
First, you need to keep your eyes on the currency rate.
Then it's going to have an impact on the things you buy.
If you're investing, you know what your assets are going to be like.
You should look at that.
I don't think there's anything like an escape route.
I just want to think there isn't.
I don't know what's going to happen.
I don't know what's going to happen.
I'm someone who doesn't know about Okinawan tomb.
The shape of meaning.
I think my English is going to be broken.
It has meaning.
Meaning is what is expressed in their shape.
Kameko means a turtle back.
There is a middle part where people put their bones.
Why are you laughing?
It's a shape of vagina.
It means people pass away going back to where they are from.
It's a grave that wants to go back to a woman.
In the end, everyone likes women.
45:04
A turtle back too.
One of my American friends asked me why Okinawan tombs are so big.
I did a lot of research.
I wondered why they were digging in the mountains.
In the past, Okinawans used to bury their dead bodies in the ground.
So I thought it would be better to dig in the mountains.
I was like, wow, I didn't know that.
That's why Okinawan tombs are mysterious.
There is a big one in the middle of the base.
Interesting.
I like the unique shape.
So if we go to Taiwan, we can see a similar tomb?
I think so.
Because the shape is from Taiwan and China.
Do they see me as well?
She and me is tomb picnic.
Maybe it's not picnic, but maybe they do.
I don't know if they do picnic.
Because Okinawans have a lot of tombs, maybe they just do picnic.
Oh, I see.
No, it's just your imagination.
If they gather in front of a grave and do something, it means they come from there.
I think Taiwanese people like partying too.
Because they invited 300 people for wedding too.
It's really similar culture.
Because we are close together, I think.
Okinawa has big influence from China, especially Taiwan.
I mean, China and Taiwan is different, but we used to be together.
I think Okinawans, regardless of gender, have partners.
I think we should talk about this.
I think so too.
We don't know if they have a partner or not.
But even if they don't know, they will definitely ask you.
After you get married, your step parents will ask you
and they will force you to do all the things.
I think so.
I think that's why Okinawans feel safe when they get married to Okinawans.
48:03
I think so too.
Because they have a basic understanding.
They don't need to explain everything.
And their parents also understand them.
I think we can see the future of Okinawans and Okinawans getting married until their children die.
I don't think it's about the individual.
I don't think it's about the individual.
I think it's about the individual.
I agree.
I think it's about the individual.
My husband and my mom have an altar at our house.
And we have obon, shimei, and everything.
They teach me how to make obon rice and how to make it at the market.
They teach me how to make it at the market.
Because I take care of them.
I'm willing to learn everything as an Okinawan culture.
But if I'm from mainland Japan, I think I don't want to do this.
It's too much work.
It's too heavy.
I think so.
I think there will be a culture shock.
I have a son.
Akane's mom has an altar.
Is it a family trait to be popular even though you're a woman?
I'm an only child.
Because your parents said yes?
I think so.
I still live at my parents' house.
I see.
I see.
I think they didn't have so much choice.
But she married an American guy.
So she is doing everything by herself.
I don't care about my husband.
I sometimes tease him.
Even though he's a Christian.
But I like CM.
What was his name?
Uchikabe?
I think he's having fun doing that.
I always take a picture and post it on Facebook.
And send it to American family.
Let's do something fun.
51:05
Yeah.
I love Minami.
But sometimes I feel bad when I can see my mom's work.
For example, when I see my friend's work.
I used to do something with Minami's friends.
What did you do?
She usually cooks for us.
But she doesn't do all the housework.
Mom tends to have a big responsibility in the family.
Mom has to take care of all the kitchen things and household things.
It depends on moms.
But most of moms in Okinawa have a responsible feeling.
It's like Showa.
I think it's influenced by the culture of the Buddha.
I think it's a stereotype.
A lot of people have it.
What do you think?
How can I say?
It's not like, do the old things.
How can I say?
It's like, do what you want to do.
If there's no one to do it, everyone will be lonely.
I agree.
It's a bit different from what I think.
I don't think so.
It doesn't matter who you are.
It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman.
Cooking, rent, living alone.
Everyone should do it first.
But we have no choice but to do it.
If you take care of everything by yourself, you don't have to rely on women.
Women don't have to rely on men.
If you don't rely on men, the argument will continue for the rest of your life.
That's why raising women's values is important.
It's not like, housework equals women.
54:04
It's not about making money equals men.
It's better if everyone can do it.
It doesn't have to be perfect.
You can live alone.
If you experience it and get married, you don't have to do things you're not supposed to do.
If a man can do it by himself, he doesn't have to do it.
If a woman makes money by herself, she can't live economically if she breaks up with him.
She can't get a divorce.
You don't have to worry about that.
Everyone is independent.
Sorry, Okinawans.
Let's go out.
Let's go out at least once.
You can feel grateful.
We've been living together for 6 months now.
It's so safe.
It's easy to die.
It's fun.
But you can't do it forever.
Your parents will die someday.
Right.
I think it's better to establish your own style in your life.
So, today we talked about totome.
Today we talked about totome.
Totome is a tradition that is passed down from generation to generation.
But nowadays, even if a woman does it, there is less resistance.
And by doing totome, there are problems with family, financial burden, and many other problems.
In addition to that, there are many problems related to family.
The totome culture in Okinawa has a lot of influence.
I think it's better for women and men to be more independent and move freely in the world.
But I think it's better to value family events.
I think it's better for women and men to be more independent and move freely in the world.
Let's talk to your family.
Yes.
That's all for today.
Bye bye.
