第5609回 EN Dysfunctional Family Life

このエピソードは思考整理のための独り語りです。メンタルヘルスや発達特性を背景に、日常の悩 みや感情をそのまま話しています。聞き流しても問題ありません。

 This episode is a personal audio journal on daily struggles, mental health, andneurodiversity. It is meant to be listened to casually in the background.

このポッドキャストは、生きづらさ・メンタルヘルス・家庭問題を中心に、 日常で起きる出来事や思考を、感情を煽らず淡々と語る雑談ポッドキャストです。親子関係の衝突、家庭内トラブル、機能不全家族。 「普通」や「当たり前」とされる家族像や会話が成立しない現実を扱います。 発達障害（ASD / ADHD）、うつ病、双極性障害、不安障害、社会不安、幸福恐怖、強迫性障害（OCD）。 個人の特性と、家庭・社会環境が噛み合わないことで生じる問題を取り上げます。 宗教二世として育った経験から、 オカルトやスピリチュアルを信じて自分を誤魔化しながら生きることができない感覚についても語ります。 物事を都合よく解釈して安心することができず、 現実をそのまま見てしまうことによる生きづらさを扱います。 長期間の引きこもり、無職、就職活動の失敗、働けない現実。社会復帰の難しさや、将来への不安を、理想論ではなく事実として話します。 難病である潰瘍性大腸炎の可能性を抱えながら、 引きこもり状態のため十分な治療に繋がれない状況と、体調不安が日常生活に与える影響についても触れます。 人間関係のトラウマや、 新たなトラウマを作らないために距離を取るという選択。 人と関わる必要性を理解しつつも、発達障害が理解されにくい現実の中での葛藤を語ります。 哲学やニヒリズムを背景に、 存在の意味を求めるのではなく、 世の中を都合よく解釈する考え方そのものへの違和感や、人の思考の矛盾、浅はかさをスピリチュアルに逃げず考察します。 前向きさや希望を押し付ける番組ではありません。 答えを出すこともしません。 メンタルヘルス、発達障害、家庭問題、生きづらさを抱える人に向けた、静かで重めのトーク番組です。

This podcast focuses on mental health, neurodiversity, and family issues, discussed calmly and without emotional exaggeration. It covers parent-child conflict, dysfunctionalfamilies, and situations where so-called “normal” family dynamics do not work.Topics include ASD / ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders,social anxiety, fear of happiness, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),exploring how personal traits clash with family and social environments.Growing up in a religious household, I talk about the inability to rely on occult or spiritual beliefs to comfort or deceive myself, and the difficulty of facing reality without convenient explanations. The podcast addresses long-term social withdrawal, unemployment, failed job searches, and the realistic difficulty of returning to society. I also discuss the possibility of living with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness, while being unable to access proper treatment due to isolation, and how physical uncertainty affects daily life.Human relationships and trauma, choosing distance to avoid creating new wounds, and the struggle of living in a society where neurodiversity is rarely understood are recurring themes. Rather than seeking meaning, this podcastexamines how people conveniently interpret reality, the contradictions in human thinking, and social absurdities — without spiritual escape or comforting narratives. No self-help. No optimism. No answers. A quiet, heavy podcast forthose dealing with mental health issues, neurodiversity, family conflict, and the difficulty of living in reality as it is.

00:00

私は、実際に語る生きづらさと家庭の考察について、簡単に説明します。

from japan with real words

Hello, welcome to my podcast. This is a podcastwhere I talk calmly about life struggles andfamily issues.

First of all, I told Yocan, the sweet potato tempura was different.

It was different, but later she said it was hot.The tempura was soft with the skin.

After a while, about 5 minutes later, she said itwas different. Too late.

She could realize earlier. She should noticesooner.

At the job experience in my school days, everyonein my group was strange.

I said hello, but I still think about what Ishould say.

There are only people I didn't know. I greetedthem, but I kept imagining better way to talk tothem.

At the job experience, everyone in my group wasstrange. I said hello, but I still think aboutwhat I should say.

There are only people I didn't know. I greetedthem, but I kept imagining better way to talk tothem.

Next, I can remember hard words one by one, but I'm on a podcast in English.

Learning every difficult word is impossible forme, but I still want to do a podcast in English.

03:06

I'm not sure. Next. Next is easy philosophy. Wethink we decide to move.

We decide to move, but the brain starts first.

Are you okay? But the brain starts first. It feelslike we choose our action.

We choose our action, but the brain is alreadyhead.

In other words, humans are like a narrator whocommentates on our lives.

A person is similar to a narrator who isconstantly commentating.

Next, I thought the afternoon would be hard.

But yesterday I thought the afternoon would behard.

I should record on podcast in English, but itended early.

It ended early, and I didn't know what to do.

When I suddenly have free time, I get confused andregret things.

I thought the afternoon would be hard, but itended early, and I didn't know what to do.

When I suddenly have free time, I get confused andregret things.

If something unusual is in the kitchen, I can'tstop noticing it.

Things that aren't usually there really bother me.

Things that aren't usually there really bother me.

Yesterday, there was something in the kitchen thatisn't usually there.

06:01

It caught my attention.

There was a cleaning product in the bathroom thatI'd never seen before.

It caught my attention.

Next is my philosophy.

If you have a child, I feel like all her wife'sattention will go to the child.

Sometimes I think just the two of us is better.

If you have a child, I feel like all her wife'sattention will go to the child.

Sometimes I think just the two of us is better.

Next, slot machines are just pushing buttons.

It's mostly luck.

I've always wondered what's so fun about partyslots or gambling.

Since all they do is press a button, when I lookinto it, I realize all of it is basically superstition.

People seem to blindly believe in it.

People seem to blindly believe in it.

Even though they are guaranteed to lose in thelong run.

Even though they are guaranteed to lose in thelong run.

But they keep dreaming anyway.

I said I could understand it.

But I think people are drawn to things where luckdecides the outcome.

Baseball, basketball, those sports also haveelements of luck.

In fact, many things people enjoy are mostlydetermined by luck.

I think people are drawn to things where luckdecides the outcome.

09:01

Baseball, basketball, those sports also haveelements of luck.

Next, I don't have symptoms lately.

I don't have stomachache lately.

So I worry if it's really a serious illness.

I think I have a serious illness.

Even though hospitalization is decided, because Ithought I have a serious illness.

Even though hospitalization is decided, I'm scaredabout the future.

I don't have symptoms lately.

So I worry if it's really a serious illness.

Even though hospitalization is decided, I'm scaredabout the future.

I used to feel depressed every day.

After refusing, my parents refused to be refused.

I was admitted to a hospital.

I had no choice.

I had no choice but to say harsh things to myparents who wouldn't keep their promise to help medecide my future path.

They don't keep their promise to decide my futurepath.

So I used to feel depressed every day.

My parents refused that.

I was admitted to a hospital.

They promise to decide my future.

But they don't keep their promise to help medecide my future path.

Next, I couldn't sleep probably because I napped.

When I sleep from break, it stressed me out a lot.

12:08

Next, I've been fooled by TV before.

So I don't trust podcasts because of fake stuff.

I doubt what's here now.

Next is HIKIMESHI corner.

Yesterday, I had tempura.

It involved liquid.

My favorite thing.

Tempura, of course, it's amazing.

But it's more amazing.

Thank you for listening.

Please follow this program.

See you again.