第5532回 EN Anxiety and Depression Long-term Reclusion

このエピソードは思考整理のための独り語りです。メンタルヘルスや発達特性を背景に、日常の悩 みや感情をそのまま話しています。聞き流しても問題ありません。

 This episode is a personal audio journal on daily struggles, mental health, andneurodiversity. It is meant to be listened to casually in the background.

このポッドキャストは、生きづらさ・メンタルヘルス・家庭問題を中心に、 日常で起きる出来事や思考を、感情を煽らず淡々と語る雑談ポッドキャストです。親子関係の衝突、家庭内トラブル、機能不全家族。 「普通」や「当たり前」とされる家族像や会話が成立しない現実を扱います。 発達障害（ASD / ADHD）、うつ病、双極性障害、不安障害、社会不安、幸福恐怖、強迫性障害（OCD）。 個人の特性と、家庭・社会環境が噛み合わないことで生じる問題を取り上げます。 宗教二世として育った経験から、 オカルトやスピリチュアルを信じて自分を誤魔化しながら生きることができない感覚についても語ります。 物事を都合よく解釈して安心することができず、 現実をそのまま見てしまうことによる生きづらさを扱います。 長期間の引きこもり、無職、就職活動の失敗、働けない現実。社会復帰の難しさや、将来への不安を、理想論ではなく事実として話します。 難病である潰瘍性大腸炎の可能性を抱えながら、 引きこもり状態のため十分な治療に繋がれない状況と、体調不安が日常生活に与える影響についても触れます。 人間関係のトラウマや、 新たなトラウマを作らないために距離を取るという選択。 人と関わる必要性を理解しつつも、発達障害が理解されにくい現実の中での葛藤を語ります。 哲学やニヒリズムを背景に、 存在の意味を求めるのではなく、 世の中を都合よく解釈する考え方そのものへの違和感や、人の思考の矛盾、浅はかさをスピリチュアルに逃げず考察します。 前向きさや希望を押し付ける番組ではありません。 答えを出すこともしません。 メンタルヘルス、発達障害、家庭問題、生きづらさを抱える人に向けた、静かで重めのトーク番組です。

This podcast focuses on mental health, neurodiversity, and family issues, discussed calmly and without emotional exaggeration. It covers parent-child conflict, dysfunctionalfamilies, and situations where so-called “normal” family dynamics do not work.Topics include ASD / ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders,social anxiety, fear of happiness, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),exploring how personal traits clash with family and social environments.Growing up in a religious household, I talk about the inability to rely on occult or spiritual beliefs to comfort or deceive myself, and the difficulty of facing reality without convenient explanations. The podcast addresses long-term social withdrawal, unemployment, failed job searches, and the realistic difficulty of returning to society. I also discuss the possibility of living with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness, while being unable to access proper treatment due to isolation, and how physical uncertainty affects daily life.Human relationships and trauma, choosing distance to avoid creating new wounds, and the struggle of living in a society where neurodiversity is rarely understood are recurring themes. Rather than seeking meaning, this podcastexamines how people conveniently interpret reality, the contradictions in human thinking, and social absurdities — without spiritual escape or comforting narratives. No self-help. No optimism. No answers. A quiet, heavy podcast forthose dealing with mental health issues, neurodiversity, family conflict, and the difficulty of living in reality as it is.

サマリー

このエピソードでは、神経多様性、孤独感、社会的な切断について考察され、精神的健康の課題が取り上げられています。宗教を20年間続けてきたが辞めたことや、食事の選択に伴う感情的な苦悩が語られています。また、長期的な閉じこもりが引き起こす不安や抑うつの影響について考察され、哲学的な視点から自己の特性や生活の変化に焦点が当てられています。第5532回では、長期的な引きこもりがもたらす不安と抑うつについて考察され、日常生活や緊急事態への不安が取り上げられています。

神経多様性と孤独

Hello and welcome to my podcast. This podcast calmly discusses daily struggles, mental health, and family conflicts.

I share that on neurodiversity, isolation, social disconnection, and life has some navigating unique challenges. Daily life, emotions, and reflections are shared as they are.

First corner, today's incident. After all, I realized I'm a bad luck person. I made a mistake. That was a problem.

But few minutes later, I found it's not problem. But eventually, I also made a mistake. I focus on other thing. So I regret it.

But I try not to regret anymore. Next, I had a dream. Of course, when I was sleeping. The person who took care of me when I was a child appeared in the dream.

The day after yesterday, also appeared. He appeared in the dream. I said him that. In the dream, I thought he misunderstand. It's relative to reality.

But 10 years ago, it was 10 years ago. I said in the dream. In the dream, I exchanged a mail address.

I said I quit religion that I have been joining for 20 years.

But I exchanged the email address. In this world, there's no reason.

Next, I forgot to mention this. As I said previous episode, I don't know why but she served Shichu as a dinner.

I asked her not to serve Shichu.

But the day before yesterday, I told her one more time.

So she had it for lunch. And I had tofu for the lunch.

Shichu smells good but it's bad for me.

Sweet good taste smells. It's too bad for me. Because I can't eat it.

And yesterday, Christmas. But there was less than usual. Less dishes.

So I thought this reason. As I said, he made a mistake. That was reason.

There was chicken but that chicken was made in the supermarket and was good taste.

I found this is a good taste but nearby is noisy.

As I said, I'm sensitive to loud sound. So it's on my mind. So I couldn't focus on.

Next corner is mental and struggles.

Obviously, I don't have ability of art. For example, music.

不安と抑うつの影響

Recently, I made music. I use chat GPT and AI.

I made music. I've been making music.

But I think I waste a lot of time. And I would waste a lot of time in the future.

So sometimes I throw away music.

And this time, I start to write music.

Next, I'm neurodiversity. But I don't always forget.

I forget something. Never forget something.

But I focus on something too much.

So I can't reflect and I don't find something because I focus on one thing.

Maybe it's a problem.

Next, it's my characteristic. It's also a problem.

This involves a lot of problems.

I save money and I have tofu.

But I've lost a truck. Why?

I've lost a truck. Why?

But I realize. If I become free, there is probably no limit.

So I can't save money.

So I'm anxious about this thing or other something.

That's why I save money.

Next. Next corner is philosophy.

I think a moment breaks my life.

Actually, sometimes it's about this thing.

For example, I make a mistake.

I shouldn't create an opening.

But this thing helped me.

This thing has helped me.

I try not to create an opening.

It helped me. It has helped me.

Next.

不安と引きこもり

I have been anxious about emergency.

I have been anxious about everyday emergency.

For example, when a parent has a problem.

If I go out, I don't know where a kid or something.

It's true.

I'm anxious about a lot of things.

Next.

Yesterday.

Next corner is Hikimechu.

Yesterday, I had chicken.

Layu.

It's Chinese.

Anything else?

It's Chinese seasoning.

It was good flavor.

Thank you for watching.

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See you again.