00:00
Welcome to my podcast.
I haven't gone outside in over 15 years. Nocommute, no boat.
Still somehow fully equipped with problems.
Currently offline.
Friends out of stock.
So this show is just daily life.
Long term HIKIKOMORI mode.
Battlefield fighting alone.
Every single day.
No one sees it.
But I keep going.
Slow is fine.
Stopping is fine.
Just move forward.
HIKIKOMORI HERO still standing.
This is just a podcast.
Before I get to what I wanted to talk about first.
Something else came up that I need to talk about.
So I want to start with that.
There haven't been a lot of change lately with thepodcast.
It's important stuff.
But I forget what kind of change there were.
And what change I was trying to make.
And I've been trying to remember since yesterday.
Yesterday morning things weren't going well.
Lately with the English episode.
And I said I'd try to get it sorted.
And I found a good way.
And push it to the afternoon.
But in the end that didn't work out either.
And it just didn't get done.
At night.
After getting into bed it was tough.
This kind of thing has been happening a lotlately.
Homework rests over from the evening.
First I couldn't do what I wanted with a suddentool.
By that point 30 minutes had already passed.
Next I tried a different way.
But that didn't work either.
But I quickly looked for the next option.
And that is through.
Squeezing out whatever idea I had.
And the focus I had at times like that is reallysomething.
03:05
It's like I turned into a samurai or something.
I zero in on one thing completely.
And I often get a kind of mental fever fromthinking too hard.
Also I was looking back on what I was stuck onjust doing that in the afternoon.
Took up a bunch of time.
But that's fine.
So what did I try anyway?
This is where it gets the hardest.
Even though it was a short time.
It was really stressful.
What was it again?
Well before that I realized.
I didn't even need to use that tool method.
I realized it.
But this is my usual habit.
And my usual way of thinking.
Having just one way to do something makes meanxious.
And I start thinking about the future.
I get caught up in the worry and end up lookingthings up.
And from there it got tough.
Things weren't going well for a while.
Then it worked.
About two hours later.
And then what happened next?
Nothing really changed.
But one thing came up.
I'd already figured out that the old way wasworking fine.
Up until then I was really anxious.
I'd been talking about this lately.
There was a small issue.
But it ended up being okay.
I finally felt relieved.
So that should have been enough.
But then I had this feeling of why was I evenlooking into this just now.
Looking at it that way.
Yeah, that makes sense.
There was no real need to look for different wordsright at the point.
So I guess everything really does have many sidesto it.
In an English study book I used to use a long timeago.
06:04
One that had 700 sample sentences.
There was a line written there that said.
Things have many sides.
And I finally understood what it meant.
Back in high school I was very aware of it.
Things really do have many sides to them.
But I didn't really get it back then.
Anyway, I found a way to do it.
Then I went to sleep.
Then I woke up.
And with that same method.
Maybe I was just bad with technology.
I don't know.
But I was doing the exact same thing.
And it just wouldn't work.
This kind of thing happened many times in the pasttoo.
It's not even a person I'm dealing with.
It's a machine.
But I still felt frustrated.
And at times like this I just can't back down.
Back down.
So I spent hours from morning trying to figure itout.
And kept looking into it in the morning too.
It ended up working.
But I still don't know why.
And guess what happened when it worked.
When it worked I realized.
Probably didn't need to be able to do this at all.
Because there's already another way to do it.
Right.
There are multiple options.
But it's a bit of a pain.
Still thinking about the future.
I realized I didn't need to look into it.
This far.
Since there's already another way.
But then I went and looked into it anyway.
And again it took more time.
And then I realized yet again.
And another way would have been fine too.
But then I went and kept looking.
And just when I got it working.
I'm serious about this.
Again.
I'm not sure if I realized it at the moment.
Or if I remember that the other way was fine.
I can't quite remember.
But that kind of thing happened 5 or 6 timesyesterday.
It was really bad.
09:01
I'm surprised at myself.
Such bad things every time.
Just when I thought I'd finally found a good way.
My mind would shift to thinking the other way wasfine.
Or I'd realize there was yet another option.
Or I'd realize I didn't need such a complicatedmethod at all.
It was a lot.
Then today in the morning.
I recorded an English episode for the first timein a while.
And I'm always saying I'm strict and careful abouthow I do things.
But the truth is everything.
Everything I've tried and failed at has never beensomething I was truly forcing.
So it's more than just being strict.
There are some other meanings to it.
And I try not to repeat mistakes.
OK.Next topic.
What's the point of me talking on this podcast?
I was thinking.
Besides helping people who are shut in and helpingpeople understand what it means to be shut in.
What else is there?
I noticed a few things.
But it's a shame because the show description wasjust finalized recently.
And if things change a little again.
That's kind of annoying.
But first of all.
Before I was thinking.
Maybe because I'm so cut off from people.
I want to prove that I exist.
So maybe it's an act of putting my existence outinto the world.
And also I think there are people out there whorealize through this.
That they're not the only one who's this lonely.
At moments like that.
It becomes a little easier.
Because those kind of people are really deeplylonely.
Loneliness seems simple.
But has a meaning that goes finally deep.
I feel that myself and from my own experience.
There are moments when that suddenly lifts and youfeel a little lighter.
And also people who feel lonely often can put itinto words.
Or don't know what kind of feeling it is.
And there are so many people like that around theworld.
12:02
By me talking like this.
They might feel like it's close to what they feeland realize something.
It becomes like a mirror.
It means speaking for them.
Speaking for lonely people.
Okay next topic.
I was gonna talk about this first.
No that's not right.
What I wanted to talk about first.
I still can't get to end.
What I was going to say after that.
It's not like I'm trying to build suspense oranything.
I really wanted to talk about this.
But today watching the WBC.
It was clearly already this moment.
And yet this person is chewing gum.
Well good for them I guess.
But honestly at this level of being relaxed evenin a moment like this.
Maybe even too relaxed.
It seems like the people who are more like thattend to be the one who succeed.
Objectively speaking.
Japanese people are probably not great at thatneedlessly so.
Getting tense.
Yeah I think about this when watching the WorldAthletics or the Olympics too.
Like at the one year mark moment.
Standing at the starting line.
And doing the little performance for the camera.
These people who look almost too relaxed at themoment tend to do better.
And the one who are stiff and tense tend to not dowell.
But for me putting too much energy into theperformance would probably break my focus instead.
The right balance really matters.
Japanese people seem rational.
But in this area they are not.
They are not.
And other people aren't necessarily trying to berational.
But they end up the way.
Or they just naturally know how much tension isthe right amount.
Either way.
People like that tend to win.
Watching baseball after some scores.
Everyone piles on each other.
15:05
I thought all the dirt must get rubbed off.
So they probably don't even need a bath.
But Venezuela and America bath looks so cool.
And I find myself thinking about maybe I wasAmerican in a past life.
By the way what I actually most wanted to talkabout starts here.
My bed might have been a computer in a past life.
My heater might have been a bed in a past life.
That's kind of feeling.
And my right arm might have been an African personin a past life.
And my right thumb might have been carbon dioxidein a past life.
People who've been listening for a while probablyalready know where this is going.
The sarcasm is starting again.
Isn't it kind of strange to talk about what's yourpast life was?
The human tendency to say that things in terms ofpeople is convenient.
Like that.
So anything goes there right.
Thinking about what's your hair will be in thenext life.
Like maybe a giraffe is pretty pointless.
There's actually philosophical debate aboutwhether a hair that's already been cut is stillyou.
So then is a cut now still you?
That sounds obviously not right.
This kind of strict tricky question.
Even back in the elementary or middle school Iprobably thought it was done.
But as I adult and thinking as it's more I realizeit was just my own assumption.
If cut hair isn't you then what about before itwas cut?
Hair doesn't feel pain or itchy.
So it is you.
Maybe it's not.
So then it's something you because it's feel painor itchy.
And hair change so it's not you.
If that's the case cells replace themselves everythree months.
So by that logic you are no longer you.
So going back to what I was saying.
Asking what's your past life was.
18:03
It's pretty silly.
I'll stop with sarcasm here.
Even if I owe this to someone who really believein past life.
I don't think they'd rather to it.
So I'll leave the sarcasm here.
But the reason I wanna make a point of the truedecision is.
Probably because I grew up in the religion.
People who grew up in the religion probably wannalet out all kind of feelings like this.
By the way my relative.
They first generation in the religion or second.
First generation I think.
And I'm second generation.
Nothing to be proud of.
If there's anything to be proud of.
Maybe it's that I put up with.
It's for 20 years.
No certificate is given for that.
It's nothing but something to be embarrassedabout.
Embarrassing.
I'll stop with sarcasm here.
Speaking of which.
My dad said.
After visiting a grave.
Visiting grave doesn't really mean anything.
I doubt.
What we do in our religion is pretty much the samekind of thing.
It's pretty silly, isn't it?
It would be silly if he wasn't putting down otherreligion.
It is silly.
But putting down other religion is a bit much Ithink.
Because making fun of other religion is prettysilly.
Since you are doing pretty much the same thing inyour own religion.
Speaking of which.
There's something connected to what I just said.
Even if a person feels like something has nomeaning.
The feeling you get from doing it.
The feeling can be created without actually doingit.
It seems like it could be.
But it can't.
If that's the case.
Even something that seems pointless.
Might actually be worth doing.
The reason I think is.
The reason I'm thinking this now is that.
People don't act because they are first consciousof something.
When a person is about to do something.
They are already getting ready to do it.
21:02
That's just how people are.
They just don't realize it.
The body is already getting ready to do theaction.
Normally you don't think it's the other way aroundright?
People are aware of something.
Decide they wanna do it.
And then do it.
But that's not how it work.
After the action.
They just come up with a reason for it after theact.
That's really just an idea isn't it?
The idea that I did this because I decided to.
That's all it is.
It's kinda amazing.
It almost feels like time travel is happening.
Which means from that way of thinking.
From the theory.
How do I put it this.
For example in my case.
For this action.
There's this kind of drive.
This kind of mindset.
That pattern exist.
And if that become a habit.
Then actually what I'm gonna do was alreadydecided long before.
And just before an action.
People feel like they deciding to do something.
But the time leading up to the action is also partof the action.
How do I put that.
Thinking about it that way.
It makes sense in a way.
That Ichiro does the same routine every singleday.
And when that break down.
The whole thing tend to break down too.
That kind of makes sense.
And I realize this through eating again.
If I try to make even a small change.
It's always had a bad effect.
Affect on what comes after.
Maybe it's because the rhythm break.
For other people.
It would be a much bigger change.
In terms of time.
It might be a change that takes a month or a year.
It might be meeting someone they haven't seen in awhile.
For me.
The things becoming a shut-in.
It's happened on a second by second level.
Things change at that scale.
So rather than awareness coming first and thenaction.
Like with visiting a grave.
24:00
If there's something that move you emotionally.
It's not so much that you go visit the gravebecause of that feeling.
But rather the habit and rhythm.
Going or gonna visit.
Naturally bring out a feeling of thankfulness.
So that action really does change how you feel.
So strongly going by what I just said.
It might seem like as long as you feel thankful.
You don't need to visit the grave.
But actually you do need to go.
Something that seems like a pointless action.
Might not actually be necessary.
I think that's true.
So it would be better if you didn't need it.
So I can think out where I can.
Last topic for now.
There's a sudden host of a show.
And I didn't know at the time that.
There were new announcer.
They didn't appear on TV that much.
And when I looked into app.
It was such a surprise.
They were originally an NHK announcer.
Whether it was head hunting or not.
It was rhythm or contract.
And they became a Fuji TV announcer.
I never heard of anything like that before.
Even if someone goes freelance.
Moving to another network.
I've never heard of that.
For me going from NHK to Fuji TV.
The salary probably wouldn't become 20 timeshigher.
But it became 2 times or 3 times.
They might go.
From NHK to Fuji TV.
Let me stop talking about it.
I shouldn't have said that.
From NHK to certain network.
It's already out there.
So it's too late.
But I've gotten older.
So a little more than before.
I figure there's a lot going on behind the scenes.
But watching NHK announcers who went to freelance.
And they start appearing on other networksometimes.
27:00
They end up on such pointless shows.
And it's just so different.
I used to think what's the point.
But maybe there are ways for them to show theirpersonality.
Or maybe NHK felt too restrictive.
All kinds of things come to mind.
There are all kinds of things people want to do.
Or a place they want to be.
That makes sense.
But when a regular freelance announcer end updoing silly things on TV.
While they had a great career as NHK announcer.
And doing big shows.
There were things I couldn't watch there.
Like appearing on certain network.
And being put on some silly show.
But thinking about the money side of it.
Freelance is probably way better.
Since NHK pays pretty low.
It's basically a government job.
Going back to the topic.
Apparently they were popular on a morning NHK showtoo.
And I didn't know that.
I wonder if they have any regret.
It sounded like they got sick.
And they stopped appearing on TV.
That's a real surprise.
I thought they've been through so much.
I'd seen people go from NHK to freelance.
And appear in various things.
By the way.
Dragon Ball.
Which I loved.
Was Fuji TV that surprised me.
Quite a few things I liked were on Fuji TV.
But I'll leave this topic here.
Though honestly I didn't watch Fuji TV that much.
The idea that high income people watch this show.
And lower income people watch that one.
I'll stop there.
Recording in the evening now.
Again.
It's about a different podcast too.
It didn't work out.
But maybe it was a unnecessary thing to worryabout.
But I might need to change how I do things a bit.
I tried various things.
Also there was one thing I forgot to mention.
What was it again?
I think it was today.
30:01
Something about YouTube categories.
Was it a banner?
It was being posted to the video section.
Not the podcast section.
If it's not a problem then fine.
But I was looking into what to do about it.
That was also something I did in the morning.
Also my neck hurt.
At times like this.
It might be the start of the cold.
Or from looking down too much.
Or sleeping in a bad position.
I'm not sure which one.
But it might be a cold in a little worrying.
I can't think of another reason.
But this kind of sudden neck pain with no clearcause has happened before I think.
Also lately in winter.
My parents have been turning on the downstairsheater on their own.
And it feels like they are taking it easy on thecold.
I'm not sure though.
Well 3 years ago it was really bad.
So cold even going upstairs was scary.
Or was it 4 years ago?
From now as it gets summer.
There are noisy neighbors.
That's noisy old women.
It's not that time yet.
But just thinking about it is tiring.
But hopefully someday.
When the house was habit.
I'll be able to think of it as the right amount ofstress that helped me grow.
That would be nice.
But people are emotional creatures.
Even knowing that right now.
Noise is obviously something I hate.
Back in the school there were.
Someone who would talk badly about the teacher onpurpose.
Loud enough for the teacher to hear.
Think about the person themselves from about 5meters.
No 3 meters.
No 2 meters.
About 2 to 3 meters away.
And they'd say it while talking to me.
Looking back.
I wish I'd played along as a joke or something.
33:09
But what's the goal to look tough or to lookimpressive to other friends.
It's that kind of thinking behind it.
If so that's really small way of thinking.
If that's what someone wanna be seen asimpressive.
For I really think that's small.
If that's just what middle school is like.
I was listening to the podcast and there werethings that made me think.
So I wanna talk about them.
Before a certain YouTuber said that YouTuber whoput themselves down tend to get more popular.
And I don't feel too strongly about it either way.
But I do wonder if people are just creature whoenjoy looking down on other or judging other.
So maybe Japanese people are little less likethat.
And honestly my reaction is more like if that'show it is.
So American humor is apparently like that too.
Whether to put someone else down or put yourselfdown to be accepted.
Some people try to get close to others throughthat kind of back and forth.
People who go after others on social media do thesame kind of thing.
But I can't say I understand or enjoy that kind ofstuff much.
And while it makes sense to say that's just howpeople are built.
Having that through right after doesn't sit wellwith me.
Also the podcast I was listening to.
I was going back and forth on the whether to keepgoing.
Something especially hard to follow.
Like when I wanna fully understand the content.
It's only get about 80% of it.
I don't wanna listen 2 or 3 times.
But I probably wouldn't actually do that.
And I tend to go hot and cold on things quickly.
So which Nogizaka videos and especially radios.
This one is special and before I was gonna listento it twice.
But I probably wouldn't do that.
36:02
And I fall asleep anyway.
So I'm wondering whether I should keep listeningat all or stop.
Well I'll probably still listen but for thepodcast for now.
So I'll listen when I can.
Well right now I can do strength training anyway.
Also the cover art I was gonna write that I'vebeen shut in for 7 years.
And I wasn't planning to change that.
But now I'm not sure if that's right.
Also things like this happen in daily life.
Like the WBC it's already been 4 years since thelast one.
Or with Nogizaka it's already been that long sincethat time.
Thinking about it is painful.
Time feels fast in one way.
For me it goes by in a flash.
But in another way it also feels like it's stoppedrecording late at night.
Now it was rough.
I'll talk about what happened a bit after this.
But first there was something I forgot to mention.
And I forget what the topic was.
I explained something very detailed to my parents.
And 20 seconds later none of it had gottenthrough.
And they asked the exact same thing again.
Something I had just said 20 seconds before.
I said I already told you all of that.
And something very similar that just happened.
And the truth is while sleeping my hand wentinside my underwear.
And when I woke up I was shocked.
When I woke up I thought my right hand was stillinside my underwear.
But then I realized.
Wait.
It was my left hand area.
And it turned out that after putting my handinside my underwear.
While sleeping it came out.
And that meant the blanket had been touched too.
So that meant changing the cover and sheets andchanging clothes.
39:03
Something I hadn't done in a while.
I called my parents in the middle of the night.
This is the first time that this has ever happenedin my life.
And then that I mentioned earlier happened again.
I had told my parents to bring the summer sheetand pillow cover.
And they brought out the winter ones.
Well this went fine.
They just got confused.
But that happened.
After that was.
They said something that made so sense like.
That only the summer and so it must already beout.
When there's no room for mistake like this.
My parents just stopped trying to explain thingsproperly.
And this is fine.
But I told my parents I need the sheet and alsoget the tie.
And bring the cover for the blanket.
I told them to bring all of that.
I explained it in detail but they understood noneof it.
They asked who was supposed to bring the blanketcover.
And I think they asked whether the sheet was thewinter one.
I don't quite remember.
Things like that happened.
And then the cover what they brought was differentfrom what I had before.
And they said this is all there is.
I made sure to confirm that they really did washit properly.
And they said that anything in the drawer hasalways been washed.
That was clear.
But then why are there three covers to understand.
And three means there are reasons.
And the extra one must have been bought.
I don't think it's just a pair.
But I can figure out why.
And I was thinking about it.
Neither me nor my parents know.
Also today I changed the cover for the first timein a while.
And the way of doing was different.
And the time was different.
And at times like this when the routine breaks,
the checking I had to do afterwards is reallyhard.
And I wasn't sure if I'd be able to sleep tonight.
42:04
Also when the cover was being changed,
I didn't have the mental space to do the checkingproperly.
And I felt like I wasted time.
And there were also some unexpected things.
Like when the bottom of the blanket was touched,
my parents had to go wash their hands.
And they forgot to do that.
And I was worried my dad might wake up and comeout my mistake.
It was a lot.
Let me say it again.
Even during the day,
I had explained two or three things.
And everything had to be asked again or rather,
they just asked again completely from scratch.
And the exact same kind of things happened.
Either that I was having a moment of déjà vu.
Déjà vu would be better,
but the exact same kind of mistake happened withsomething different.
It was really shocking.
My old blanket cover was my favorite.
It's warm too, but what can you do?
Also before going to sleep,
I was having a strange daydream.
If I had a girlfriend and she went to university
and another guy asked her out,
and she came to me saying she wanted to break up.
What would be the best way to talk to her gently?
And the best line I came up with was,
Look, someone asked you out.
And that's why you are breaking up with me.
But a year from now,
it will be the same thing.
That person might break up with you too.
Maybe that would bring her back to her sense.
That's the kind of daydream I was having.
Also my left neck that I mentioned hurt.
And with everything that happened,
honestly it's a real pain now.
Recording this morning,
it's been tough since then.
Going through all the checks,
what kind of checking?
Well, in the middle of the night,
there's nothing usual.
And they're never changing seats in the middle ofthe night.
That changes whether things go as normal or not asnormal,
45:02
because of the change.
Is there anything that needs to be done?
Is there any trouble, problem?
Any problem?
Has something already gone wrong?
Those are the things I think through.
Although before that,
there's no point in thinking about that after.
The fact is that I still do it.
Maybe there's a need for it.
Was there any problem with how things went with myparents?
Was there anything important that was said?
And also with the cover and seats changed,
is there anything different about how I sleep?
Changing the seat over this time of year is notnormal either.
And also the routine for changing clothes wasdifferent.
So there are things that are different from usual.
Was that all fine?
And then going through from step one to the end,
at this point, there was this change.
Was that okay?
And is there anything missing from the routine?
And also changing clothes and seats at the sametime
is not something that normally happens.
It's not something done in one day.
So how about the change in that routine?
And simply, was there anything wrong with my ownaction?
Did I make any mistakes?
Was looking there anything unusual, anything thatdidn't go as normal?
I was going through all of that.
Also when changing the blanket, as usual, was thatdone right?
And my parents touched something and then touchedthe blanket.
Things like that.
Was that come from being really particular aboutcleanliness?
And I was thinking about all of that for hours,
maybe more than two hours before sleeping
48:02
and after waking up.
And when I'm recording, like this, I lose track oftime.
So I'm not sure how many hours it was.
Recording now in the morning, eating breakfast.
I forgot to mention this yesterday.
Lately, my socks for some reason make me feeluncomfortable,
even though I wear them all day.
Before, even thick winter socks doesn't bother me,
but it's hard to describe.
It's not itchy or painful.
More like uncomfortable feeling.
I didn't think most people ever feel that way.
Okay, next, I wanna talk about what happened thismorning.
And just under an hour this morning,
similar things happened.
And from the morning, I'm already going back andforth about cover art.
Also, this is daydream.
I was saying something to an idol.
I think about various things,
like they meet a lot of people in theentertainment world all the time,
actress, models, and saying,
you guys have such an amazing presence,
I almost got dizzy.
You guys are so great.
That's kind of daydream.
Right, I was gonna talk about what happened thismorning.
At the WBC, wait, I made a mistake.
At the next Olympics,
my parents said that in baseball,
Americans can join because they're the hostcountry.
I was surprised and said really.
And then my parents said,
actually, it might be whether America as the hostcountry will join.
If that's the case,
I thought just from the start,
because my parents just took America is playing
and they changed the meaning to say they'replaying because they're the host country.
But when talking about this,
I always wonder why I get so upset over littlethings like this.
51:00
It's not that I dislike my parents.
I don't dislike them.
But being let down and lied to so many times,
naturally, there's a defensive reason,
and I get upset.
Also eating, I'm gonna talk about the game today.
During meals,
I can't really, really taste things well
because my sense of taste is weak.
The feeling of being very sensitive is true.
I talked about this recently.
There's always this frustrating feeling,
but my sense of taste is weak.
As a living creature,
I think the real problem.
As a person, I think it's a problem.
So it's really unpleasant,
always not being able to taste things well.
I wish I could taste things just a little better.
And what end up happening is,
naturally, if I was tending to something OK,
I feel realized.
I check whether I could taste it and feelrelieved.
So it's like, it happens to someone else.
Like when someone else looks happy,
and you feel, oh, good.
They seem OK.
It's not about me, even though it is me.
Feeling relieved that I'm tasting things OK.
But that doesn't really mean anything.
Because even if I'm not tasting it well,
I don't think that's fine.
But looking back and thinking,
oh, I was able to taste that.
The checking has no point.
Also, something I talked about before.
Beef is just expensive
because it costs money to raise
and takes longer before it's ready to sell.
And thinking, oh, it's a luxury,
it's just an assumption.
That's what I said.
But for Japanese people,
maybe it's because they are Japanese.
From a feeling standpoint,
that some assumption isn't actually wrong.
The reason is Japanese people have this tendency
to think that the more the effort something takes,
54:02
the more wonderful it is.
Which means baseball players end up getting paid
100 million or 200 million yen
while track athletes
even if they win a gold medal,
they can only get so much in return.
Baseball players,
because they are put up with many years,
10 or more hardship,
maybe that's what the salary reflects.
If people are finding value in that,
don't you think Japanese people have a realproblem
because it's really just a result of
pushing through and get alone.
In America, in school,
kids try out all kinds of sports.
Then in university,
they pick and head towards going pro.
So there are none of that many hours a day.
Mud covers got its own training style.
And yet they still get paid well.
An NBA player,
a Japanese top track athlete
who wins a gold medal is living.
Living.
Something behind in Japanese history.
That's saying a lot,
but it's a huge achievement.
Achievement.
And yet they can't get the kind of pay.
That's strange, isn't it?
Rarely I feel like
I need to record an English episode in the morning
and not be able for about three days
has also been its own kind of stress.
It's tough.
It's summer vacation.
In the early part,
homework was all I could think about.
And I'd rush to finish as quickly
because getting the hard stuff done first
is better than once it's done, it's done.
And how do I put this?
I burned through all my energy,
which would be fine if I burned through it all,
but I end up wanting to do something else instead,
57:02
and not being able to settle down.
Whether that's a natural personality trait
or whether it comes from growing up in a religion,
I'm not sure, but I just can't relax.
Maybe I'm also just an impatient kind of person.
And then in the later part,
when they...
In later part, what about the third is left?
It's just counting down on the calendar.
Only this many days left.
And it becomes painful.
And at that moment, I finally realized
I was glad I finished the homework early.
This is about dinner from yesterday,
or the day before actually.
The day before, I think it was katsu,
probably katsu, chicken katsu.
By the way, I prefer chicken katsu over pork katsu.
The price is about double through.
Well, pork katsu is actually more expensive.
And yesterday, it was another one of Kasahara'svideos.
My parents were really praising Kasama a lot.
I think they are amazing too.
What do they even put in that recipe?
And yesterday, there was a lot of Chinese cabbage.
Maybe by following the recipe with pork.
And was it head of the root mushroom?
It was shiitake.
And this morning, it was head of the root mushroom
cooked in butter, I think.
And duck meat.
Well, duck meat sounds expensive,
but it was duck meat ham.
Maybe it's not that expensive,
but it tastes like chicken to me,
and also egg rolls.
All right.
The other day,
celebrity introduced some foods that go well withrice.
And then, there was a vote,
and people ate a winner.
It was just mayonnaise, curry powder, and sausage.
1:00:04
You could make that at home, couldn't you?
But that's one.
Lonely, I didn't really get that.
And yesterday was really filling.
Chinese cabbage with pork and shiitake.
Well, it was head of the root.
It was mostly Chinese cabbage.
I don't really like Chinese cabbage on its own,
but I like the way it comes out in cooked dish.
Like sukiyaki, too.
And I also like it simple with bonito flakes.
And like yesterday, too.
The other day, there was quite a bit of sake init.
That was good, too.
And I also like pickled things and kimchi.
All right.
I heard that someone was making red bean paste atone point.
They said they made a sweet red bean soup,
but it didn't turn out well apparently.
My parents didn't work it.
My grandmother would make red bean soup with that.
And every time, it would turn out reallydelicious.
And even when I was still there,
so I was already over 80 years old at that time,
but still made it for us.
I saw how it's made in a video,
and it looked really hard.
I thought she really did well to make that for us.
By feel and without measuring,
the fact that she could do it just by eye and bytiming is really impressive.
I thought that.
My grandmother appeared in my dream a lot.
All right.
That's it for today.
Thank you for listening.
Please keep supporting the show.
