00:06
みなさんこんにちは。いかがお過ごしでしょうか。
今日は、8月22日火曜日、夜の10時半に収録しています。
えーっと、今日で、90何回目だったかな。えー、95回目で音読していきます。
読んでいる本は、When Breath Becomes Air ポール・カラニさんの本です。
えーっと、97ページ。
Yet, openness to human relationality also carried a price.
Once evening in my third year, I am running into Jeff, my friend in general surgery, a similarly intense and demanding profession.
We each noted the other's despondency.
You go first, he said, and I described the death of a child, shot in the head for wearing the wrong color shoes.
But he had been so close to making it.
I made the recent spate of fatal, inoperable brain tumors.
My hopes had been pinned on this kid pulling through, and he hadn't.
Jeff paused, and I waited his story.
Instead, he laughed, punched me in the arm, and said,
Well, I guess I learned one thing.
If I'm ever feeling down about my work, I can always talk to a neurosurgeon to cheer myself up.
Driving home later that night, after gently explaining to a mother that her newborn had been born without a brain and would die shortly,
I switched on the radio.
NPR was reporting on the continuing drought in California.
Suddenly, tears were streaming down my face.
Being with patients in these moments certainly had its emotional cost, but it also had its reward.
I don't think I ever spent a minute of any day wondering why I did this work or whether it was worth it.
The call to protect life and not merely life but another's identity.
It is perhaps not too much to say another's soul was obvious in its sacredness.
03:10
That's all for today.
I was just reading, but that's all for today.
I haven't been able to pronounce the words, but I'm just reading them.
I thought I'd take a little break.
The content of the letter is so-so.
I'm just reading it because I want to continue reading it.
Today, I looked up the word, despondency.
I thought, wow, despondency.
What else is there?
Inoperable.
It's called inoperable.
In is the opposite of inoperable.
Operable.
Operation operable.
I thought, oh, it's just like that.
It's a fatal brain tumor that can't be operated on.
I made a recent spate of fatal inoperable brain tumors.
I was happy to hear that there was a news program called NPR.
I've heard of it before, but I haven't heard it lately.
I found out about it on Twitter X.
It's an online radio program called NPR.
Well, that's about it for today's word recap.
Today, I've been thinking about how I can't do it.
I've been thinking about how I can't do it, and I've been looking back at the day.
Why?
Well, I guess it's because I'm comparing.
But compared to when I was resting, I woke up early in the morning and lived a regular life.
I took the train in the crowd to work.
06:00
I went to work earlier than everyone else and prepared for it.
I'm doing my job with all my might.
But it doesn't look good.
It's too late to finish.
I'm just tired and exhausted.
I wonder how long this will go on.
But there were some happy things while I was working.
I'm glad when I'm happy to be treated by a patient.
Oh, I feel refreshed.
Oh, the pain is in this position.
I'm calm because I stopped the pain.
But if you think about it deeply, I think anyone can do it without me.
It doesn't have to be me, but it's my job.
I'm glad that I was able to work for that person.
It was a tiring day.
Oh, but there was another good thing.
I had dinner with my parents and my daughter today.
Every time I meet my parents, I remember the time when I was a student and I was rebellious to my parents.
I still have some feelings that I can't be honest with my parents.
I still can't talk to my parents from the bottom of my heart.
But I was so tired that I was able to meet my parents in a relaxed state.
I was relieved.
I felt that they were the most supportive and reassuring people.
But when I'm outside, I get tired because I'm so focused on my work.
I hope you can be close to someone you can trust.
09:08
I can relax the most when I'm alone.
But when I spend time with someone I can relax the most, I can reduce my stress.
I've read in a book that happiness doubles and sadness doubles.
I think it's true.
Thank you for listening to me today.
I'm sorry.
I can only say this in a sleepy voice.
I'll do my best tomorrow.
Good night.
