2009年からオフラインモードでの日本のシャットイング、オブザーイングライブは、深くない、モチベーショナルではありません。
Mr.ライム&ロックスは、絶対に詳しい話をしましょう。
I'll talk about what happened today. First, I waswatching a video.
A famous person was checking the result of thehigh school exam online. Their father was sayingthat everything that happened will be good forthem.
You see the kind things a lot. When they passed,the father was so happy. It's normal, but isn't itstrange?
He said it doesn't matter.
If they pass or fail, because it's all good forthem. But then he got so excited. When theypassed, it's full of contradiction.
I can't understand why he changed so fast.
If I were the father, I wouldn't say thateverything has a meaning or is for their sake.
You only say that to people who fail. Actually, Idon't think you should say it to them either.
Thinking that everything is good for you, whetherthings go well or not, doesn't help at all.
I have a similar idea, but it's also different.For example, my body feels itchy right now.
But is that for my sake? I just look to the left,but does that help me?
I don't think everything is for my sake. It's toomuch. I just put my left leg up while sitting, butdoes that have a meaning?
No, people just say everything has a meaningbecause it's convenient for them. There are nosuch things as everything.
I watched the video and I thought it was a nicething, but I thought about it this way.
When I passed my high school exam, I wasn't happyat all. Back then, we could see the result onlinetoo, going there in person in a big event.
But I didn't feel anything when I passed theperson in the video passed the hardest school inHokkaido.
Everyone in the family looked so happy. We didn'thave that in my house. I wasn't happy. And we didn't act like that.
It was very hard for me to watch the video. Itbecame a trauma, even though I didn't realize itback then.
Do you know why I wasn't happy? It's all becauseof religion.
If you believe in awkward things, your ideas stayaway from the real world. It's not exactly like asaying.
It's the same whether you pass or not. It's notabout being nihilist.
Actually, I think I'm more of a nihilist now in agood way.
When I was studying for exam, the idea was thatyou grow your soul during the process, so you justhave to grow.
In Japan, exams are just a game. In reality.
Studying for exam only matters if you pass. If youdon't, you just get a lot of useless knowledge.
Some adults say you learn a lot by working hard,but no adult really believes that it's true.
It has no meaning. It's just a system forcompetition. You have to study to get more pointsand get into the school you want.
If you fail, it's all for nothing.
Well, even if you pass, it doesn't mean the studyitself had meaning.
If I had looked at reality, clearly I would havestudied hard.
But I thought I didn't need to get points as longas my soul grew.
So I didn't make a plan or study hard to pass.
My ideas were away from the real world, so I wasn't happy.
When I passed, I never wanna feel that way again.
So when I was a high school student, I decided tobe very logical and try to get into the universityof Tokyo.
People often say only children are spoiled, but Ithink people in the world are cared for much moreby their families.
I thought about that today. It's not about beingspoiled. They have a connection as a family.
I'm only a child, but it's the opposite for me.
People in the world have that family feeling, butwe don't have it at all. It's complicated.
I can't understand people who support idols whilethey have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
I think you should focus on one person if you likesomeone that much.
They should be the only one. I don't know what theother person thinks, but I don't know how they canlove both.
Many people think loving an idol is like a fakeromance.
If I were married, I wouldn't have hobbies likethat.
Just having the person I love nearby would beenough.
I can't understand liking another person.
Also, people who like idols and think of it asromance must have very high goals.
They can't actually date the idol but prefer itsevent if it's not real.
If so, I think they would give up on finding alover in the real world.
I can't understand how they can support a perfectperson and still wanna date a normal person.
I think I have HSP, so I worry about people a lot.
Even with my parents, I think they might hate itif I'm looking at them.
If we are eating the same thing, I can tell by thesound, and I worry they might hate it.
I think about other people and worry for them. It's a hard illness.
Now for the next story.
An older boxer was fighting very hard and gotexcited, but the other person stayed calm from thestart.
Then the excited person got tired and lost.
This is a bad thing about Japanese people. Theycan't save their energy.
Marathon runs look like they run with spirit, butthey actually calculate a lot.
They have to do that to run that far.
Japanese people have a bad habit of doingeverything with all their power.
It's stupid. Everyone in the world thinks it'sstupid, so we should stop.
Even in developed countries, people are logicalabout sport. You can do everything with all yourpower.
If you lose your energy at the start, you getnervous before the game starts and get tired.
It's sad to see that. I just checked about thatboxing match.
The person who lost did that on purpose to makethe match exciting.
I thought that might be true.
As I said before, I have a strong like anddislike.
Especially with music. I can't believe people wholike what I hate are the same humans as me.
I don't feel better than them. And I don't feellike we are friends. I just can't understand whythey like that music.
And many people like it. Maybe they don't have agood taste, even if they like what's popular.
They have their own taste. I just can't understandit.
I know everyone has different likes, but I can'tthink it's okay that they like it.
I don't think they are wrong. I just can'tunderstand them.
I've been this way since I was born.
So I don't wanna change it or understand them. Ifeel the same about myself and others.
I'm recording this at night. I felt frustratedafter I spoke earlier.
I remember interesting videos. Before that, I wasstudying English.
Since I started studying at home, I've realizedmany things.
For example, a person's ability doesn't keep goingup forever.
Also, what you've got or about is already decided.
Schools say you should work on what you've got,but usually it's just that you didn't prepare ordidn't have time.
What you've got is decided by your genes.
You should just accept what you can and can't do.
I see sports players and think about this.
If a coach fixed a small part of how they move,they would need 30 more years to do it withoutthinking again.
I forgot about that and feel frustrated about myEnglish, but it can't be helped.
When I do it myself, these things change.
It's hard to realize things when you're the onedoing it.
I wonder what I've been realizing all this time.
Going back to the story, there's a person with amental illness in the religion.
He's older than me. He failed his exam and got theillness.
People in the religion saw me taking exam andthought I got depressed because of that.
They probably think exams are bad, but I'mdifferent.
I've been depressed since the year I joined thereligion.
I want them to know that.
It's not because I started taking exams.
I've been depressed since my first year of highschool.
Also, I imagine things.
I imagine if I had a girlfriend and we went to thesame university in Hokkaido.
We look at the results together and hug.
And my parents are there too.
I was thinking about the video.
A girl from Nogizaka looked happy.
Because she passed Sapporo Minami High School.
I'm not jealous.
I'm not talking about wanting to pass thatuniversity.
I just wish I hadn't started staying home.
But I think it was meant to be this way.
It's like people who get cancer.
No matter how much they care about their health.
It's their fate.
But I think my life would have been totallydifferent.
If things had changed just a little.
Life is like that.
Everything is decided by luck.
For example, I could have lost my sight or my leftarm.
It could have happened with just small things.
So I have to live thinking that's just how lifeis.
Small things can change your life.
I passed a high school with a high rank.
It was actually a school with a rank of only ifyou subtract it from any.
I went to see the result and my friend passed too.
Someone I hate passed too.
But I wasn't happy at all.
When I checked my points.
The teacher at the prefect school said I couldhave tried a better school.
The results weren't out yet.
So I could have been happy.
It's not good to believe in awkward things.
Next story.
Dinner was pumpkin.
It had a good feel.
Yesterday it was a potato.
The potatoes from Sekomart are good.
The eggs are good too.
Everything from Sekomart is good.
And macaroni salad with olive oil is great.
Spaghetti salad too.
And pickles.
When you support idols, it's interesting to seepeople who are good at dancing.
Some are bad at sports.
And some are good.
But some people who are very good at sports arebad at dancing.
That's interesting.
Dancing shows that bad people are good or bad atclearly.
It's strange that someone who is great at sportscan't dance at all.
And some people who are bad at sports can dancewell.
It's the same as moving your body.
But they must use a different part of the brain.
People who can dance are often very smart or verydifferent.
Some are not smart at all.
Also when I don't eat much for dinner, I worryabout getting depressed.
Because I feel like I'm gonna die while sleeping.
But I don't feel hunger much.
So I can handle it.
The problem is that I don't eat more because I can't handle it.
Something I feel like my life is in danger becauseI'm so hungry while sleeping.
I don't usually eat anything except during meals.
I only missed a meal when I went to see a doctor.
But I probably drank a jelly drink.
I went to a night club in the afternoon.
And I saw a girl from Nogizaka past and herfather.
She is in her first year of high school.
Usually girls that age said,
Don't come near me.
Don't come near me or don't touch me.
I was moved by that.
そしてスタジオのみんなが泣いていました。
それは素敵なシーンでした。
しかし、私は彼女が父に1週間後に言うことを望みました。
あなたは私をたくさん触った。
あなたは私をたくさん触った。
彼らは通常そのように見えます。
父は彼女を女性として見えません。
彼女がその年齢であるとしても。
それは難しいことです。
彼らの父は人間の少しだけです。
もし彼らが全くそうではないのなら、それは問題です。
しかし、もし彼らがそうであれば、それは難しいことです。
私はそれが良いと思っています。
もし彼らがそうではないのなら。
私はそれについて考えていました。
それは問題ではありません。
私は今日移住しました。