感情の揺れ
Welcome to 英語で雑談１Kevin’s English Room Podcast.
Alright. Hello.
So do you know what are you going to do tonight, like after this?
After this? I don't know. I don't have anything.
You don't have anything? You're just being relaxing and just being chill?
Yeah.
I don't want to do anything too crazy.
Yeah.
Doing something crazy makes me uncomfortable right now.
I don't know why.
You have to do. You're like in a mood that you do as usual.
I guess so. I haven't fully understood this feeling.
Yeah.
But like whenever I, for example, I could go on a trip or something.
Yeah.
But I try to do that actually. I try to like go somewhere fun.
Okay.
Like go for something new.
Yeah.
Whenever I try to do that, I don't know, it just gets me. I don't know, it's just like...
Oh, okay.
Shit, like I can't enjoy it. I don't know why.
Okay.
But it's just, I don't know. I guess that feeling of, I don't know, maybe it like kind of reminds me that this enjoyment could be gone.
Maybe it kind of reminds me of that.
Okay.
Don't know why.
That makes you sad, kind of?
Yeah, kind of makes me worry about it. Like, hey, maybe I might not be able to do this again.
And that kind of like, that worries me.
And if I do some everyday normal shit, that doesn't happen.
Right, right, right.
So...
You don't have to think about anything.
Right.
Like you just, just as you are, like as usual.
Right.
So I'm doing everything like, yeah, normal, but like definitely very low productivity.
Well, yeah.
Very low.
I mean, if you, well, yeah.
Very low productivity.
I totally get it. Like, I mean...
You know, the video that on the, personally, I'm doing the YouTube channel.
I have not been able to move forward on that at all during this period.
I mean, you don't have to.
Yeah.
I totally get it. Like, it's great even, like you attended the meeting this morning.
And then just, you know, do this recording and talk about things in front of cameras.
Yeah.
I don't know. It's, I don't know. It's just, you know, I'm used to this.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I'm under control when I'm doing this, right? So like, it doesn't really affect me.
I see. I see.
It's a part of your usual daily life.
Yeah, like routine. Like, I don't have to, like, I know it's going to be safe.
I know it's going to be like, okay. I know it's going to be like as usual.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know. Nothing comes across my mind.
I see.
Yeah.
So is that strange? Like, is that, is talking about these things makes you a bit boring more?
You know, not, not, not actually. Like it's, I've, you know, it's already been a week.
Yeah.
So like, I've come to a point where I've like internalized it properly.
And I can really talk about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I guess if it was like a week ago where I haven't fully thought through all the possibilities.
And then I talk about it with you. And then all these bad things starts coming in.
Yeah.
And that might get me. But like, right now, I'm like, actually kind of settled.
待ち望む明日
Like, I'm actually like, thought through all the possibilities.
Yeah.
Like, so, and like, I can handle like talking about it.
Yeah. Okay. I see.
No, because I was thinking if it, if, if making you talk about this ease you or, you know,
sometimes you organize things and through talking, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or if it brings you more worry.
Well, yeah, it doesn't really change me.
Okay.
You already processed everything.
Yeah, it's already processed.
Okay.
Yeah.
Already digested it.
Yeah.
So.
Yeah.
Right.
Okay. Okay.
I'm just waiting.
You're just waiting.
I can't wait until tomorrow. I cannot wait.
I cannot wait.
I cannot wait.
Like, I, I really want this like unease to, even though I processed it, it's still like an unease, you know?
Well, yeah, you have to wait until that day.
Right.
There's, true.
It's like, I really wanted to like settle down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, so, man, that's, yeah.
Yeah.
Right, right, right.
I see. I, okay, okay, okay.
Yeah.
Are you sleeping well?
Um, I'm actually sleeping very well.
Great to hear that.
Great to hear that.
心身の不調とその影響
I don't know if this is related or not, but the last, this last week has been like the deepest thing.
I don't know why.
Okay.
It could be because I'm worried, you know?
Maybe it's a, it's a, it's a reaction of my body trying to sort of, maybe I'm so tired.
Yeah.
From thinking about my disease.
Your music energy.
Yes.
And then my body is like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, you know, really, really tired by the time we go to bed.
That's why I'm getting a full sleep.
I don't know.
I don't know, but I'm, I'm sleeping very well.
But that's good.
I'm sleeping very well.
That's good.
I'm eating very well.
You're eating very well?
Okay, that's good.
That's right.
Yeah.
I had lasagna yesterday.
Good.
Yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
You're doing great.
Good.
I'm trying to hear that.
Yeah.
Because the worst thing would be like you lose control of yourself.
Yeah.
Because of that information.
Yeah.
And then, you know.
You know, right.
Bad things could happen.
Yeah.
入院準備と注意点
One of the, so I got a lot of documents talking about the hospitalization.
Right?
Okay.
They were like, hey, bring, bring clothes.
Bring some, you know, medicine.
Bring, you know.
Preparing?
Change.
Yeah.
Bring all that.
And one of the things like do not bring knife.
Do not bring scissors.
Do not bring sharp objects.
Because.
Yeah.
Some people, they get into this mental state.
I see.
It gets very dark.
Very low.
And they might hurt themselves.
Yeah.
It's a possibility.
So, please do not bring any of that.
Yeah.
And they were like, all these like mental support of like, hey, you can contact this.
There's a window open for you.
You can come in anytime and talk to them about cancer.
Yeah.
If you're worried.
So.
Yeah.
Right.
It's a huge mental thing.
Right?
Yeah.
I mean, a lot of people, I can imagine having, you know.
I can't laugh about that.
Yeah.
Honestly, I can imagine that.
Like if I would be in that situation, just being in the hospital and what.
How worried.
Yeah.
How stressful it is.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Right.
Obviously, you shouldn't bring your dumbbell into your hospital room.
Pretty dangerous, I guess.
Yeah.
You can break things.
Yeah.
True.
Yeah.
That's not good.
That's true.
That's not good.
I looked at the schedule.
Okay.
For the hospitalization.
You have to wake up at six every morning.
Okay.
And then you have to sleep at nine.
Oh.
Who does that?
New Year.
Do you think I have to do that?
I'm in a koshitsu, by the way.
Okay.
That means you can turn your light on if you want to?
I don't know.
Do you know?
No.
I don't know.
But is it like, I don't know.
But you should do that.
You should obey.
Yeah.
Obey the professionals.
Right.
Yeah.
You're definitely right.
You're 100% right.
I should obey.
I know you.
Like, you may want to, like, sneak out and just stroll around the night hospitals or,
like, I don't know.
You just go, like ...
That does excite me.
Yeah.
Closest ramen shop or anywhere.
Please do not do that.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
You're right.
I shouldn't do that.
入院生活の楽しみ方
I mean, I'm thinking about all these things to be excited for while being hospitalized,
for example.
Okay.
I'm thinking about renting a VR headset.
Oh.
You know?
Because I can't walk outside.
True.
Thinking about going to, like, fucking, like, Paris through VR and, like, stroll around
town.
That'd be fun, right?
Good.
That'd be fun.
Great.
Right?
Great way.
Yeah.
Great way to, you know, being hospitalized.
A little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Yeah.
That.
I'm also thinking about, you know, learning new things.
Yeah.
You know?
Now it's time to learn Korean, then.
I don't know about Korean.
But, yeah, one of the things.
Yeah.
健康管理の重要性
One of the things to be Korean.
One of the things to be Korean.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right.
But if you think about that, you've got a month.
Around a month, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of doing kind of anything you want.
Two weeks, actually.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Two weeks.
Like, well, yeah, you can not work out, maybe.
You can not, like, physical things, maybe.
But still, you've got, like, freedom to use your brain.
That's right.
Your mind.
That's right.
You can, I don't know, maybe, I don't know, be creative.
Yeah.
Maybe draw something.
Yeah.
Why not?
Why not?
Yeah.
Maybe I'll draw.
Post it on Instagram.
Yeah.
I mean, why not?
Honestly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can do anything you want.
Yeah.
I'm thinking about it.
Yeah.
I'm thinking about doing it.
Maybe you can, I don't know, film yourself, maybe.
I could film myself?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That'd be great.
I am thinking about doing that, you know.
Because I'm sure a lot of people will be like, hey, I hope he's okay.
Maybe do a little bit of, you know, stories or maybe an Instagram post to be like, hey,
I'm good, guys.
Hopefully.
You should.
You should.
You should.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe do a little self-podcasting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is it connected?
Yeah, there's Wi-Fi.
Okay.
Okay.
There's Wi-Fi.
Yeah.
That's right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can watch, I don't know, anime?
Yeah.
I'm into anime right now.
I'm going to, I decided I'm going to bring all One Piece books to you.
Oh, please don't do that.
Please don't do that.
No.
Oh, please.
No, no, no, no.
Not a good idea.
Me and Kage-Chan will bring it together.
Not a good idea.
We're going to bring-
Not a good idea.
I guess two boxes.
I guess, of numbers.
Not a good idea.
Then you bring all of the One Piece, including the latest ones.
Not a good idea.
I'm going to, yeah, bring-
Not a good idea.
Do it digitally at least.
That'd be great.
You know?
When I'm de-hospitalized, that's the problem.
I can't, I can't lift heavy shit, remember?
What am I going to do with the, you know?
What if I try to bring it home, and then it opens up my cut, and then it shits on my body, right?
You want that to happen?
I will bring that.
I will bring those things to your house.
Don't worry about that.
Oh, don't do that, too.
Don't do that.
I can watch animes,
dramas,
series, movies.
Yeah, movies.
Yep.
That's gonna be a lot of fun.
Yeah.
Hopefully it doesn't hurt, you know, like the cut.
Yeah, hopefully.
The, you know, surgical cut.
Hopefully it doesn't hurt.
Because if it hurts too much,
I can't do anything, right?
Yeah.
But, yeah.
So, tomorrow.
I mean,
after all,
that's everything we can do today.
Right.
Yeah.
It sucks.
But honestly, it's really
valuable
that we have this.
Right.
And the fact that it's
recorded.
It's really, really valuable
as a record.
Of your life.
Not as like, I don't know,
content.
Yeah.
It's great.
I don't know.
If you turn 80 or 90
and just looking back to this video.
Yeah.
It would be really great.
I'm letting,
this is fully transparent of how I'm feeling.
So it's like a diary, you know.
Yeah.
So.
Wish me luck, guys.
Wish me luck.
Yes.
I guess the time,
when is this out?
15th.
So I'm probably still in the hospital
when this episode is out.
Wish me luck in the hospital, guys.
Yeah.
I'm going to make senbatsuru for you.
I didn't think that joke was going to come to me.
When we said that at Kakutron.
I honestly didn't think it was going to come to me.
I didn't.
Right.
I didn't think I'd do this.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
You gotta take care of your health, man.
We're doing a fucking relay right now.
Don't.
Be careful, man.
Yeah.
Honestly, yes.
Not because it's a relay,
but like you're 30.
Yes.
We're kind of in the same.
Yeah.
Totally.
I'm going to do that same test as you did.
Yeah.
Please tell me the name again.
Of course.
I'm going to resolve that place.
And yeah.
健康診断の結果待ち
And also I'm waiting for the kenko shindan result
that I did a week ago.
That's good.
But yeah, everybody too.
Everybody.
Everybody.
If you fall under that age group
of like the
where Japan's like,
hey, you should do the kenshin,
you definitely do it.
Right.
If you think
I was lucky,
you gotta do it too.
That's a strong message.
Yeah.
Wish me luck.
We're all wishing you luck.
Thank you.
And yeah.
So that's that.
Yeah.
Thank you for sharing that.
No problem.
If it brings value,
I'm happy.
And I'm happy that I'm here
in this moment,
in this room.
Thank you for being here.
Being able to share the moment.
Proud of it.
Honestly,
let me know anything
if we can do anything.
Thank you.
I will.
Thank you.
Alright.
Thanks for listening, guys.
Bye-bye.
