00:03
From now on, KURAKI-SAN'S RADIO RECORDING WILL BEGIN.
ホラーは、突然、私が気づいたのは、それが何かと繋がってきたのです。
突然、ホラーは、説明できないのです。
Physics is also a university.
Suddenly, principle and simple terms ofobservation affect phenomena of thermal freedom.
Measured temperature of hot water with thermometermeasures.
The temperature changes when the thermometer is pulled.
So, it can't be measured correctly.
理論とシンプルな言葉は、複雑な情報が得られないことを意味します。
恐怖、幽霊、不思議なものもありますが、不明な情報もあります。
物理学もそうですが、限界的な情報もあります。
彼らは事実を共有します。
そして、見えない部分もあります。
私は、このように考えるには、コントーンテーマの理学について考えました。
コントームの理学は、何かの理由で面白いです。
物理学、コントームの理学、そして、
関係的にも、
非常に、
哲学的な物理学は、
面白いです。
なぜなら、それは宗教です。
私が言った通り、恐怖と不思議なものを共有しています。
私が言った通り、
物理学は神によって説明された時期がありました。
03:02
見えないことがありました。
今は、
科学がそれを説明する時期があります。
そういう意味で、
それらは似ています。
だから、科学は宗教に恥じられます。
長い前に、
人々は、
科学を見つけ始めたとき、
物理学自体は、
過去の人々にとっては、
信じて、神を信じていました。
そういう意味で、
物理学は、
現実模様を見るように見えました。
しかし、
それは、
それらは、
同じです。
しかし、
基礎的なコーダム・セオリーがあります。
私に近いのは、
それは物理だけでなく、
現実だけです。
物理と影響は、
突然、
影響を与えることができます。
完璧な情報は、
与えられません。
それは、
現実だけを見ることができます。
構造は似ています。
物理と影響は、
突然、
コーダム・セオリーと
何かが、
見るとき、
私は何も使いません。
しかし、
見るとき、
それは、
それは、
偶然です。
それは、
それは、
それは、
それは、
それは、
それは、
それは、
それは、
それは、
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それは、
それは、
それは、
それは、
それは、
しかし、私たちは宗教の役割について考えます。
科学が不思議なことを完全に説明できないという考え方、
科学が不思議な言葉を説明できないという考え方、
それは何も説明できません。
その時、彼女は、人々が彼女を批判することを話して笑っていましたが、
彼女は、人々が彼女を批判することを話して笑っていましたが、
それについては、何も考えないような状況で、
それについては、何も考えないような状況で、
時々、感情が緊張に満ちてしまいます。
セレブリーは、子供の時、スタジオで泣いていたと言いましたが、
その時、子供の時、スタジオで泣いていたと言いましたが、
それは暗くなるのを止めたのです。
私は、それを忍びました。
クラムの教師が言ったことを、
私は何が起こったか覚えていませんが、
私は何が起こったか覚えていませんが、
気がついたのかもしれませんが、
人々は、何をするのかと言っていません。
その人は、何をするのかと言っていませんが、
彼女は、何をするのかと言っていませんが、
でも誰もが同じ経験を持っている
誰もが緊張して笑顔になってしまう
誰もがテンションを減らして生活を始める
誰もが経験を持っている
でも人々はそれを理解していない
次に、宗教を通じて
多くの違いがある
もし私がその人を誤解した
もしその人が私に何かを教えてくれた
もし私がその人を誤解した
その人がこの放送を聴いていた
09:02
その時、私はその人を押し出した
だからそれは二度との悔いになった
私はそれを10年以上悔いを受けた
しかし、私はそれを表現したい
幸せなことはそのように起きる
私は人々を理解することができない
誰もが本当に悔いを受けた
そして他の悔いを受けた
人々が結婚するときも
見た目が変わる
関係が変わる
最も多くの夫婦は
3ヶ月後に愛を得る
子どもが生まれた後
気持ちが変わる
夫婦は愛と結婚を
その人が受けた
その人が私に愛を受けた
そして私はその人に気を付けている
私は彼らに来て
その気持ちが重要だと思っている
それが本当に
私の気持ちはほとんどの人にとっては異なります
しかし、他の国では
年上の夫婦は
まだハグやキスをしている
日本ではそんなに多くの人はいないと思う。もちろん恐怖は良くないし、モラリーも良くないし、でも重要な人として恐怖を感じると、自分の人生の力、愛自体が素晴らしいと考えてしまう。
もちろん、誰かが欺騙されたりすると、それは違った話題になってしまう。それはただの偏見だ。それは完全に違っている。
私には特定の意見がありませんが、それは存在するかもしれません。
しかし、私が何を言っているか、考えているかについて、これは私を中学校や高校に思い出させてくれました。
私は何が起こったかは覚えていませんが、ベースボールチームのクラスメイトから何かを言いました。
私は何かが恥ずかしがり、強く拒否されました。
私はそれを覚えていますが、それは恐ろしいと思い、私はそれを覚えていません。
ベースボールの子どもは、特に感情的でした。彼は不思議な人でした。
子どもは、しかし、ジュニアの子どもは、国際市場が好きで、私はそれを認める必要はありません。
今でも、私が何を言ったかは、本当に不思議でしたが、それは私の考えに戻ってきました。
ちなみに、欺騙は犯罪ではありません。
彼らには、たくさんのクラスメイトがいます。
それは、簡単に言うことができるものです。
しかし、彼らはそれを終わらせました。
12:05
生命のモノギャミが難しいという生物理論もあります。
もし、私が社会に戻ってきたとしても、私は恐怖を持っていないかもしれません。
しかし、私はそれに興味を持って、それを楽しむかもしれません。
私が先ほど言ったような反対を考えるかもしれません。
私は恐怖を持っていなくても、結婚した人に近づけるかもしれません。
それが恐怖だと思います。
それが起きると思います。
私は、人々の道を理解できないこともあります。
そして、年齢が良いと言っています。
そのような説明があります。
なぜ道は不安に感じているのか。
私はとても不安になりました。
私はその場所を離れるかもしれません。
逃げることが受け入れられるかもしれません。
それが説明できないような気持ちになりました。
そして、人々は、このようなことが起きていると考えています。
このような人たちは、救援を求めています。
しかし、彼らは何も治りません。
彼らはすべての理由を持っています。
彼らが誰かをより良く感じるとしても、
そのリリースはすぐに消えてしまいます。
私はそれを誤解することができます。
だから、私はそのようなことを言うことができません。
最近、私はそのような気持ちを持っていました。
しかし、私はそう思います。
そのような人の80%は、
高校生と学生が、
柔道を習って、
仕事を始めた。
仕事を始めたとしても、
私は悲しく感じていました。
あなたはそんなことを経験したことはありませんか?
人々はそれについて気をつけて考えます。
彼らのリリースは、
彼らを救わないような理由を持っています。
しかし、多くの人々は彼らが救われているように見えます。
彼らが不可抵の不安を感じているとき、
彼らは自分を捕まえることができます。
私は彼らがその救い方を理解していません。
それは本物の物語です。
ノギザカ46は、
すべての選ばれたメンバーを発表しました。
私は満足していました。
私のスマートフォンのモーディングに遭遇しました。
私は以前、
インターネットでスマートフォンを見たことがありませんでした。
これが起こりました。
15:01
私はスマートフォンを見る機会がありませんでした。
スマートフォンが取り外されました。
母と話していました。
私は別の人の名前を意図的に言いました。
母は今、スマートフォンを見ることができます。
私はチェックしたかったのです。
私は別の人の名前を言いました。
母は反応していました。
私はそれを期待していました。
私はそれについて話すべきだったと言いました。
母は言いました。
あなたはすでに知っていましたか?
私は知りません。
私はなぜこのような考え方をしているのか知りません。
私は怒りました。
あなたは朝、誰を知っていましたか?
あなたは言いませんでしたか?
だからあなたは言いませんでした。
母は言いました。
私たちはこの話を続けないと言いました。
私は言いました。
あなたはなぜ言いませんでしたか?
彼の名前を言いました。
私は彼の言葉が不思議だと思いました。
母は同じことを言いました。
私が母が朝、誰を知っていましたか?と聞きました。
母は言いました。
母はすでに知っていましたか?
最後に母は彼女が知っていることを認めました。
これは悲しい話ですが、
小さな問題があります。
まず母は答えていません。
母は知っていませんでしたか?
母は知りませんでしたか?
母は今朝、知っていませんでしたか?
ですから、話が変わりました。
私は悲しい話であることについても話しかけました。
しかし、母は始めました。
母が朝、知っていましたか?
私はすでに知っていました。
母は何かを否定し続けました
その中で気がつきました。
それを強く否定する理由はありませんでした。
私は同じことを言い続けました。
そうすれば、会話はできませんでした。
私は言いました。
先ほど、母はただ言っていました。
私たちは今について話すべきではありません。
しかし、母は後で言いました。
母は朝に知りませんでした。
18:01
そして知りませんでした。
ですから、物事は変わりました。
母は言いました。
私は朝に知りませんでした。
私は、母は朝に知りませんでした。
会話は、
私は、
私は、
私は、
私は、
私は、
私は、
私は、
私は、
私は、
私は、
私は、
I'm continuing the life doesn't feel like theupright but to life itself and to daily life itsounds like there's intention in it but there isn't.
Things that I couldn't stop also feel like itcontains a story.
I thought things I failed to stop might be goodbut the world failed also contains a story.
I feel like it's still a little different.
21:20
Who I say I failed it starts to shift because that's wrong.
When if I say I'm still here I start to feel likethere's well something human in it.
I also thought about saying not to create an exit.
When I was thinking about the podcast name beforeI thought about not creating an exit calledsalvation but exit itself is also a concept andstory.
Salvation is the same whose salvation is preparedas an exit when something is painful.
Then there's an exit.It can become a place toescape or it can just be salvation.
People can depend on it or try to be saved by it.
But who said there's no exit?
Then people think this is the only way to keepgoing and their mind becomes settled.
It seems to me that having no exit may becomesalvation in the true sense but think about it.
The moment we explain it that way a story iscreated in that sense.
There's no exit.There's no ending.No meaning andno purpose.
I thought it might show the non-story nature ofthis podcast more strongly.
I tried to record the late night English episodelast night but for some reason I couldn't.
Apple back happened even after I woke up in themorning.
I still didn't work.I was confused.It worked outsomehow but during the night I stopped the live.
Something like this happened.I regret it later.
Why didn't do standing?
Instead I ended up making cover art for 2 hourseverything I thought but in the morning it becamea mess.
2 hours were wasted too.
But when I think about it it has been the samething for months when I think.
That's why it started to feel painful.It's painfulto think about my meaning and action next topeople living in kotodama.
People say words have the power to change reality.
If someone keeps the saying they can do it.
They become able to take challenges at this level.
People are talking about the psychological effectso it becomes something like self-help.
24:06
But some people take it as supernatural power.
The problem is that those things get mixedtogether.
Then it ends up with people not knowing what itmeans.
The same thing is the problem just reminds me.
Spiritual people especially Junon Senshi and alsothis tense.
Relatively young age it was shocking.
People who believe in spiritual things seem tonever allow negative words and would experiment.
I think it means nothing but it doesn't work withpeople who trust spiritual things no matter howmuch you say.
It's a myth.There are strange people even frompsychology or science.
There is no evidence for that idea.
Like they think negative words will make someonemove in that direction.
When I listen to people who believe in spiritualthings everything sounds chaotic to me no matterwhere I look.
It's very strange.I don't think it's one way tolive.
And I completely intend to deny it.
People who tell others not to say negative thingsmaybe turn it into something like a fixed belief.
Maybe there are people who care about good luckthings even though it feels too unreasonable.
So it's strange to force other people who someonebelieve words of power.
That's one thing.
But forcing that belief on other people is moreserious.
The problem is that they truly believe it's real.
And I was in a religion myself from the point ofview of someone who was in a religion.
People who believe in spiritual things aredangerous.
When I was young there were spiritual TV shows.
I watched them and thought what are those peopletalking about.
I was in a cult myself.
I believed in the next life and another next lifeand karma even from that position.
People who believe in spiritual things seemedstrange.
I never believed in power sport.
Did people truly believe in them?
Some of them seemed far gone.
Have you ever looked at people like that andwonder if they're OK?
People also say that praying more than to plant orspeaking kindly to them helps them grow.
But it's already been shown that this isscientifically wrong.
27:04
Agricultural science says no.
So people were thinking it was true.
This reminds me of when I was in a religion.
Because people believe in the occult and there's aproblem.
They don't try to solve what is thrown at them.
Instead they try to deal with something invisibleand unclear that is just stressful.
The reason just stressful is beyond stress.
When I stopped believing in the occult when theneed to become clear I could focus on what Ineeded to focus on
and then I realized how difficult it would be.
When I was in a religion it was like searching forsomething to eat in the desert.
They made people think like that and religiontakes responsibility.
If someone suffers they say that if they don'twant to suffer they don't have to be so seriousabout it.
Who believes in them that's enough.
I think that is the stance of many religions.
If someone becomes strange after taking itseriously they say they aren't responsible.
There is a painter who said that art is a lie thatmakes people realize the truth.
What does it mean?
The person in a painting isn't real.
The character in a novel isn't real either.
But people can feel sad because a character whodoesn't exist.
That sadness is real and people can realizesomething through it.
I think religion is the same.
Believing itself is real.
What people see at the time is real.
There is no fact in religion or life theory.
They are all right I know.
I spent 20 years in religion.
People think believing will lead them to the truththat religion should manifest.
Someone said religion is a fact.
That is wrong because we judge it by whether it isfactually correct.
It looks like a lie because it is a lie.
But through the story called religion people feelsomething true.
Still there isn't truth in the world itself.
Even if a factional character in a novel orartwork helps someone realize something
that character is still factional.
It is the same thing.
30:00
The people listening to this podcast understandeven if facts are lined up.
Truth doesn't always appear.
Sometimes made-up stories make the truth easier tosee.
But if something strange appears I say the truthbecomes visible.
But that truth is also just a made-up story.
Someone may claim that truth doesn't exist.
It is also a story.
What I want to say is not that the idea that truthexists is a story.
Truth itself is a story.
It is only a framework created by people.
But if the claim that truth is made-up concept istrue then it seems like someone knows the truth.
There is a similar structure in mathematics.
When people ask whether the completeness theoremis correct and complete.
That argument doesn't work.
It is similar here.
So the claim that there is no truth doesn'tnecessarily become a truth claim.
But rather than saying there is no truth.
I think truth is shaped by history and culture.
It is almost the same thing.
But saying it that way may help the discussionmove more smoothly.
The discussion itself creates strange areas.
It is just people arguing inside their heads.
For example someone says that their best friendwill also trust them.
Someone else says there may be times when theybetray them.
I think that discussion is pointless.
It is interesting as philosophy and I know thereis no answer.
But saying a best friend will absolutely trust youis strange.
And saying they might not.
Also just stating the obvious.
So I think both sides are unnecessary.
It isn't that there is no answer.
It just feels like an unnecessary discussion.
There is no need to decide either way.
But even though I say there is no truth.
When time comes when everyone is clear I know thattruth doesn't exist and that would be boring too.
There would be nothing left for me to argue about.
That reminds me.
A while ago I watched a weekly NHK program.
There was an artist I still dislike.
It felt like the person was copying anotherartist.
33:02
It bothers me.
Yesterday I watched a video podcast and thoughtthe person looked like someone I saw a week ago.
They may not have intended to copy anyone.
But some people observed.
Think like a sponge and didn't you know.
People at school who were amazing at imitatingteachers.
Some people are strongly influenced by speech.
Gestures or singing styles.
I remember that the person I saw yesterday wouldn't leave my mind.
Because they seemed similar.
Speaking of similar people.
Yesterday I found another person with a similarface.
Before I thought I would see that face somewhere.
But the memory is from a long time ago.
So it probably wasn't the same person I lookedfor.
Someone who looked like them.
But couldn't find anyone.
Then I found out their birthday was only one dayapart from someone else.
The year was almost the same too.
I thought it was probably coincidence there wasanother similar person too.
But I couldn't figure it out.
I was doing things like that.
There was also a scientist who said the challengeis to give stimulation and help the brain develop.
To me that sounds strange.
The brain doesn't develop that way.
Adulthood I thought the phrase was too much.
But maybe people need strong words to getattention still.
I think it's wrong.
I think taking a challenge is fine.
But if the challenge itself can be bad.
Then there is a problem.
I talk about the recently a celebrity got a boatlicense.
Even though they probably won't use it.
The kind of challenge only has value.
Because people think challenge itself ismeaningful.
There is a trend that says challenge is wonderful.
I think people should keep that inside themselves.
They should apply to everyone else.
But that trend exists.
If people saw a simple satisfaction that would befine.
Challenge itself is wonderful.
Someone wants to live based on challenge.
That's fine.
But saying challenge is wonderful and everyoneshould do it feels strange.
There is a belief that people who take a challengeare admirable.
People who don't are passive.
Many people can probably see that.
36:01
But it isn't obvious why challenge itself is good.
Many people want to live quietly.
Avoid the risk.
Satisfied with their current life.
When I was in religion.
People told me not to become stagnant.
They said to challenge myself.
Change and improve.
Even outside religion people say things like that.
Many young people think they always need moreambition and change.
People also praise those who challenged themselvesand felt more than those who lived carefully andsucceeded.
You hear things like it doesn't matter that youfailed.
It doesn't matter that you challenged yourself.
But people usually always say that young people oftheir age were really true.
So it should apply to adults too.
At the same time some people say that if achallenge brings no result.
It has no meaning.
This is extreme.
If people didn't treat a challenge as somethingspecial.
In the first place there would be no need to arguethat a challenge without results has no meaning.
It is too obvious.
There used to be a rock band called Nirvana.
They became huge.
Their image and music were full of apathy.
Because things like that people misunderstand nihilism.
Nihilism originally questioned object meaning andvalue.
But in Japan, nihilism often means being cold,critical or lacking motivation.
When Nirvana becomes a symbol of it, themisunderstanding grows.
Nihilism gets turned into a drama.
If you search for a nihilistic song, most of themare hopeless songs.
But nihilism itself doesn't necessarily includedespair or loss.
Still I don't feel good when I see people takingon challenges.
It depends on who is doing it and under whatconditions.
There was a business person in the IT field.
Many IT people seemed similar to me.
In the past they sounded like people who onlytalk.
They seemed overly rational.
They had a big mouth.
They seemed more interested in looking cool thanbeing grounded.
39:01
But I saw them doing a triathlon to that person inthe public.
I don't know the practical meaning.
They were sweating, struggling and pushingthemselves.
They moved me in with nothing but a challenge.
I think that person also acted with anotherchallenge, matching that with me.
I don't think challenges are wonderful.
I don't think people are wonderful because theychallenge themselves.
But it can still be good by seeing someonechallenge themselves.
At the same time, some people look like they aresuffering.
Many celebrities are extremely strict withthemselves.
Older people take on challenges because they thinkthey still can.
I find it pleasant to watch.
But I don't see it as good or bad.
It just seems unnecessary.
They live shorter now.
Maybe they should do what they really want.
Yesterday, I listened to a podcast.
It was an award for writing.
Many people like that.
Some comedians become successful on YouTube.
In other fields, I get jealous.
It feels like they trust everything around onemove.
They seem to have it, but I can't release thatenergy through MV.
I just feel frustrated.
I'd like to turn my life around, but I can't.
Like I said before, yesterday I watched something.
Then I thought it was a mystery.
I was sure it was a mystery.
But it turned out to be a horror movie.
Watching it gave me an idea.
I thought about what I would have made.
Instead, I was completely convinced it was ahorror.
Supposedly, strange things keep happening.
For example, someone wins 200 million yen in alottery.
Things that seemed impossible keep happening.
When coincidences pile up, people start lookingfor supernatural explanations.
It turned out to be a mystery instead.
But what if there were no supernatural events atall?
The world would be a good misdirection.
I think I'd make something like that.
It wouldn't be a lie.
People win lotteries when strange things happen.
People explain them through ghosts.
42:00
Then they become more afraid than necessary.
A movie about that could be interesting.
The opposite also happens.
Good things happen again and again.
People think it was a fortune teller.
Many people start giving bad directions.
Also, I finally closed the window next door today.
I worried about it for a long time.
But if I spent all the time worrying, it wouldhave been better to close it immediately for me.
Doing that means checking things and talking withmy mom.
That takes effort.
I was so worried about causing trouble for my mom.
But it's reasonable.
Who am I gonna spend all that time worrying?
I should just close it.
I finally did it today.
What scared me is a trouble that comes from doingsomething I'd never done before.
Either way, there was a problem next.
When I was in elementary school, I was interestedin idols.
Maybe I thought one or two were pretty.
Maybe I thought group leader looked strict.
In junior high school and high school, there werepopular idols.
But I thought only certain fans liked them.
After I started staying at home, there were idolgroups that had already been popular since highschool.
I thought they would know special features andknow especially cute members.
I wondered why they were so popular.
I thought there were cuter girls in my class.
Then I met someone connected to Nogizaka46 andstarted supporting them.
Looking back, many lucky things happened at theright time.
It's really strange that I kept supporting themfor this long.
I never wanted personally to become an idol fan.
Either way, I don't like things that are popularwith everyone.
The chance of me liking something accepted by themass is very low.
When I was a student, I always looked for meaning.
I hated losing who I needed there.
Same thing as everyone else, I couldn't win.
Looking back now, I don't even know what I wastrying to win.
Then I stayed at home and liked religion.
Meaning slowly disappeared.
My values became weaker too.
The timing was perfect.
I could support them calmly.
My feelings didn't become too strong.
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They didn't disappear either.
I supported them at a normal temperature.
That's why I could continue very even.
Now I think that liking something
creates a story.
It creates the idea that one thinks better thananother.
I was never the kind of person who could createstories easily.
I always end up looking at things from a distance.
I think I'm showing that.
Here it is.
Then I cooled down.
Maybe I was already detached even while I was inreligion.
Part of me stayed detached.
I thought there wasn't anything that wonderful.
I could enjoy it with a hobby, but I couldn'tunderstand it.
Supporting it that strongly, even when I supportedbaseball,
I cooled down quickly.
It is strange that I continue this long.
But this applies to everybody in general.
I like people who seem responsible, serious, andare likely to betray others.
Society doesn't seem to care about that very much.
It often makes me feel different from everyoneelse.
Yesterday a guest on a podcast said that afterbecoming successful and earning more money,
they could spend more on gambling.
It made me think that freedom is frightening.
When people get more money, they gain more ways touse it before.
They couldn't spend it even if they wanted to.
Now they can spend it or not spend it.
There are choices to increase.
That freedom can lead to things like gamblingaddiction.
Isn't that frightening?
People seem to desire what they don't have.
Maybe it is only me.
Some rich people say they want to experienceordinary life.
Recently I saw someone who had gone to privateschools their whole life.
They wanted to experience part-time jobs.
They did on YouTube.
There are also rich people who dream about eatingsimple food at an old ramen shop.
I think many people are like that.
I even saw a character like that in a TV drama.
I thought I was the only one who spent so muchtime imagining being someone else.
I suppose people only did it sometimes.
But maybe people do it throughout their lives.
Yesterday I also looked up why so many women likeBL.
Many women are interested in male romance.
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Most of the time it's manga.
I never understand it.
But when I looked it up, people said the object ofinterest is simply different.
Men and women often enjoy different things.
I thought that explanation made some sense.
Yesterday I watched a horror movie where a ghostis in love with a woman.
Things like that feel beautiful to me.
With art romance, maybe women feel somethingsimilar when they like BL.
I don't know.
It doesn't seem exactly the same.
Some people say women like it.
Because there is no female character to becomejealous of.
That is true.
Maybe some idol fantasy thinks that way too.
That idea surprised me.
I also looked up why court cases sometimes take 2or 3 years after a crime happens.
In the past I wasn't interested in things likethat.
I noticed it.
But I thought that was just how things worked.
I wasn't curious.
I still feel detached.
But I became more serious.
I also wondered what's happening.
Someone with dissociative identity disordercommits a crime.
It seems that people don't become innocent.
That's very often I became serious.
I almost never hear about cases like that.
It is similar to people who claim to channelspirits.
Of course spirits aren't entering them.
But some kind of awareness probably remains.
Otherwise people would commit crimes like inhorror movies.
This is also evidence that spirits aren't reallytaking over.
Thinking about it personally in that way isinteresting.
Who gets awareness and no awareness at the sametime?
Maybe the idea that we are always the samecontinuous person is also an illusion.
At least that possibly exists.
Recently I watched a mystery drama and looked forother things I could match.
I kept starting to have a tendency towardperfectionism.
I need to see everything that can be seen.
When I started reading the Harry Potter novels,
I think I'd either read all of them or stop beforestarting.
Good perfectionism.
I often quit early.
I know that if I start,I wouldn't feel the need tofinish everything,
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so I stop before beginning.
Finally before doing something,
I often feel free and relaxed.
Most people probably feel worse before doingsomething difficult.
Imagine having something unpleasant coming up inone or two months.
When the moment finally arrived,I feel free.
Most people would feel relief after it's in.
Or after enough time passed.
But for me,before it begins,
well,tension should be highest.
I feel the most free the moment I should bethinking that
the time has finally come and I have to face it.
I feel released.
This is prevalent.
It would be good if it created healthy tension.
But sometimes it makes me underestimate thesituation.
I'm not actually free yet.
The real events still ahead.
Feeling free before it happens.
Better than being too nervous.
But it isn't always good either.
