00:00
…iM dOiNg mY pOdCaStS
…AlLoNg tHe WaY,The pHoNe'S bAtTeRy stOpPed at 97%for NO cLEaR rEaSoN.
iT wAs a tInY fLuCtUaTiOnNeVeR meAnT tO bE rEcOrDeD.
Yet,ThiS pRoGrAm gAtHeRs oNlY tHoSe sMaLl,MeAnInGlOuS sHiFtS.
meAnInGlOuS
…I'm Doing mY pOtTaGaS— pOdCaStS.
今朝、私が何を話すつもりだったか忘れてしまいました。
まあ、そうかもしれません。
私が映像を撮る場所は普通の場所とは異なります。
なので、これが起こったとき、私は何をしましたか?
私はここに座って、15分以上を覚えてみようとしていました。
昨日、私は実際に覚えてみようとしていました。
私が何を話していたか、私はそれを最終的に覚えていませんでした。
しかし、今、私はあなたと今日のことを話したいと思います。
最初に、私は夜中に特別なエピソードを撮影していました。
私は心臓が痛くなった人のような人なので、
だから、私はそれをしなければなりませんでした。
私は今朝、少しリラックスしました。
しかし、あなたは知っていますか?
私は通常、時間を過ごします。
しかし、私がそれをしなければなりませんでした。
私はとても悲しくなりました。
私はもう一つの例を持っていますが、
私は次に話します。
食べ物がありますか?
食べ物が好きではありませんか?
私は人々がいつも、
私は人々がいつも、
混ざっていると思います。
私はそれを見ます。
その中で、
あなたは何を食べますか?
あなたが最初に好きなものは何ですか?
あなたは今、幸せになることができます。
あなたは後で好きなものを保ちますか?
あなたは今、それを食べることはできません。
しかし、あなたは後で幸せになるでしょう。
しかし、あなたがすべてを食べ終わったら、
結果は、
結果は、
正しく、
同じでありません。
あなたが選んだものは何ですか?
しかし、食べ物を食べる人は、
何が好きですか?
残りは何もありません。
残りは何もありません。
彼らは、
彼らが嫌いなものを食べる必要があります。
ですから、彼らはすでに悪くなります。
残った人は、
何が好きですか?
彼らはすべてを食べ終わったら、
結果は同じです。
なぜなら、
彼らは、
03:01
良いものを食べ終わったからです。
ですから、
あなたは、
あなたが好きなものを、
数時間、
食べ終わったら、
あなたがそうしないなら、
あなたは、
この食べ物の中で、
何もおいしいものを食べることはできません。
このように考えると、
人々は、
意味がないことを考えます。
例えば、
ディズニーランドは、
あなたは、
あなたが最初に行くとき、
人々は、
知らない人々のために、
大きなエリートが、
待っているのを待ちます。
待っているのを待ちます。
しかし、一度、
あなたは、
ディズニーランドに行くことができる、
あなたが最初に行くとき、
あなたの残りの生命。
ですから、
だから私が何をするかを考えると、変なことが起こる。
ディズニーランドに行かない方が良いかもしれない。
でもそれは本当にできない。
でも行くとき、特別な気持ちを感じることはできない。
もし行かないとき、その楽しみを待っているとき、
私のために、最初の時は、
食べ物を食べ終わったときの状態が好きだった。
もし私が食べ物を食べ終わったときに、
それが美味しかったとしても、
それを食べ終わったときに、
次の話題は、学校旅行です。
私は、なぜ多くの学校が京都、広島に行くのかと考えました。
オフィシャルな理由は、
平和や歴史を学ぶためです。
私もそのようなことを気づきました。
でも本当の理由は、
ホテルは、
100人の子供をどこかに連れて行けない。
だからそれは不可能です。
06:00
他の場所は便利ではありません。
また、旅行会社は便利です。
それだけではなく、
私は本当にこのようなことを楽しんでいます。
彼らは何を言いますか。
外国人は本当のこととは異なります。
彼らは本当に似ています。
しかし、これは悪い例です。
それは私の個人的な気持ちです。
彼らはサーノンポップグループのリーダーです。
彼らは最初のリーダーです。
彼らは本物のスターのように見えました。
彼らは素晴らしかったです。
彼らはとても魅力的なキャラクターでした。
彼らは本物のスターのように見えました。
しかし、彼らは本当に素晴らしかった女の子でした。
彼らはグループを一緒に保っていました。
彼らはグループの外側と内側から大きなプレゼントを受け取りました。
これは私の個人的な気持ちです。
これは私の個人的な気持ちです。
しかし、リーダーグループは商業的なものです。
リーダーを誇るために、メンバーがリーダーを誇らせるようになったのです。
特に日本の人々は、
誰もが素晴らしいことを言うことを一緒に思うと、
彼らは素晴らしいことを思う。
彼らは誘われています。
フォークスドリンク、トリックスドリンク、みんなのおかげで、日本人の人々は本当にトリックスドリンクをしているとは思わない。
それと同じように、私が話したスクールトリップについては、本当の核心的なものを見せることができない。
レーダーは本当に何を意味しているかわかりませんが、シャープな意味を持つ作曲家がいません。
例えば、音楽は日本で有名な音楽と同じことです。
私はそれを全く理解できません。
09:04
オーバーレイテッドという言葉は、それを説明することができるだけではありません。
それはただの共有した偽のアイデアです。
それはオーバーレイテッドです。
人々は本当に音楽を得ていませんが、ある理由で、みんなはそれが素晴らしいと感じています。
しかし、Hikaru UtadaとTaro Hakaseは、NHKの昔のテレビ番組で、昨日のビデオでそれを完全に切り抜いていました。
彼らは何が良いかわからないと言いました。
日本の音楽は、彼らは大きな質問をしています。
彼らの頭にマークがあります。
それと同じです。
コマーシャルは、突然の飲み会社です。
彼らはそれに有名なスターを入れました。
それを売っています。
それが本当かどうか。
特にこの飲み会社。
それは全く美味しくはありません。
でも、なぜそれが人気なのか。
なぜなら、彼らはそれに有名なスターを入れました。
日本人は愚かです。
だから彼らはそれを買いました。
この話の最後に、私は言いたいことがあります。
私は本当に言葉が好きではありません。
オブジェクティブかサブジェクティブ。
理由は、あなたはオブジェクティブになることができません。
それは人々が言っている素晴らしい言葉です。
私は以前、
リーダーとメンバーが言いました。
彼らはオブジェクティブになると言いました。
オブジェクティブはただのトラブルです。
トラブル。
彼らは彼らが誰だったかを完全に否定しました。
私はそう思いました。
このリーダーはそのメンバーが本当に好きではありませんでした。
それが大きな悪い思い出になりました。
でも、それは私を困っています。
私はこの最後の特別なエピソードについて話します。
でも、通常、人々は何も起こらないという気持ちを感じます。
深刻な考え方を持っていない人もいます。
しかし、彼らは自分のストーリーを作り、
自分自身を使用しています。
私はそれをできるだけ避けようとしています。
しかし、私はそのようなことをしません。
同時に、私の人生は続きます。
12:06
私の日常の習慣はストーリーを書いています。
しかし、私は知っています。
それはとても小さな、最も低い意味です。
私は生き続ける必要があります。
私がよく話しているのは、
私が友達を作る時の状況です。
何も起こらない状況です。
私はそれを完璧にコントロールできません。
しかし、私がそれを作る時の状況です。
静かにして、私はそれを使用しています。
だから、私はいつもそうではありません。
何も起こらない状況です。
私は自分自身を集中しています。
しかし、私が暑すぎるとき、
私は少しエキサイティングになります。
センサーシステムに反対するのです。
瞑想は同じです。
瞑想とは言葉では、
体の τι過ではなく、
The moment you react to the fact that there's nomeaning, you're making it meaningless.
For example, for your deep thinker, you getshocked or panic cause nothing matters, or youfeel sad or giving up, or get hope, or use thefact that nothing matters as fuel, or just gocrazy.
That's all writing a story, what I've been tryingto do is make my reaction to the feeling thatnothing matters become zero.
Today I'm gonna talk about this here, right now.
I'm here, the kid next door seems to go to areally smart school, and when a kid nearby go to agood school, I get jealous.
I feel jealous and get annoyed by myself, but Idon't like feeling that way.
So since there's no school today, I was thinkingmaybe they were wearing regular clothes causethat.
I guess I still hate to lose, that doesn't goaway, that's why.
The next story, the same story when a famousstory, famous there's a big bad story.
I can't help but care about it and look up manythings.
I was looking it up for a long time this morning,and I regret it.
15:08
I wonder why it took so much time, and it wasprobably cause I was looking this up, so it tooktime in the morning.
I was down about this too.
It's almost like a habit I can't stop.
Once I care about it, I look it up, and there'skind of things about stories.
Everyone else is making a big notice about it, andI join and look it up.
Before I used to think I don't care about themessy things in the story world at all, but whenit feels close, I care.
That's not good, and it's not just the things thatsave you.
But those things that make you feel high are nogood either.
When you feel high, the feeling that nothingmatters comes right after.
For me, there's a chance I might get swallowed bythat feeling that nothing matters.
I also felt really bad this morning.
I recorded the special episode in the middle ofthe night, and my English time was a bit short inthe morning.
While doing that, I couldn't even choose the nameof the show.
I wonder why it took so much time, because I wasspending useless time in the morning.
Even so, I feel really bad about it.
Also, I've been too hard on myself lately.
In the afternoon, I hid my own head so I wouldn'tsleep, and I put power in my whole body muscles soI wouldn't sleep.
For more than 10 years in this period, I get usedto it, even when I make things hard.
Since I get used to it, I thought this is no good.
Why am I taking it easy, really?
So I made myself make it hard again.
That's why I don't know what state I'm in rightnow.
Well, as a student, I kept making things harderand harder, but I got used to it and made it evenharder.
18:13
Then, I got first place in a 1500m run.
I was good at long runs from the start, but I evenpassed the fastest guy in a baseball club and camein first by a lot.
But after 10 years passed just staying home likethis for so long, already in a really deep andspecial state, it's hard to describe.
I feel like I might be taking it easy myself, butI am broken down.
Looking at the result, I think I'm doing okay.
The most important part is how to put power andhow to let it out.
It's really important. I thought I shouldn't breakdown.
If I put too much power, I get too excited or itdoesn't last, so it's really hard.
Also, there are almost no groups or people that Iever fit in.
Groups or people? Not really. I can even say thereare no at all.
No matter what group I enter, it doesn't go well.
When I was a student, of course I didn't fit inany.
When I thought maybe I could share feelings withthose people, I became just a common, ordinaryperson.
Among them, it got boring.
So for example, taking on Japanese instead ofEnglish because the things I talk about, maybe thepodcast would have been better.
Let's say I'm doing that.
That's kind of a good place. I would get bored.
There's no one like me in the world.
But if I met people who are even a little bit likeme, then all of that is safe.
There's nothing special about myself, but I wouldbecome just a common person in this talk.
What I'm saying has no meaning at all, so it'sstrange.
21:08
I feel lonely and think people run to get me.
But if there are similar people around this timeinstead of wanting them to get me,
I want to show my own self more.
If we are similar, it becomes boring.
It doesn't go well.
I had that happen many times before, too.
I was thinking about the show name and the showdescription like I talked about last time and thistime.
It seemed like there are people who ran away to astory that seemed doomed.
There are deep thoughts made by thinkers who stoodup against the feeling that nothing matters.
I want to say clearly that I'm not either one ofthose.
But if I say that, it sounds like I'm putting downthose great thinkers that can never happen.
Comparing myself to great people is too bold, butI also want to make myself different from them.
So it's hard.
Other thinkers fight with that feeling thatnothing matters at first.
They fight with it and then they find their ownmeaning of life.
But it seems fighting with that feeling is reallyhard.
Many thinkers go in a strange way or breakthemselves.
It's a really hard time when I think about that.
I don't know why I could keep going until now.
It's a bit scary.
It's really scary to me.
Even deep thinkers become like this, so I justhave to keep fighting inside this feeling thatnothing matters.
If I move even one millimeter from here, thingswill get really bad.
Yes, now it's night.
There's a home nearby with a kid who has a problemin their mind that parents are strange.
Even when I was a kid, I thought they werestrange.
Dad rides a motorcycle on days off, but I didn'tlike how he looked like he was showing off hiswife to the neighborhood.
24:08
I still don't like it.
It makes me angry.
I made a rule that I must not look when he rideshis motorcycle.
Motorcycle and house, that family is reallycreepy.
The grandma there made a lot of bad memories thatstill haunt me.
Everyone in that family is really weird.
Except the mom.
Also, everyone in the world starts.
They all say like a fixed rule that they brushtheir teeth before sleeping.
But I don't remember being taught that way atschool.
I only remember them saying, brush your teethproperly in the morning and go to school.
So I can't understand why everyone in the worlddoes that all together.
Everyone says, if you don't brush your teeth insleep, you get bad teeth.
But there's no connection at all.
I think there's no proof.
That's true, too.
But anyway, I don't get why they care so muchabout just a part.
They look like that, but they don't brush theirteeth at all in the morning.
So that's doing things backward.
You should brush the most in the morning.
The important thing shouldn't be whether it'smorning or night.
Everyone brushes carelessly.
Anyway, but even though they care so much aboutthat, they don't notice health things at all.
They drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes.
Normally, of course, people in the world drink acrazy amount of alcohol.
Everyone is really too crazy.
There are plenty of people who drink in a way thatwill make their insides organ.
But in a few years, with the amount of sugar, saltand fat, modern people are completely broken.
I don't get I don't know why they only care aboutbrushing teeth a lot.
By the way, even with just the amount of food,that's about the food value.
But besides that, they drink sweet drinks, drinkcoffee or eat sweets.
Now for the next story.
They think I make rules not just for myself, butfor my parents, too.
I make various rules for my parents.
27:06
For example, don't watch TV, but I can't help it.
For example, lately I sent a complaint againstreligion.
She said no to it.
But I can't talk to anyone about this.
So I just sent a complaint against religion.
They said no to it.
She said no to it.
But I can't talk to anyone about this.
So I just have to put rules on my parents evenwhen she said strange things.
Even if I tell them in the end, she break apromise I just have to cry myself to sleep.
It was the same when I said I would go to thehospital and death.
She said no.
The rules keep growing.
I wonder who I am doing it too much.
It's hard to tell which side is right, so I donothing.
I really just have to take the bad result and crymyself to sleep.
That's why it's hard to judge.
I worry about it.
But there's a fact that I just have to stay inthis house.
It's not like I can talk to anyone.
So I'm having a hard time now.
For the next talk, I was imagining myself becominga leader of some group and saying this.
Not a leader of a school club or company leader.
Not a leader of this kind of group.
But a person who becomes a leader of a group.
Now, show business should be a symbol.
So instead of keeping the group together, theyshould be a symbol.
This time, to put pressure on myself, I sang thathere.
I was imagining saying something like that.
Now, at dinner, that onion that wasn't growing.
It tasted completely like a soup.
It was a good state.
The onion was coming out to cabbage and pork.
30:00
Today's taste was like sukiyaki.
I think, well, not sukiyaki.
It was as strong as sukiyaki, but also cookedvegetable, carrot.
It tasted a bit different from before.
Lotus root, bamboo shoot, those things.
Kimchi and shibutsu.
I thought they tasted so good when you ate themwithout burning them.
Boiled shibutsu.
Things that have a good natural taste roots.
They taste quickly, but during a meal.
I was doing that imagination like I said.
Even during a meal, my taste is weak, so I can'tsee it well.
But before I knew it, I was doing that strangeimagination.
Next, I'll talk about this before, right?
When I try to rewind the video and look.
Even though I should have been able to see itbetter than.
The first time I got used to it, I was bored.
But on the other hand, the feeling is weaker thanthe first time.
That's strange.
I feel something was really wrong what I noticedthen was.
When people look at a video, they aren't look atthe screen itself.
But their mind is looking at the fact that theirheart moved.
That's what the mind feels moved by.
So once you get used to it.
Even if you can see it better than the first time.
You feel like this is kind of boring.
And it's like your misunderstanding.
But even if you think it's a misunderstanding.
The mind is made that way.
Even when listening to music, I thought so.
When I listen for many minutes, I get bored.
I compared the start.
This happened during meals too.
Especially when eating sweet things.
When eating sweets, the first bite is tasty.
But right after you get bored.
It's quickly even though you're eating the samething.
When I get to this.
To example, it starts to feel like a normal thing.
But I don't think it's just a normal.
Usually when listening to music, you listen to thesound itself.
And of course, after you notice that.
33:00
You think your feeling moved directly.
Cause it's right.
But it's different.
The mind is looking at whether the feeling movedor not.
Who they moved.
You think I was moved.
Listening to music.
Of course, after you notice that.
You think your feelings moved directly.
Because it's right.
But it's different.
The mind is looking at whether the feeling movedor not.
Who they moved.
You think I was moved.
Listening to music.
Found just now.
Now.
Even if they didn't.
You think it was boring.
The mind is just looking at the feeling again.
More than just listening to music.
This and that.
Now for the next three.
Again.
My parents probably look.
Touching the cup without washing their hands.
I can tell by the sound.
I hear the sound.
Walking right way.
They are touching things in the kitchen.
So I know.
I told them more than 50 times.
But they don't fix it.
Also about music.
Good things about music.
There might be a strange way to say it.
But they state from another existing originalsong.
But they make it in a totally different thing.
Like a new thing.
But they make it in a totally different thing.
Like a new thing.
I feel that's a charm.
Also for me.
This is Bun Bun.
Since my student days.
But I definitely end up liking things that I don'tusually think are good.
Even now.
It's like that.
Even music that junior high school or high schoolgirls listen to.
I sometimes think it's good just now.
A person called Honeyworks.
I think this is an anime song.
Maybe there were a lot of them.
Why does this kind of music happen?
It's true that outside.
It might be for junior high or high school kids.
Or for anime.
And it might not fit me.
But if the music that person originally did wasn'tlike that.
And they just happen to go that way.
Or whether it's for anime or not.
They just match that well.
So that artist might be making it look like thatoutside.
36:04
But if that person's sense match.
It doesn't matter what kind of style they'redoing.
That's why even if it's for junior high school orhigh school kids.
Who I think it's good.
It's good.
Even if the age is different.
Who I think it's good.
If I think it's old.
I can't reach the real good part.
Or rather I can't think there's a real good partfrom the start.
That's why even with idol songs.
The writer makes it to match the idol.
But what that person wanna do.
Music is coming out.
Of course that part what I find interesting isgood.
So before I got into idol songs too.
That's why people who look down on idol songs.
Just because they're idol songs.
Always see the outside part.
It's a waste of waste.
Cause it's a good song.
But they can't accept it.
But I think people are animals that.
For example when you marry someone.
You only see their state right in front of youreyes.
When they got.
And there are suddenly.
Their look and their personality will change.
But even if you can notice that.
Other things fall away.
People definitely forget.
That the world is always changing.
They mistake that this state will last forever.
For example.
When choosing a school.
It's the same they think.
Who they go to the school.
Things will go well in the future.
But that school might be gone in 10 years.
You really don't know what will happen in theworld.
And this is what I was just thinking about.
Toward my father.
When I was a student.
I didn't mean to do it myself.
But I treated him like a stranger.
It looked like I had no interest at all.
And I wonder.
If it looked that way.
I was treated that way at school.
But maybe I was taking it that way myself.
You know.
I worked up to him.
More than from my side.
39:00
It's been good.
I thought.
But I just remember this too.
I try to work up to him.
Many times failed.
There isn't much reaction.
Where it is.
I don't know about this.
Also this.
This is interesting.
But people who are really good at dancing.
Now I'm thinking.
I don't know when I say this.
Before.
I would have thought there weren't level dancers.
But even if the level isn't that high.
People who clearly have a talent for dancing.
Dance are either super smart or not smart at all.
And I feel there's a trend to split in two.
Of course I have.
I haven't taken any numbers.
But it's just my feelings.
But I've been watching for years.
Saying this.
So I feel I'm not right.
It's strange.
Feet were only one side.
I could get it.
But it's not that it's only one side.
But there are many people who are super smart.
People who can dance.
Body movement seems to.
People who clearly have a talent for dancing.
Dance are either super smart or not smart at all.
And I feel there's a trend to split in two.
Of course I haven't taken any numbers.
But it's just my feelings.
But I've been watching for years.
Saying this.
So I feel I'm not right.
It's strange.
Feet were only one side.
I could get it.
But it's not that it's only one side.
But there are many people who are super smart.
People who can dance.
Body movement seems to.
I have no connection at all.
With being smart or not.
Sports are totally different.
Who you actually do them.
Especially soccer and rugby might be so too.
I was thinking just now.
I went to karaoke.
With a guy from doubles.
We didn't talk about that.
I thought I should talk to him more.
But this guy is a bad personality.
So I don't want to talk to him much.
But maybe I was saying no from my side too.
I felt like that way.
42:02
But as I speak like this.
I thought it's like the leftover from when I wasdoing religion after all.
I'm not getting affected by the things from thattime.
But there might be a fixed skill.
That I shouldn't get affected.
That is definitely become a fixed skill.
At least it's a fixed skill.
And I think there is a feeling that I don't wantto get affected.
And I'm not getting affected.
So it's fine.
But how can I say it?
It's not that I'm afraid of living by followingthe things from that time.
But the way of thinking is become current with it.
And this can be helped.
It's like when you are in the countryside.
The locals accent doesn't go away easily just now.
Takuya Kimura.
I wonder if he's close with his wife.
Or who he talks with his daughter like this.
I'm imagining that when I imagine.
I always make it really concrete.
I wonder if they talk.
So far like this.
How about kids in a family?
Where they can get a 1 million yen brand bag.
But parents money goes through Step 2.
That kind of thing.
I was thinking that when I be reacted by the kid.
And said.
Why don't you try buying a brand bag?
And they go out together with their daughter.
So I wonder if that's how it is.
And no matter how much rich the house is.
What kind of steps are there to get a brand bag.
I was thinking.
I wonder if he has time to think about it.
About his song.
But he probably thinks in gaps of time.
I don't remember also.
I was worrying about study.
But there was a time.
I could think it was good.
It wasn't useless.
If I study math with fewer textbooks.
How it would be.
If I made a girlfriend in high school.
And was going out with her.
45:02
And went to Tokyo.
If that girlfriend were to stay back a year.
Would I say come to Tokyo.
Or let's get married.
I feel I would say something like that.
I was thinking my house would differently hated.
Because privates universally cost money.
And I was thinking up to that point.
Also I have various regret.
And I was thinking up to that point.
Also I have various regret.
I should have talked to my uncle more.
I could have asked various questions about myselftoo.
I was thinking more about that next at last.
The first the difference between me and otherthinkers.
Who say life has no meaning.
It's that I don't make a story myself.
I don't make my own new meaning of life.
That's what I thought.
But still I feel meaning.
And my own way and life.
Live and not changing myself life.
Also because I feel meaning.
And in that sense.
Maybe it's not so different I thought.
But even if it's not so different.
For me it's not that I have some idea.
But it's just a world to keep myself from breakingmy daily habit.
It's also that heat of the belief towards that isdifferent too.
It's not that I believe it.
When I quit religion.
I stopped believing these things.
And I don't believe my daily habit.
It's a heat of that world belief.
You know the difference.
It's not which one is good.
But I can't believe.
So say it differently.
I'm not drawing a story after all.
I make a show and treat it.
And I keep doing that.
But after this hard time passed.
I hope this change energy to be exact.
I just need to notice.
From the bottom of my heart that's worrying.
But the show description stupid to do ever again.
Right?
For me.
I don't go that far.
I can't fight against my feeling.
I can't give up.
