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10. The Lobster Quadrille
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply and drew the back ofone flapper across his eyes.
He looked at Alice and tried to speak, but for aminute or two sobs choked his voice.
Same as if he had a bone in his throat, said thegriffin, and it set to work shaking him and
punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtlerecovered his voice, and, with tears running down
his cheeks, he went on again. You may not havelived much under the sea, I haven't, said Alice,
and perhaps you were never even introduced to alobster.Alice began to say I once tasted,
but checked herself hastily, and said no, never,so you can have no idea what a delightful
thing a lobster quadrille is. No, indeed, saidAlice. What sort of a dance is it?
Why, said the griffin, you first form into a linealong the seashore.
Two lines, cried the Mock Turtle. Seals, turtles,salmon, and so on, then, when you've cleared all
the jellyfish out of the way. That generally takessome time, interrupted the griffin.
You advance twice? Each with a lobster as apartner, cried the griffin.
Of course, the Mock Turtle said, advance twice,set to partners.
Change lobsters, and retire in same order,continued the griffin.
Then, you know, the Mock Turtle went on, you throwthe
The lobsters, shouted the griffin, with a boundinto the air.
As far out to sea as you can. Swim after them,screamed the griffin.
Turn a somersault in the sea, cried the MockTurtle, capering wildly about.
Change lobsters again, yelled the griffin at thetop of its voice.
Back to land again, and that's all the firstfigure, said the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping
his voice, and the two creatures, who had beenjumping about like mad things all this time,
sat down again very sadly and quietly, and lookedat Alice.
It must be a very pretty dance, said Alice timidly.
Would you like to see a little of it? said the Mock Turtle.
Very much indeed, said Alice.
Come, let's try the first figure, said the MockTurtle to the griffin.
We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shallsing?
Oh, you sing, said the griffin. I've forgotten thewords.
So they began solemnly dancing round and roundAlice, every now and then treading
on her toes when they passed too close, and wavingtheir forepaws to mark the time,
while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly andsadly.
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Will you walk a little faster? said a whiting to asnail.
There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles alladvance.
They are waiting on the shingle, will you come andjoin the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will youjoin the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won'tyou join the dance?
You can really have no notion how delightful itwill be.
When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to sea.
But the snail replied too far, too far. And gave alook askance.
Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he wouldnot join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, wouldnot join the dance.
Would not, could not, would not, could not, couldnot join the dance.
What matters at how far we go? his scaly friendreplied.
There is another shore, you know, on the otherside.
The further off from England the nearer is toFrance.
Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but come andjoin the dance.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will youjoin the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won'tyou join the dance?
Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,said Alice,
feeling very glad that it was over at last, and Ido so like that curious song about the whiting.
Oh, as to the whiting, said the mock turtle, they,you've seen them, of course?
Yes, said Alice, I've often seen them at din, shechecked herself hastily.
I don't know where din may be, said the mockturtle,
but if you've seen them so often, of course youknow what they're like.
I believe so, Alice replied thoughtfully.
They have their tails in their mouths, and they'reall over crumbs.
You're wrong about the crumbs, said the mockturtle,
crumbs would all wash off in the sea. But theyhave their tails in their mouths,
and the reason is, here the mock turtle yawned andshut his eyes,
tell her about the reason and all that, he said tothe griffon.
The reason is, said the griffon, that they wouldgo with the lobsters to the dance.
So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to falla long way.
So they got their tails fast in their mouths. Sothey couldn't get them out again. That's all.
Thank you, said Alice, it's very interesting.
I never knew so much about a whiting before.
I can tell you more than that, if you like, saidthe griffon.
Do you know why it's called the whiting?
I never thought about it, said Alice.
Why?
It does the boots and shoes, the griffon repliedvery solemnly.
Alice was thoroughly puzzled. Does the boots andshoes?
She repeated in a wondering tone.
Why, what are your shoes done with? said the griffon.
I mean, what makes them so shiny?
Alice looked down at them, and considered a littlebefore she gave her answer.
They're done with blacking, I believe.
Boots and shoes under the sea, the griffon went onin a deep voice,
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are done with the whiting. Now you know.
And what are they made of? Alice asked in a toneof great curiosity.
Souls and eels, of course, the griffon repliedrather impatiently,
any shrimp could have told you that.
If I'd been the whiting, said Alice, whosethoughts were still running on the song,
I'd have said to the porpoise, keep back, please,we don't want you with us.
They were obliged to have him with them, the mockturtle said,
no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.
Wouldn't it really? said Alice in a tone of greatsurprise.
Of course not, said the mock turtle, why, if afish came to me,
and told me he was going a journey, I should saywith what porpoise.
Don't you mean purpose? said Alice.
I mean what I say, the mock turtle replied in anoffended tone.
And the griffon added come, let's hear some ofyour adventures.
I could tell you my adventures, beginning fromthis morning, said Alice a little timidly,
but it's no use going back to yesterday, because Iwas a different person then.
Explain all that, said the mock turtle.
No, no. The adventures first, said the griffon inan impatient tone,
explanations take such a dreadful time.
So Alice began telling them her adventures fromthe time when she first saw the white rabbit.
She was a little nervous about it just at first,the two creatures got so close to her,
one on each side, and opened their eyes and mouthsso very wide,
but she gained courage as she went on.
Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got tothe part about her repeating you are old,
father William, to the caterpillar, and the wordsall coming different,
and then the mock turtle drew a long breath, andsaid that's very curious.
It's all about as curious as it can be, said thegriffon.
It all came different. The mock turtle repeatedthoughtfully.
I should like to hear her try and repeat somethingnow. Tell her to begin.
He looked at the griffon as if he thought it hadsome kind of authority over Alice.
Stand up and repeat tis the voice of the sluggard,said the griffon.
Have a creature's order one about, and make onerepeat lessons.
Thought Alice, I might as well be at school atonce.
However she got up and began to repeat it, but herhead was so full of the lobster quadrille,
that she hardly knew what she was saying, and thewords came very queer indeed.
Tis the voice of the lobster, I heard him declare.
You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.
As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose.
Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out histoes.
Later additions continued as follows.
When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark.
And will talk in contemptuous tones of the shark.
But, when the tide rises and sharks are around.
His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.
That's different from what I used to say when Iwas a child, said the griffon.
Well, I never heard it before, said the mockturtle, but it sounds uncommon nonsense.
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Alice said nothing, she had sat down with her facein her hands,
wondering if anything would ever happen in anatural way again.
I should like to have it explained, said the mockturtle.
She can't explain it, said the griffon hastily. Goon with the next verse.
But about his toes? The mock turtle persisted. Howcould he turn them out with his nose, you know?
It's the first position in dancing? Alice said,but was dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing,
and longed to change the subject. Go on with thenext verse,
the griffon repeated impatiently, it begins I passby his garden.
Alice did not dare to disobey, though she feltsure it would all come wrong,
and she went on in a trembling voice. I pass byhis garden, and marked, with one eye.
How the owl and the panther were sharing a pie.
Later additions continued as follows.
The panther took pie crust, and gravy, and meat.
While the owl had the dish as its share of thetreat.
When the pie was all finished, the owl, as a boon.
Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon.
While the panther received knife and fork with agrowl.
And concluded the banquet.
What is the use of repeating all that stuff, themock turtle interrupted,
if you don't explain it as you go on. It's by farthe most confusing thing I ever heard.
Yes, I think you'd better leave off, said the griffon,
and Alice was only too glad to do so. Shall we tryanother figure of the lobster quadrille?
The griffon went on. Or would you like the mockturtle to sing you a song?
Oh, a song, please, if the mock turtle would be sokind, Alice replied, so eagerly that the
griffon said, in a rather offended tone, hmm. Noaccounting for tastes. Sing her turtle soup,
will you, old fellow? The mock turtle sigheddeeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked
with sobs, to sing this. Beautiful soup, so richand green. Waiting in a hot terrine.
Who for such dainties would not stoop? Soup of theevening, beautiful soup.
Soup of the evening, beautiful soup. Bo, ootifulsoo, oop.
Bo, ootiful soo, oop. Soo, oop of the e, e,evening.
Beautiful, beautiful soup. Beautiful soup. Whocares for fish?
Game, or any other dish? Who would not give allelse for 2p?
Any worth only of beautiful soup? Pennyworth onlyof beautiful soup?
Bo, ootiful soo, oop. Bo, ootiful soo, oop.
Soo, oop of the e, e, evening. Beautiful,beautiful soup.
Chorus again, cried the griffon, and the mockturtle had just begun to repeat it,
when a cry of the trial's beginning was heard inthe distance.
Come on, cried the griffon, and, taking Alice bythe hand,
it hurried off, without waiting for the end of thesong.
What trial is it? Alice panted as she ran, but thegriffon only answered come on,
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and ran the faster, while more and more faintlycame, carried on the breeze that
followed them, the melancholy words. Soo, oop ofthe e, e, evening.
Beautiful, beautiful soup.
