自己ケアの必要性
Okay, welcome back to Jay and Eri Podcast. I'm Jay. I'm Eri.
So, how are you doing? Today I want to share a conversation I had with Jay.
Yeah, is this about the conversation earlier? Yes. Yeah.
So, I've been feeling
not well. Yeah. Yeah. You were saying you were not feeling like well lately. Like tired.
Yes. Or not powerful. I don't feel powerful. Yeah. Like I used to. Yeah.
To be honest, I didn't understand. Like, I didn't understand why. Because like,
we made a change in our, like, in our situation where you stopped working because it was very
difficult for you to go back to work after, you know, after your mat leave. So, mat leave,
maternity leave. Ah. Right? So it was, you felt like it was difficult to go back to the job
and travel like that. Yes. And pick up kids and stuff like that. Yeah. So, you.
Have more time. Yeah. Yeah. I've been feeling not well. Yeah. And for me. And I talked to you.
Yeah. And our conversation. Yeah. After our conversation, I felt better. So, I want to
share this. Yeah. Yeah. And hope that by sharing my experience, it might help somebody's too.
仕事と家庭のバランス
Yeah. Go for it. Yeah. So, yeah. So, I not working. I'm currently job hunting. Yeah.
And so, you work full-time and my children go to daycare. Our children. Our children go to daycare.
And during that time, I have time. My time. Yeah. Yeah. And it was, I was happy for you to
quit your job and have more time, you know, taking care of the kids,
taking them to daycare but also, you know, all the stuff that you want to do. Yeah. Yeah. I know.
I have my time. But I just keep working. Working. Moving. Yeah. No stop. Yeah. It's like you always
feel like you need to keep doing stuff. Yeah. Because I feel bad for you and kids.
No. Because you commute all the way. Like, takes too long. And our kids go to daycare.
Even sometimes they don't want to go. Yeah. And I at home. Yeah. And if I don't do anything,
I feel bad. I feel guilty. So, I feel I have to do something. Yeah. No. You don't have to.
You don't have to do things all the time. Like, you quitting your job and staying home
and taking care of the house and taking care of the kids and all that stuff was
something that I really wanted you to do because it made you a lot happier. And I, like,
the month you went back to work, it was like, like, you were tired and, like, angry all the time.
Not angry but, like, frustrated. Frustrated all the time. And, yeah. Time. Yeah. And
tired. Pushing me. There's no space. Yeah. But now you have so much time. And
that's good because you can get the things you need done but then you can also take time for
yourself. Yes. Because, like I told you, you need, you need to, like, take some time once a day,
once every few days, however you want to do it. You need to take some time to just sit and do
nothing. Just relax. I know. I thought I was fine without those times. I just spent time by myself.
Means I have my own time. Yeah. But no. Like, did you feel like you didn't want to do it because
I'm working and kids are at school so you feel bad? I feel I shouldn't. Oh, no. Like,
take your time. Yeah. But also, you know, our kids are young. Mm-hmm. So they keep around
when they are home. Yeah. So I can't do what I want. Yeah. So I think, oh, I have to do this
before they come home. Yeah. And I always check the clock. Oh, I have to pick up the kids. No,
I have to cook dinner before pick up time. Yeah. Oh, I want to clean here. I want to organize here.
Oh, I need to get this before they come back. And I have to be perfect before you come home.
I have no idea why you think that. Because, like, I'd much rather you take the time to,
you know, sit and relax. Because I think, like, as far as I've known you,
自己癒しの重要性
you're not one to actually just sit down and do nothing. You don't usually do that.
Mm-hmm. Especially since we have kids. Yeah. Since we've had kids. But even still,
like, even before we had kids. Money? Yeah. Because we are lazy. I wouldn't say. I thought we
are. No, not as much as you think. Not as much as you think. But, like, I still remember
when we were living at the previous place. Yeah, by myself. Yeah, like, when we were,
when I moved in. Yes. You, the only time I actually ever saw you just sit and relax
was, like, in the morning before you had to go to work. And, like, you were eating your breakfast
before you go to work. And then, like, at night after the laundry, after dinner,
it's pretty much the same. Of course, without the kids, you know, on weekends we would watch
movies more and stuff like that. But you were still doing something. What I'm talking about is
taking the time, yeah, to sit down and watch a movie. That's one thing. But also just, just, like,
like, just sitting down doing absolutely nothing. Yeah, because when I watch TV,
I follow laundry. Yeah, you're always multitasking. Yes. Yeah. I feel like you need to just kind of
let your body just, yeah, because there's sleep. And I think, like, what you do is you're doing
all these things, and then you go to sleep. And then you wake up the next day. So there's, like,
no time between for you to just, like, relax before you sleep. Your relaxation is your sleep.
But you should have time when you're awake to just relax.
But I thought, so the studying or learning something to work from home, I thought it's my
relax. Because it was kind of fun. But physically, no. That's not. Yeah, it's not relaxing.
Yeah. Like, you don't, I, you basically, everybody's different. Some people need to relax,
you know, every day. Like me. Yeah. But if you, you might be a type of person that's like,
one day you could be working a lot of working on a lot of things. And the next day, you take
extra time to just relax. You know, like one day on Monday off kind of thing. Yeah, I don't need
every day. But I need those time. Yeah, you do. You do. And you'll notice that when you
take that time, you'll feel a lot better. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. So if you don't give me those
advice, I think I have, I have to work with mine more. This is the first time. It's not my,
it's my fault. Yeah. Well, like, this is the first time where you've actually
said yes to this, because I've told you this many, many times before, where you need to just
sit down and relax. Like you just need to do nothing. That's why I remember on Sundays.
On Sundays, it was a day where I would do everything so that you can just, like, relax.
But you can never relax on Sundays. Yeah, since I quit my job. Yeah. I think, oh,
I have to do something too. Nah, like, I can understand like you need to you want to do
something to be productive. Like being productive is one thing. But for example, do you work when
you were going to work? Do you work the whole time? Or do you have a break? Do you have lunchtime?
Just like that. Yeah, exactly. I told you, like, lights off, nobody's speaking.
That's not relax. That's true. That's true. Oh, yeah. So I think like, what you need to do is,
yeah, just take, take some time to just do nothing. Like watching a movie in the middle of the day
with a coffee. And yeah, I also realized those, those my actions. It doesn't good to my family,
too. Well, also, like, I can't be kind, kind, kind to my kids, especially our son. Yeah.
Yeah. I think like, if you think of it this way, in a day, especially being home now,
you can do all these things, you can get all these things done, which you're happy to do.
Yes. But your mentality is like, I got to get all these things done before the kids
自分の時間の重要性
come back home. Yes. So that makes you kind of stress a little bit. You're making yourself
stress out. Yeah, always pushing for something. Yeah, you're always putting something on your back.
Whereas if, if there's like something like, oh, I need to do this thing. Ask yourself,
like, can it wait until tomorrow? Can I, can I like, is it important? Or
like, what's, what's more important in that moment? Do you feel like you're like,
oh, I gotta do all these things. And then if you feel like you have to do all those things,
then do them and then take the next day off. Or what you do is you feel like, oh, I gotta do all
these things. Take some of them, move them to the next day, and then take some time for yourself that
day. Whichever way you want to do it. Everybody's different. Yeah, but some things I do when I want
to do makes other day easier. Yeah, but you're still not taking that time. Yeah, so I have to
choose. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's what I mean. Either you go, okay, I feel like I'm a little
stressed out because I have to pick up the kids, but I want to do all these things before then.
But if one of those things can be moved to the next day, then take your time. Or you do all of
it and then make sure that next day you just take your time. So for example, we did the laundry
already. Laundry's done. So you don't have to do that. That means you can take that time and just
chill. Yes. So I decided to watch one movie tomorrow. Yeah. And do nothing. Just do nothing.
Like just drink a coffee. Yes. And watch a movie. And eat something that I love. Yeah. Yeah. Sit
down. Grab a whole bunch of like the kids stuffed animals, like the bunny rabbit stuff. Hold it while
you're watching it. And talk to them. Sure. Whatever you like. But yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. Yeah.
Then I will miss my kids and cry. Maybe. Or you're just kind of like, actually this is great. I'm glad
they're at daycare. I hope I will be. Yeah. Well, just always think that you don't have to feel bad
just because I'm working. I feel bad. No, you don't have to. You don't have to. It doesn't. Like, I don't.
Like, you know me. I know. I know. Yes. Yeah. If you want to just like sit down and do nothing,
go sit down and do nothing. It's fine. Yeah. I know you feel happy if I enjoy my day. Yeah. I know.
But I couldn't. But I try. Good. To make, to have my own time. Relax. Just enjoy your day. And be
nice to family. Yes. That's the one of the main reasons I quit my job and choose to do something
else. So I try. Good. Good. Yeah. But I'm glad you said to me, no, you have to do like you have to
have your own time. Yeah. Just relax. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Because I think if you want a better way
to look at it, if you fill up your day with all these things, and you don't take time for yourself,
I feel like you're wasting an opportunity. Because for me, if I could stay home and do nothing,
I will do it. So I feel like you have this opportunity. I'm happy you have this opportunity.
Stay home, take some time and just do nothing. Okay, I know you want to do things. But if you
want to do if you want to fill up your whole day with all of this like, crap you need to do. Right?
You might as well just go back to work. Yeah. No, exactly. I don't want to. Yeah. No. Yeah. So
please. Yeah, but I think many people or mother feel the same. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they do. Especially
in Japan. I feel like, like, in Japanese society, it's a lot harder for Japanese women to just
chill. Like, just, I feel like, no, I don't know. It's a cultural thing. Maybe it's probably cultural.
But yeah. You know, like, take your time. Yeah, I think so. So but yeah, thank you.
So what's that like, like the just think about like, when you feel like you just you have too
自己ケアの重要性
much on your shoulders. What is it? Koshi ga omoi, right? No. Koshi ga omoi wa when you don't want to
do anything. Exactly. So I don't want to relax. No, you don't want to do anything. You just want
to sit and do nothing. Yeah. Koshi ga omoi, right? Koshi ga omoi wa when you have to do something,
but you don't want to do. Yeah. Okay. I get what you mean. But kind of similar. No.
I see. Take it easy. Yeah. Take it easy. There's no point.
I think that's one of two Japanese
problems. Nationality. Cultural, like, ethic.
Ethic. Cultural ethic. Like, it's your ethic to just keep doing stuff. If you have the time,
keep doing it. And feel some beauty. Is that life? Is that life, though? Like,
sometimes just sitting down and like, yeah, yeah. You know? Yeah, some people can do.
Some people can't. So I'm one of those people. But so, okay. Do you want to tell
some, do you want to tell something to people who is like me? Like, message. Message, dozo.
It's basically just what we're talking about. Just like, what's so important that you need to do
that, you know, like, is it important to get certain things around the house done right away?
Like, can you just sit down for a little bit, then go and do it? You can. You don't need to do
everything. Because like, once you keep, you know, doing things, like, I need to finish this,
I need to finish this, I need to finish this. And it's like, you're just going to keep finding
new things to do. You know what I mean? Whereas you can just kind of like, sit down and relax.
So, taking care of yourself. It's important. More important. Yeah, for your mental health. It's
it's one of the most important things. Yeah, I know. It's good. Like working hard. Yeah. Thinking
about house. But take care of yourself first. And then that brings more
happiness. Happiness. Yeah. More happiness, more stability, you know. Stability. Stability.
Stability is like, when you feel like everything is balanced. Yes, I understand. Yeah.
So, just relax. Yeah, that's it. That's it. All right. Well, I think that's it for this episode.
Yes, thank you for listening. Yeah, thank you. And hopefully, this can reach the right audience
and help them. Help them relax. Relax. Yeah, I'm, I'd like to the people feels
relaxed after this podcast. Yeah, yeah. If you can feel relaxed after this podcast, that's great.
Anyways, that's it for us. Yes. All right. Take care. Bye-bye.
