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I still have that ringing in my ears, Julia, likea constant hum after a concert.
That is just the adrenaline finally leaving yoursystem, Martin.
Maybe you're right, but it has been 18 monthssince I sat across a table from someone new.
18 months since my last date.
I see. 18 months is a long time to keep your heartbehind a glass shield.
It felt like I was learning to walk again ortrying to speak a language I had forgotten.
And how was she? This girl from Lithuania?
I will tell you. Her name is Elena, and she islike nothing I expected.
Tell me about the moment you saw her.
She was standing by the entrance of that smalljazz club,
looking completely calm while I was a mess inside.
You a mess? The Great Martin? The Guide ofMomentum?
I was overthinking everything, wondering if myshirt was too formal or
if I would run out of things to say.
That is the irony of your life, Martin. You coachpeople on action, but you were frozen.
Exactly. I felt like a beginner again, trapped inthe fear of making a mistake.
So, did the conversation flow, or was it astruggle?
It was fascinating because she has this way oflooking at you, very direct, very honest.
That sounds intimidating.
It was, but in a way that made me want to be mybest self.
Did you find yourself performing, or were youactually there?
That is the problem. I don't know yet.
What do you mean?
I left the date feeling a mix of excitement and astrange kind of anxiety.
Like a cliffhanger in a movie where you don't knowthe ending.
Exactly. I am interested, deeply interested, but Iam also terrified of breaking my peace.
03:04
Peace is often just another word for beingcomfortably alone, Martin.
You might be right, but you look like you needsome peace yourself, Julia.
Is it that obvious?
You have been rubbing your temples for the last 20minutes.
My office in the multinational is becoming a giantpressure cooker this month.
I thought HR was supposed to be the calmdepartment.
Not when you have to manage people like Robert.
Robert? Is he the one who always interrupts thetraining sessions?
He is an absolute nightmare, Martin. A completeenergy vampire.
What happened today?
I don't even want to get into the details nowbecause it will ruin my mood.
That bad?
I will tell you more about Robert later,
but let's just say he makes me want to quit my jobtwice a day.
The anchor is starting to feel the weight of theship, isn't she?
I spent four hours today listening to middlemanagers complaining about burnout.
And who listens to the person listening to theburnout?
Usually, I just go to my garden and look at myplants in silence.
But today the silence wasn't enough?
No, because my phone keeps buzzing with emailsmarked as urgent.
They don't understand that you are a human being,not a psychological vending machine.
I feel like I am performing two roles at once, andboth are wearing me out.
You are the one who tells me that we need to nameour emotions to tame them.
I know, but knowing the theory doesn't make theheadache go away.
What is the one thing that made you feel the moststressed today?
A meeting about productivity optimization thatfelt like an interrogation.
Those words sound like the antithesis ofeverything we do here.
It is, Martin. It feels like a lie.
Maybe we need to apply some of your mindfulnesstricks to your own boss.
My boss is a person who thinks relaxing is a wasteof billable hours.
He doesn't see people. He only sees charts andefficiency ratios.
It makes me feel invisible, even though my job isto make others feel seen.
That is a very lonely place to be, Julia. But youare not invisible here.
Here, your precision and your empathy are thefoundations of everything.
Thank you, Martin. I needed to hear that before wehit record.
But back to your mystery woman. What was thehighlight of the night?
06:03
We were talking about our childhoods and shedescribed the Baltic Sea in winter.
She used words that made me feel the cold air onmy skin.
I realized I wasn't just listening to a story. Iwas experiencing her world.
That is the power of a real connection.
It takes you out of your own head and puts you insomeone else's heart.
She told me something that really stuck in my mindabout Lithuania.
What was it?
She said that in her country, they have a sayingabout not counting your chickens before they
hatch.
We have that in English too, Martin.
I know, but the way she said it made me feel likeI was already planning the next six months.
You were projecting your future onto a person youjust met.
I was already imagining her sitting in my livingroom, reading her books while I worked.
That is the Martin way. Always five miles ahead ofthe present moment.
It's a habit I can't seem to break, even withpeople.
Maybe that is why you feel so much anxiety aboutit.
Because I am not dating her. I am dating a versionof her I created in my head.
Precisely. You are not allowing her to be amystery.
She is a mystery, though. She talks about herchildhood like it was a different planet.
That sounds lovely and grounded.
She is very grounded, which is exactly what I needwhen my head is in the clouds.
Do you have a second date planned?
She suggested going for a walk in the forest thisSaturday.
A forest walk? That is a very Julia type of date.
I thought of you immediately when she said it.
It will force you to be present, Martin. No jazzclubs to distract you.
I am worried I will find the silence between usawkward.
Silence is only awkward if you are trying to hidesomething.
I am trying to hide my fear of being vulnerableafter so long.
09:02
She probably feels exactly the same way.
Do you think so?
We are all just children in adult clothes tryingto find a connection.
That is a very anchor thing to say.
It's the truth I see every day in HR, Martin.
People come to my office pretending to be strong,but they are just tired.
They are tired of the masks and the performance.
Does it make you cynical about people?
No. It makes me more compassionate, but it is alsovery draining.
I spend my whole day holding space for others, butsometimes I feel like I have no space for myself.
Well, we should probably check our notes for thenext official episode.
You mean the one about AI chatbots?
Exactly. I have been doing some research on howmuch we can actually trust them.
That is a huge topic. People use them foreverything now.
But they don't always know how to frame theirquestions properly.
Right. It's all about the context you provide.
I want us to talk about the different profilesthese bots have when they answer.
And the risks, Martin. We can't forget the risksof relying too much on them.
They are powerful tools, but they can be dangerousif you don't handle them with care.
It's like having a supercar, but not knowing howto drive.
That is a great metaphor. I'll add it to thescript.
When are we releasing this one?
This coming Sunday. I think it's the perfecttiming.
Good. I have a lot to say about the psychologicalimpact of talking to machines.
I'm looking forward to it, but now let's actuallystart the recording for today.
OK. Let me just adjust my chair.
Are we going to talk about the mindset shiftfirst?
Yes. Let's stick to the plan.
OK. Three, two, one.
By the way, did I tell you what Robert did withthe coffee machine this morning?
No, but I can imagine it was something... selfish.
It was worse than that. He actually tried to...
