第5510回 Real Juggle in japanSpectrum & Momentum

このエピソードは思考整理のための独り語りです。メンタルヘルスや発達特性を背景に、日常の悩 みや感情をそのまま話しています。聞き流しても問題ありません。

 This episode is a personal audio journal on daily struggles, mental health, andneurodiversity. It is meant to be listened to casually in the background.

このポッドキャストは、生きづらさ・メンタルヘルス・家庭問題を中心に、 日常で起きる出来事や思考を、感情を煽らず淡々と語る雑談ポッドキャストです。親子関係の衝突、家庭内トラブル、機能不全家族。 「普通」や「当たり前」とされる家族像や会話が成立しない現実を扱います。 発達障害（ASD / ADHD）、うつ病、双極性障害、不安障害、社会不安、幸福恐怖、強迫性障害（OCD）。 個人の特性と、家庭・社会環境が噛み合わないことで生じる問題を取り上げます。 宗教二世として育った経験から、 オカルトやスピリチュアルを信じて自分を誤魔化しながら生きることができない感覚についても語ります。 物事を都合よく解釈して安心することができず、 現実をそのまま見てしまうことによる生きづらさを扱います。 長期間の引きこもり、無職、就職活動の失敗、働けない現実。社会復帰の難しさや、将来への不安を、理想論ではなく事実として話します。 難病である潰瘍性大腸炎の可能性を抱えながら、 引きこもり状態のため十分な治療に繋がれない状況と、体調不安が日常生活に与える影響についても触れます。 人間関係のトラウマや、 新たなトラウマを作らないために距離を取るという選択。 人と関わる必要性を理解しつつも、発達障害が理解されにくい現実の中での葛藤を語ります。 哲学やニヒリズムを背景に、 存在の意味を求めるのではなく、 世の中を都合よく解釈する考え方そのものへの違和感や、人の思考の矛盾、浅はかさをスピリチュアルに逃げず考察します。 前向きさや希望を押し付ける番組ではありません。 答えを出すこともしません。 メンタルヘルス、発達障害、家庭問題、生きづらさを抱える人に向けた、静かで重めのトーク番組です。

This podcast focuses on mental health, neurodiversity, and family issues, discussed calmly and without emotional exaggeration. It covers parent-child conflict, dysfunctionalfamilies, and situations where so-called “normal” family dynamics do not work.Topics include ASD / ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders,social anxiety, fear of happiness, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),exploring how personal traits clash with family and social environments.Growing up in a religious household, I talk about the inability to rely on occult or spiritual beliefs to comfort or deceive myself, and the difficulty of facing reality without convenient explanations. The podcast addresses long-term social withdrawal, unemployment, failed job searches, and the realistic difficulty of returning to society. I also discuss the possibility of living with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness, while being unable to access proper treatment due to isolation, and how physical uncertainty affects daily life.Human relationships and trauma, choosing distance to avoid creating new wounds, and the struggle of living in a society where neurodiversity is rarely understood are recurring themes. Rather than seeking meaning, this podcastexamines how people conveniently interpret reality, the contradictions in human thinking, and social absurdities — without spiritual escape or comforting narratives. No self-help. No optimism. No answers. A quiet, heavy podcast forthose dealing with mental health issues, neurodiversity, family conflict, and the difficulty of living in reality as it is.

サマリー

ポッドキャストでは、タイトルや話し方を考えながら、過去の失敗から新しい表現方法を模索しています。フリーランスになった彼は、自分の話し方や食事について考え、高校時代の出席賞について意見を述べます。また、日本でのジャグリング文化や、物理学におけるスペクトルと運動量の関係について探ります。さらに、日本の食文化におけるキムチの紹介や、料理に使われる他の材料について議論しています。

失敗との向き合い

Hello and welcome to my podcast. Thanks for tuning in. Here's what happened.

Firstly, yesterday, I find my failure.

Recently, I also speak in English on the podcast.

This episode, on this episode, I have failed. So, I confused and I was thinking for 30 minutes.

Very long time. It's very long time. I might record again. My plan is to do like this.

But, it's my failure. I made a mistake.

Next, I don't wanna think about one thing.

Recently, I've been thinking about podcast title. I'm not sure.

But, yesterday, because there is something in my mind. I will get cold.

So, I don't wanna think about one thing. Long time.

Using chat GPT, I've been thinking, for example, involve toward of spectrum.

And, it's important to make rhythm. Good rhythm is important for me.

Good rhythm is important.

And, next, I wanna change way of talking.

More emotional, I want to talk.

Kind of, one years ago, roughly one years ago, I tried changing my way of speaking.

But, it was failure.

So, I revert to the original way.

And, now, I'm not sure what I should.

I'm not sure. I wanna talk like podcaster who I'm listening to.

But, my podcast is something strong.

And, struggling and struggle and real struggle.

So, obviously different.

新しい方向性の模索

Next is about the podcaster.

He quit. It seems that he quit.

He quit. He seemed to quit his job.

And, he is now freelancer.

He teach some English.

And, he is doing. He has been doing something.

So, he can stay at the hotel for several days.

Actually, he was staying hotel for two weeks, three weeks.

So, I'm a bit jealous.

Let's return to the original topic.

I wanna change my way of speaking on the podcast.

But, I can't find. It bothers me.

But, I have been thinking. It's no meaning.

Speaking or way of speaking, the way I'm doing right now has no meaning.

But, if I speak funny and unique, it's obviously terrible in this podcast program.

I'm not sure. Whatever. I should be natural.

Or, I should change my way of speaking.

Next. I'm not sure.

Also, I'm not sure.

食事の準備

Soybeans. About soybeans for lunch.

Very, very confused.

I use. I'm not sure.

How much. How much soybeans.

And, how much water.

Water.

Water.

Water.

And, eventually.

I decided.

I use.

A little bit more water.

It will be pretty much liquid.

I put on the tofu.

I put salt on the tofu.

I put it in refrigerator one day.

And, I'm gonna use it.

Next.

出席賞の考察

Next talk is about perfect attendance award.

I think it's strange. It's no meaning.

Coach.

In high school days.

No, no, no.

My high school.

High school that I went to has this award.

As a student, my friend didn't seem to enjoy his school life.

And, he wasn't much studying.

He wasn't much into studying.

But, eventually, at graduation ceremony, he got this award.

He got perfect attendance award.

He got perfect attendance award.

He wasn't much into studying.

So, I had been thinking.

Why did he enter this school?

He hung out school days.

But, he got this award.

He was sure.

So, eventually, he didn't.

Maybe he didn't regret something.

Anything.

But, this award has some problem.

Exam is getting cold.

But, he will force himself to go to school.

He will force himself to go to school.

And, he will get some cold.

He will give some cold to someone.

It's problem.

And, they wanna get this award.

And, I think it's important.

It's worth to continue something.

To continue is very important thing.

So, there is something I'm continuing.

But, if someone get cold and they force themselves to go to school.

And, they will fall asleep.

They will fall asleep.

It's terrible.

But, they will get this award.

Next.

Yesterday, I found musician.

Girls, woman musician.

Musician of woman.

She has talent enough.

But, she still.

She isn't yet popular.

She has been making music since she is roughly 5 years old.

It was amazing.

And, she entered acting school.

So, she can dance and sing.

So, she is great at dancing.

She is great at dancing.

I'm sorry her.

It's complicated.

He has a lot of talent.

But, she isn't popular yet.

For many years.

Next.

キムチと日本の食文化

Next corner is kimchi.

Yesterday, I had green onion and pork.

It's Japanese food.

And, maybe shirataki.

And, hakusai.

Yesterday, she didn't use alcohol.

But, this taste was similar to alcohol.

And, potato salad is good taste.

And, flavor also good and amazing.

Thank you for listening. Please follow this program. See you again.