ふちゃぶりに対しての上手い返し選手権

00:00

Welcome to Kevin's English Room Podcast!

Yo!

So...

This...

I actually wanted to do some trick but I couldn't do it.

Trick?

Yeah, like...

You were gonna do a trick on me?

Yo...

No, just yo...

You know, some sound effects or...

Ahhhh!

But I couldn't.

So was that on me?

Was that... was I supposed to do the little trick thing?

No, no, it was me.

It was you, okay.

You wanted to follow that up with some sort of an audio trick?

Yeah.

Sound trick?

Yeah.

Got it.

And I failed it.

Oh, well...

That's on you.

Yeah.

Sorry.

This is from Shichi-san.

Shichi-san!

Thank you, Shichi-san.

"Kimi-san, Professor Yama, konnichiwa."

Why are you laughing?

I don't... I don't know why I laughed, I'm sorry.

There was nothing wrong with that...

Yeah?

I don't know where... I didn't laugh.

I'm sorry.

I don't know why... I don't know why that happened.

I just remembered a joke from yesterday.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay, you certainly remember the joke from yesterday.

Yeah, I'm sorry. That's not...

We're clear, okay?

We're clear, yeah. We're good.

So, "Kimi-san, Professor Yama, konnichiwa."

This is Shichi.

Konnichiwa.

"Kyo wa, yuumou afureru o futari ni oshiete itadakitai koto ga ari"

"Meseji o kurasete itadakimashita."

Okay.

"Sore wa, boku no kokoro mo atadabete yo."

"Toyuu, o kyakusama no jouku ni dou kaesuka."

"Toyuu, koto desu."

"Watashi wa daigakusei de"

"Iitoin kouna ga aru panya san de arubaito shiteimasu."

"Jouren san no naka ni itsumo niko niko shite"

"Haa, arigatou gozaimasu, honnara mata"

"To itte kudasaru chiisaku te kawaii ojisan ga imasu."

"Sono kata ni, tennai de o meshiagari no pan no atatame wa dou saremasuka?"

"To tazuneta tokoro"

"Aa, atatamete kureru?"

"Tsui de ni, boku no kokoro mo atatamete yo."

"To iwaremashita."

Ohhhh.

"Neta no you na koto ga okori, sukoshi odorokimashita."

"Watashi wa umai kaeshi ga omoitsukazu"

"Issho ni chin shimasu ka?"

That's pretty...

That's a really good answer actually.

You know, I like that.

That's a pretty funny one, you know? Yeah.

"Nado to imi fumei na koto o kuchibashitte shimai"

"Ima demo totemo koukai shiteimasu."

No, no, no, no! That was really good! No!

"Soko de, yuuma to yasashita ga afureru o futari ni"

"Kono kotoba ni taisuru umai kaeshi o oshiete itadakitai desu."

"Yoroshiku onegai itashimasu."

Wow!

"Eeeeto..."

Are you looking for something?

Yeah, actually there's an additional message.

Okay, got it.

I'm going to read it.

No, you got to.

Because it's kind of touching.

Got it.

So, "Ijou ga messeji desu. Nagaku natte shimau no de"

"Watashi no kimochi wa kono shita ni kakasete itadakimasu."

"Energy Rise."

"Watashi ga okutta senjitsu wa watashi ga okutta"

"Sports kansen chuu ni namida ga deruka"

"Toyuu topic ni tsuita o hanashi shitekudasari"

"Arigatou gozaimashita."

"Daisuki na ottari yo watashi no messeji tsuita"

03:00

"Hanashitekudasatteiru koto ni kandou shite"

"Hajimete deru yona koe ga demashita."

"Hontou ni ureshikatta desu."

"Itsumo podcasto mo youtube mo tiktok mo instagram mo"

"Hontou ni tanoshimasete itadaiti imasu."

"Keitai no tsuuchi wa subete offu nano desu ga"

"Ottari no podcasto ga suki sugite"

"Jinsei de hajimete tsuuchi wo onni shimashita."

Aww, that's so sweet.

Yeah.

That's so sweet.

Well, thank you so much, Shichi-san.

Okay.

So, um...

So, I really actually do like the "Shunichi ni shimasu ka?"

Yeah, this is like very like...

Clever answer.

Very clever answer right now, yeah.

Yeah, alright, let's think about it.

Let's think about it.

Can you do it for me?

Okay, sure.

Can you be the ojisan?

Of course.

And I'll think of something that comes up, right?

Okay.

So...

Okay, please.

So, um...

Please.

So, can you warm my heart up?

Do you want me to call the cops?

Or do you want to stay here and let me call the cops?

Or do you want to get the fuck out of here?

And never show your goddamn face again?

Because we do not accept this kind of harassment here.

Get the fuck out of my store.

No.

No?

Big no.

Big no!

Oh no!

Well, because he's...

He's jounen-san and he's always smiling.

And he's always saying "Thank you, thank you" and then he's gone.

He's a small and cute ojisan.

So we don't want to hurt his feelings.

No!

Okay.

He's simple.

Okay.

Yeah.

No hurting his feelings, okay.

Okay, fine.

You want to do it again?

Uh, okay, um...

Okay.

I'm just going to think of something that comes up, right?

Because that's the situation she was in, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, I'm just going to improvise.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Can you warm this up for me?

Sure.

Oh, can you warm my heart up?

Oh, I can't do that.

I'm sorry.

Wow.

That came up.

That naturally came out.

Yeah.

That was the natural answer that came out, you know?

Probably the worst answer there.

Yeah, but that's, you know, important to say.

Clearly no.

06:00

Right, right.

Yeah.

As a store representative, right?

Yeah.

You can't not microwave a man's heart and soul.

So it's important to, you know, that's...

True.

But, you know, it's because of me, maybe.

It's because of me who is in front of you that leads you to say this.

True.

I was like very like maybe like cute or beautiful young lady.

Okay, okay.

Let me...

Okay.

Yeah, imagine that.

I'll imagine.

Got it, got it.

Hold on.

I know it's hard.

I know it's hard to imagine.

God, that's difficult, man.

All right.

Hold on, hold on.

Let me just clear my head.

Imagine somebody.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Come on.

Just imagine someone.

We'll do... who was that?

The Hashimoto-san?

Hashimoto-san, yeah.

Okay, Hashimoto-san.

Okay, hold on.

Okay.

All right.

Ready?

Okay.

That was not very...

I didn't expect that voice.

Oh, really?

Yeah, that was...

Can you do a little bit of a cuter voice?

Higher?

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

Try that.

Okay.

Missed my shot.

Yeah.

That was a chance of a lifetime.

Yeah.

And I just blew it.

Yeah.

I felt like I just blew it.

You took so much time.

I know, right?

I blew it.

You were thinking about so many things, man.

I just blew it.

Okay.

Just give me another chance.

Okay, okay.

And I'll be like Ariana Grande.

Ariana Grande?

Okay.

Got it.

Okay.

Do you want me to, uh...

09:00

Do you want me to, uh...

It's perfect.

Yeah, like...

More than perfect.

Yeah, more than perfect.

It's got humor.

Yeah.

You're saying no.

Yeah.

But it's gentle.

But it's gentle, right?

It's wrapped in humor, so it's like really good.

Wow.

You're doing it better than we are.

Yeah.

You know?

You are, actually.

That's the best answer.

Uh-huh.

So...

Right.

It's good.

Yeah.

It's nice.

You don't have to be a comedian.

Yeah.

You don't have to be a comedian.

Yeah.

You don't have to be a comedian.

Yeah.

It's nice.

You did it on the spot.

That's the thing.

Yeah, true.

On the spot.

If I were on the spot, then I would be like...

Right?

True.

Okay.

Wow.

So, if you think of a better answer, let's share this, okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Give it some time.

Uh-huh.

Actually think of a real good answer, and then if you think about it, let's share this

again.

Yeah, yeah.

Let's do it.

Okay.

I think I got one.

Oh, you got one?

You got it.

Okay.

It's a little too aggressive.

Maybe.

Maybe it's too aggressive.

Okay, we'll see.

We'll see, right?

That's why this simulation is here for.

Yeah.

Okay.

To see if it works or not.

Yeah.

Okay?

I'll be a Remurikasumi-san again.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

Excuse me, here you go.

Thank you.

Can I warm this up?

Yes, please.

Oh, okay.

Please warm my heart.

Don't get burned.

Okay.

Don't get burned.

Okay.

Don't get burned.

Okay, okay.

Don't get burned.

Okay, okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

12:00

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Don't get burned.

Can you cut this? and not on screen please?

Yeah, absolutely. The audience will not hear this section right now.

The audience is not hearing this. Don't worry, I'll cut it out so that you won't embarrass yourself, okay?

Alright, thanks for listening guys. Bye bye.

(laughter)

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