第5506回 I haven’t been able to forget her for two years.＆i watched idle program i was sorry

このエピソードは思考整理のための独り語りです。メンタルヘルスや発達特性を背景に、日常の悩 みや感情をそのまま話しています。聞き流しても問題ありません。

 This episode is a personal audio journal on daily struggles, mental health, andneurodiversity. It is meant to be listened to casually in the background.

このポッドキャストは、生きづらさ・メンタルヘルス・家庭問題を中心に、 日常で起きる出来事や思考を、感情を煽らず淡々と語る雑談ポッドキャストです。親子関係の衝突、家庭内トラブル、機能不全家族。 「普通」や「当たり前」とされる家族像や会話が成立しない現実を扱います。 発達障害（ASD / ADHD）、うつ病、双極性障害、不安障害、社会不安、幸福恐怖、強迫性障害（OCD）。 個人の特性と、家庭・社会環境が噛み合わないことで生じる問題を取り上げます。 宗教二世として育った経験から、 オカルトやスピリチュアルを信じて自分を誤魔化しながら生きることができない感覚についても語ります。 物事を都合よく解釈して安心することができず、 現実をそのまま見てしまうことによる生きづらさを扱います。 長期間の引きこもり、無職、就職活動の失敗、働けない現実。社会復帰の難しさや、将来への不安を、理想論ではなく事実として話します。 難病である潰瘍性大腸炎の可能性を抱えながら、 引きこもり状態のため十分な治療に繋がれない状況と、体調不安が日常生活に与える影響についても触れます。 人間関係のトラウマや、 新たなトラウマを作らないために距離を取るという選択。 人と関わる必要性を理解しつつも、発達障害が理解されにくい現実の中での葛藤を語ります。 哲学やニヒリズムを背景に、 存在の意味を求めるのではなく、 世の中を都合よく解釈する考え方そのものへの違和感や、人の思考の矛盾、浅はかさをスピリチュアルに逃げず考察します。 前向きさや希望を押し付ける番組ではありません。 答えを出すこともしません。 メンタルヘルス、発達障害、家庭問題、生きづらさを抱える人に向けた、静かで重めのトーク番組です。

This podcast focuses on mental health, neurodiversity, and family issues, discussed calmly and without emotional exaggeration. It covers parent-child conflict, dysfunctionalfamilies, and situations where so-called “normal” family dynamics do not work.Topics include ASD / ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders,social anxiety, fear of happiness, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD),exploring how personal traits clash with family and social environments.Growing up in a religious household, I talk about the inability to rely on occult or spiritual beliefs to comfort or deceive myself, and the difficulty of facing reality without convenient explanations. The podcast addresses long-term social withdrawal, unemployment, failed job searches, and the realistic difficulty of returning to society. I also discuss the possibility of living with ulcerative colitis, a chronic illness, while being unable to access proper treatment due to isolation, and how physical uncertainty affects daily life.Human relationships and trauma, choosing distance to avoid creating new wounds, and the struggle of living in a society where neurodiversity is rarely understood are recurring themes. Rather than seeking meaning, this podcastexamines how people conveniently interpret reality, the contradictions in human thinking, and social absurdities — without spiritual escape or comforting narratives. No self-help. No optimism. No answers. A quiet, heavy podcast forthose dealing with mental health issues, neurodiversity, family conflict, and the difficulty of living in reality as it is.

サマリー

日本のアイドルに関する競技を視聴した後、彼は彼女を忘れられない感情や英語学習の経験について語ります。2年間彼女を忘れられない彼の心の葛藤が描かれ、夢の中で学校のクラスや教師との関係を掘り下げます。彼は2年間彼女を忘れられず、バレンタインデーのチョコレートや豆腐のエピソードを通じて日常の出来事を振り返ります。2年間忘れられない彼女との思い出と、アイドル番組を見た際の後悔について語られています。

アイドルと競技の視聴

hello everyone and welcome to my podcast thanks for tuning in it's friendly

today here's what happened firstly i watched

youtube yesterday it was competition of japanese idol

so it's a bit of harm they introduce their local sweet a certain idol introduce

a certain sweet but that's corner is for this corner this corner was

salty snack so but mc said it's kind of sweet snack so i'm sorry her

he introduced as he introduced her favorite food

it's very famous food in hokkaido but it was bad i'm sorry this this

uh this sweet of company and her so i found what yesterday i fantasize

her teacher said

uh i'm wrong mc said it's not bad luck you didn't make a make a mistake

you'd think in the future that was good experience

experiment for me next

this experience is

this uh this experience has

英語学習の経験

a lot of a lot of point next recently i i had been learning english

yes when i learn english i think people are acting and thinking

something that

recently there

they were thinking before

backslash right arrow related to

musuri tsuki ya teikei wo shimesu baai wa backslash right arrow associated with

dochira wo tsukaitai ka ni yotte tekisetsu na hyougen ga kawarimasu

it's related to

human's memory they can remember it

it's so they can reflect they can reflexively involuntarily

they can they can act and think reflexively

next i watch a stream strange dream

atarashisa ni kake omoshiromi ga naku taikutsu

treat wa bunkyoku ni yotte

心の葛藤

doushi de wa atsukau

jr ai t r a i t to iu tango ya slang wa ippanteki de wa arimasen

osoraku treat atsukau gochisou ya

trait wa tokuchou tokusei tokushitsu to iu imi no meishi desu

hito ya mono no seishitsu toku ni hoka no mono to kubetsu suru tame no kettei teki na seishitsu wo sashimasu

yosete

yude tamago wo tsukuru ni wa kakikae kanou na bouru reorai teiburu

rirei to batonpasu no koto ni wa rikujou kyougi no rirei to tetsudo

next with my trauma

yesterday i watched a dream

ah sorry i didn't finish my talk

as i said human is automati...

engo de iu to

自律システムやオートマトン

自動的な存在の英訳は文脈によりますが一般的にはオートノマスエンティティやオートマトンが使われます

オートノマスエンティティ自律的な存在オートマトン自動人形機械オートマチックエクゼステンス

自動的な存在そのままの直訳オートマティックオートマチックエクゼステンス

またはオートメイデエクゼステンスと言いますオートマティックエクゼステンス

next i watched a dream

i have a trauma it's related to my trauma

in my dream i want i want

school class finish

hurry up や do it quickly が一般的です

quickly i want school class finish quickly

and i was cold

and teacher i'm i was angry with teacher

i was cold but he made a mistake the moment

he tried to laugh off

he tried to laugh it off

he tried to laugh off his mistake

he tried to laugh off his mistake

he tried to laugh off his mistake

that's why i i was angry with him

would you like to hang out sometime do you want to grab a coffee drink

we're going to go on a date sometime how about we go out this weekend

ask someone out on a date

恋愛と日常の思い出

と言います彼女をデートに誘う i'm going to ask her out on a date

i ask a certain person

i ask i asked a certain person out on a date

i send a mail but she didn't look it so i was walking

walking hallway

and i asked her out on a date the moment

i grabbed because she said okay i'm gonna go on a date

go out on a day on a date i want to go i want to i wanna go on a date

in the bus i was sitting and the girl was sitting

next to me next to me

and valentine's day chocolate

またはヴァレンタインズチョコレートと言います

he gave me she gave me valentine's chocolate

next it happened yesterday i'm not sure lunch i'm gonna

uh news tofu she bought recently but it's her mistake

he bought a little bit higher price tofu i'm gonna put it

into shape or

the most common translation for そのまま in english is as is or all asterisk asterisk

leave it as it is i use it as it is as it is

and until now from now on

これからまたは in the future 将来で

from now on in the future i'm not sure whatever i should

use it they're gonna uh he gonna buy

or i use tofu

usually but she

next she go to this shopping to buy this tofu

i can save money a little bit money and i'm thinking i i have been thinking

150g it's okay it's okay to

it's okay to

use it 750 600

um usual tofu and 150 new tofu but it's just a little bit 150 is just a little bit

i change my uh taste i can't change taste of tofu 650 600g

next corner is キムシュ yesterday i had

it's chinese food a bit chili and

and kimpira and

it's also chinese food pork fried pork it's good good texture and

tasting thank you for listening please follow this group and see you again