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  2. 「結婚する」vs「夢を追う」の..
2020-10-20 13:20

「結婚する」vs「夢を追う」のバランス

結婚・夢を追う・子育てをどうするか考えたじめている25歳であります。
00:00
[Drumming]
[Laughing]
That didn't go well.
I thought the room really helped us.
[Laughing]
But I guess not.
We're live.
Not live.
We're recording again from Yamachan's new awesome amazing ball house.
Thank you.
Amazing room by the way.
Thank you.
[Laughing]
You mentioned that every time we start.
[Laughing]
Alright.
So I want to talk about "Kekkon" today.
Oh that's...
Very big topic that we're...
Huge topic.
Around our age.
People are getting married.
Yeah.
You know.
Stop thinking about that marriage.
Right.
A lot of the females around our age is like even earlier right?
Yeah.
Have a vision for marriage.
What do you think?
Do you have...
Do you want to get married now?
Yes.
Oh you do?
Yes for that question.
Okay.
I do.
Okay.
But in the last episode you were like it's difficult for you to like...
Right.
What do you mean?
What did you mean by that?
Like you know...
I definitely want to marry.
Like in...
Before I die.
Yeah.
But...
On the other hand I have like my dream.
I mean like...
The things I want to pursue in my life.
Yes.
So...
You know.
It's not right now that I'm going to marry.
So how about get married and pursue your dream?
You know that's difficult maybe.
Because what if we will have a baby maybe?
Yeah.
You know I will not have time.
Like I really want to do...
Kousudate.
That would be pretty much fun to me.
So...
I want to enjoy Kousudate.
And the time with my future...
Wife.
Wife.
Yeah.
So I think the order is important.
Uh huh.
Order?
Order.
Order.
Yeah.
Order.
Of what?
Of like...
You know achieving my dream before I get married.
Ah.
So what...
Is there ever going to be a time where your dream is fulfilled?
Like...
I think so.
You think so?
Like in some day...
03:02
Like it won't be finished.
Uh huh.
Like...
Like you know it's not be finished.
Like it's okay it's done.
It's not kind of thing like that.
But I think someday I can say that...
Okay.
Now it's time to move to the...
The next stage of my life.
Yeah.
Different dream.
Which is make...
Build a family.
Uh huh.
And be a great father.
Very relatable.
Very relatable.
How long do you think it's going to be until you get to that next stage?
I don't know.
No idea right?
No.
But I know I have to be in...
In hurry.
Uh huh.
Because...
Because what if I will be married at the age of 60?
Uh huh.
And...
I'm going to stay and play anytime.
60 right?
You're 25.
26, 25 right?
Yeah.
60?
Yeah.
60 right?
Yeah.
But it's...
It's a lot.
Yeah.
I mean it's a lot of time before I get 60.
Uh huh.
But I will be die.
Oh you mean you're you know...
Raising kids.
Right.
From 60.
Right.
It's too late.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Energy wise right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So when do you want to start?
Like I don't know but...
About 30?
No later than 30?
Like that's my hope.
I hope.
You hope to start from 30.
That's five years from now.
So you think you can finish your dream in five years?
Yeah.
Yes?
I have to try.
You have to try.
Yeah.
Believing that is a little bit tough.
Uh huh.
But I have to work on that and try to achieve that.
Uh huh.
Maybe you can do it at the same time.
Really?
Like okay after your children is in high school they don't even want to see your face anymore.
Probably.
Well okay okay so that was a little bit too much right?
Yeah but...
With your maybe son and father relationship maybe that's not going to happen.
But like they're going to grow older.
They're going to get out of the house.
Right.
You have so much free time.
Yeah but you know I...
I would not be able to quit my you know...
Your...
Like father place.
Yeah you're still going to have to be a father.
Right.
So you can't be a father and a dream father at the same time.
I think so.
Like maybe I will go to the United States maybe.
To France maybe.
I don't know.
I mean my father right now he's completely free right?
06:00
He can pursue his dream if he wanted to.
Uh huh.
He's been looking at our influence for businesses and he's like wow you guys are going all in.
You guys are doing a good job.
I wish I could be like that.
That's what he said to me on the phone.
He was like...
Like he has entrepreneurial juices inside him.
Right.
And lately he's been saying wow I...
I've been thinking about it lately.
That's what he said.
About what?
About him following the entrepreneurial juices.
I don't know how that happened.
I don't know why he's...
Maybe age.
Maybe energy wise.
Maybe I don't know.
But that's what he told me.
But he does have free time right now.
And if he wanted to he has the ability to go for it.
Maybe after his 95 he could do that.
Like all of his kids like me and my sister we have jobs right?
Right.
For ourselves.
We're not taking any of his money meaning he doesn't have the responsibility to raise
a child or have anything to...
To what?
To serve right?
Yeah.
So if he wanted to he can.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
But it does...you do have to wait for a very long time.
At the time when a child is born and until he is fully men and working on his own.
You do have to wait a very long time for that.
Right.
Right.
That's right.
Yeah.
What do you think about marriage?
I agree, I do agree with the fact that I am at my stage where I want to pursue, I want
to go all in for my dreams.
It started around I think junior year of college or sophomore years of college when
I started having...started thinking about me as a shakaijin and how I'm going to work.
And I couldn't find an answer.
I did not...I mean by the way I still don't have an answer.
I still don't have an answer on how my life wants to be from now on.
Like I'm just going by the flow and going all in on what's in front of me.
So you know I started talking to myself.
I started wondering if this is what I really wanted to do or not.
And then I college ended, applied for a job, for a 9-5 job and told myself this isn't it.
Changed job, then told myself again that this wasn't it.
09:03
And the third job was my own business restaurant.
So that was when I really started going all in on what I wanted to do.
The time when I decided to quit my corporate job really hesitated.
Like am I really going to get off the lane of the shakaijin lane.
Like the you know, the nankou jorutsu lane, the antei seikatsu lane.
Once you get off of that it's really hard to go back in.
So it was a big decision.
Just like how you probably have a similar decision making too.
Probably a different mindset though.
When I made that decision I was like all this time, all this time I was nayan da da.
And now it's time for me to go all in.
Bet on me, bet on my strength to live by myself.
And maybe if I'm lucky this could be it.
This could be something that I, it could be my passion.
So throughout all this time it only ended up as a thesis.
Right now I'm kensho shiteru.
Now I'm actually living the life that maybe it could be my passion.
And I just can't think about, I just can't imagine me raising a child.
Or getting married or you know, pouring my energy not to what I actually want to do.
Like not to my passion.
I just can't imagine it.
Like I can only imagine myself going all in on it.
This has been going on for like what?
Like probably two years?
And a year and a half?
And I still, it's not enough.
I still want to go further.
I still want to go all in.
I still want to put more energy onto it.
Yeah.
So, I...
Do you want to marry by the way?
Not now.
Not now but maybe in the future?
Maybe in the future?
Nah, I don't know.
You don't know?
I don't know.
I used to think I wanted to.
But like, me being at this part of life, I'm not sure if I want to or not.
Oh okay.
Maybe I will.
Like I...
Like based on my future self, analyzing my past, I'll probably want to get married at some point.
But I'm not confident.
Maybe, maybe I might not ever want to get married.
It's possible.
But yeah.
12:00
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a really understandable thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that's a difficult topic.
Tough topic, huh?
Right.
Like no one knows the answer.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
But we know.
I mean, I know my answer and you know your answer.
I mean, this is the answer.
Yeah.
Right?
We're putting out answers every second.
Yeah.
We're making decisions and that is our answer, right?
Right.
We're recording this podcast.
That's the answer.
Not like meeting with someone else.
Yeah.
Huh.
Life, huh?
Yeah.
Fuck, man.
But that's a real...
This is real.
Real life.
Real struggles, right?
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Enjoying the episode?
Mm-hmm.
All right.
13 minutes.
Yeah.
Thanks for listening, guys.
Very deep topic today.
Right.
We've got still so many things to discuss about this topic, though.
All right.
Yeah.
Maybe someday.
Yeah.
Maybe someday.
All right.
13:20

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