00:00
(Drumroll)
(Singing)
(Laughter)
I was gonna move to the different verse.
You were gonna do something...
Yeah, but it was good intro.
It was great intro.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Okay.
Yes.
Kevin's podcast.
We are Kevin's English and Podcast, yes we are.
Yes.
Thank you for reminding.
Okay, so let's answer the questions.
Yes.
We've got a letter.
Yes.
I'm gonna read this.
This is from...
I'm sorry, I don't have names.
(Reading the letter)
(Reading the letter)
Can you repeat the question again?
I was not listening.
What?
My mind was elsewhere, I'm sorry.
(Reading the letter)
But, no, before that, I know that some kind of phrase like this, sentence like this is difficult for you, right?
(Reading the letter)
Yeah, because it doesn't, like, it's choppy. Very, very choppy.
Like, it doesn't connect.
Right, it has to be, you know, different sentence.
Yeah.
Thank you for understanding.
I have to really focus to actually understand.
To listen.
Okay.
So did you got that?
I got that. Yeah, I was focusing.
I got it.
Okay.
Hmm.
I really like these kinds of topics.
Right.
Like, it's, they're life topics, you know?
I enjoy thinking about life.
Thinking about life.
Yeah, I do.
Choosing the way.
I do. I do, man.
I know you like it.
Yeah, I do, man.
So it really, I think it really comes down to what you value in life.
You know, like, do you value, like, money?
Do you value your time?
Do you value your happiness?
Hmm.
Do you value, right, family time?
Do you value skill?
03:00
Skills, right?
Do you value...
Love, maybe?
Love. That could be a thing.
Do you value stress free?
Okay.
And I don't think they're all independent.
Like, I think they're really all connected.
Okay.
To me, the first thing that came to my mind was happiness.
Happiness.
Which job would lead me to be happy the most?
And happy comes in many shapes and forms, right?
It involves being stress free.
It involves having a decent amount of money to live the lifestyle that you want.
Right.
It involves having friends, friend time, family time, and having time for yourself to do what you like to do.
And I think it really comes down to how you define, how you want your life to be.
And if being happy comes natural to you, then you go with what job would make me most happiest.
Yeah.
That really wrapped it up.
Okay.
It did, it did.
Yeah, but it was quite right, I think.
There's nothing that I wouldn't complain about.
Yeah.
But the thing is, I didn't have the confidence.
Because it was such a huge decision.
Choosing your first job, your first new job, is a very big decision.
It's something that you, it's almost like the societal pressure is like you cannot miss out on this.
You cannot make a mistake.
They put so much pressure on you.
I know you don't feel the pressure, I know you don't.
But society does, right?
It's a social norm that's casted on people.
Okay.
Well, at the time, I understood that it was kind of a huge decision.
At the time.
But now, and we are thinking back to that moment, now I don't think that was, that wasn't that much a huge decision.
Because we can change at any time if we want.
Right.
I mean, easy for us to say, right?
Because we've already done it and we're okay with it now.
Like, that's a perspective in hindsight.
I think when we're back in times when we're trying to make the decision, I think it's hard.
Like, you can't, there is no perspective.
There's no, you can't understand how we're going to be feeling after we've gone through all the transitions, right?
So it's easy for us to say, but I know it's very difficult when you're in college to understand and really comprehend and take in that it's okay to change your mind and change your job.
And failing that first job.
06:02
I think, you know, we want to tell you that it's okay, but I know it's hard.
I also know it's hard.
You can't really, really, really understand that.
You felt that pressure at the time?
I did feel the pressure.
Very strongly, I did feel the societal pressure.
But like, in my head, I knew that I shouldn't pander to that.
I knew that I should be taking the road that I wanted to take the road for.
But societal pressure did get me.
Oh really?
Yes, that's why I chose my first job at the chemical company, which paid a high paying job.
Famous?
Famous job.
I had the status, the societal status, right?
And...
Did you feel that pressure?
I didn't know that actually.
I did feel the pressure.
I was fighting for it.
I was fighting with the pressure.
At the time?
Yeah, that's why I was struggling.
Oh really?
I was struggling with the shukats way more than you did.
Probably.
Or probably way more than Kake-chan.
Oh, you...
Okay, I didn't actually know that.
I actually didn't talk about that.
Did we not?
I don't think so.
No?
Oh.
So you struggled.
It's touching to you.
No, no, no.
What was it?
What are you feeling right now?
Well, actually I've never thought that you were caring about the social pressures.
You know, I know and I knew that you were struggling at the time on choosing which way to go.
But I thought it was the problem of taking like stable life or the adventurous life.
Ah.
I thought it was that and not that kind of social pressure things.
A part of...
The reason why I was hesitating between a stable life and not was that because the stable life has the factor of societal status.
That's one reason the stable job was an upside.
That's one of the reasons.
But it wasn't the only reason.
It was one of the reasons.
So societal pressure may not be as huge of a factor as you're thinking about it right now.
But it did take a role.
It did have a place in the decision making factor.
It did.
Okay, I got it.
Yeah.
So I think...
Well, I understand you.
And I think when I compare me to you, I think I didn't feel that much of social pressure.
So this is my question to you.
So what is the social pressure actually?
09:00
Where, you know, that social pressure comes from?
Okay.
Who did it to you?
I'm gonna beat them.
Yes, yes.
Very good question.
I'm gonna tell you the core answer.
They're your closest people.
Those social pressures come from your closest people.
Your friends, your dearest friends, your yottonos, your family members, your high school friends.
The people who you communicate on a daily basis.
Daily basis?
Those people.
You care about those people.
That's how you get, that's how social expectations grew, I think.
Okay.
Yeah.
Including me, huh?
Well, like you and Kaki-chan, like I think...
Yes, yes, yes.
Right.
Okay, yes.
Hmm.
Okay.
So basically everybody around you, right?
Wait, was your question, where did it come from?
Or whose eyeballs are you pandering to?
Which one was the question?
What?
The second was what?
Whose opinion are you afraid of?
Oh, is that different?
From the first question?
The first question and the second question is different?
First question is, how did your insecurities form?
Okay.
Is my first question.
Okay.
The second question is, who are you worried about being judged from?
Yeah.
Which one?
Okay, the both.
Both of them.
Let's go with both.
Okay, let's do both of them, okay?
How did my insecurities form?
Yeah.
Right?
I think this...
I think being afraid of your decisions and caring about how you're being seen in society
and caring about the social status is a form of insecurity.
It's a manifestation, right, of your insecurities, right?
How do you say insecurities in Japanese?
Oh, I'm worried?
Unconfident?
Unconfident.
Right?
I think it comes from your insecurities.
And that came from peer pressure.
Oh, okay.
I think the biggest one is I think high school was probably like...
For me, it was like the biggest form of peer pressure.
Because I loved Japan.
I wanted to go to Japan.
I had the face of a Japanese, right?
And high school was really like...
Middle school and high school was like the times where you have to fit in, right?
You care about fitting in.
You wanted people to like you.
You wanted people around you to not feel like...
You wanted them to like you, right?
You acted in a way, you partnered in a way that society wanted you to.
So that really...
That part of my life, high school, not so much middle school.
12:02
Maybe, yeah, middle school and high school was probably like the highest of the high peer pressure.
That's how the insecurities formed out.
And then it broke through.
And when I was doing...
Probably like college, the half end of college.
That's when I started breaking through.
I started not caring.
I started caring more about myself.
But it wasn't all gone, right?
As you can tell from how I did my shukatsu.
It wasn't all completely gone away.
Now I'm very close to like really not caring at all.
I think there's factors inside me that may subconsciously take control of my decision making.
But I don't feel them.
Not as much.
Extremely lower than how I felt during college or high school or middle school.
But...
So how it formed I think...
Middle school or high school.
I think that's when I was most insecure.
At times.
I had to...
When I had a pimple on my face, I cared about that.
When I had a bad haircut, I cared about that.
I didn't want people to see me and be like, "Oh, he's got a pimple on his face."
"Oh, he's got a haircut. That sucks."
I didn't want people to think that I'm not the guy that's "iketeru."
I didn't want people to think like that.
That was insecurity.
That was hardcore insecurity.
So you didn't want people to think, "Oh, he entered that company."
Right.
Right.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's interesting to me.
It is, right?
Yeah.
It is.
It is.
Okay.
And the second one?
The second one, whose eyeballs are you afraid of?
Whose opinions are you afraid of?
The closest people around you.
Okay.
So, close people.
Okay.
Me, maybe.
Look, that's a different dynamic, I think.
You and Kakechi's like a very different dynamic.
We're working in teams right now, so it's a different dynamic.
I'm talking about back in college.
Now, I'm really not in that zone right now.
I'm really in my head right now.
I'm really in my cocoon of my world.
I'm in my world right now.
Your castle.
Yeah.
I'm in my own self-happiness world.
I'm talking about college.
Okay.
So you were carrying the eyes from maybe the people in the club, in the circle?
Yeah.
Things like that, right?
In the研究会?
Mm-hmm.
Okay, okay.
Yeah.
Very, like I, logically, very どうでもいい, right?
15:02
Very, very どうでもいい はず.
Like, who gives a fuck, right?
You're not going to meet them ever again.
Like, logically, I knew that, but I couldn't take it in.
I don't know why, but I couldn't take it in at that time.
Oh, okay.
So it was huge part of it.
It was a...
Inside of your mind.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
And I lost to it.
Mm-hmm.
Well, not...
This is very difficult because peer pressure wasn't the only factor, only reason why I
chose the chemical company.
It's one reason, but it's not the majority of the reasons.
Okay.
I don't think, I wouldn't say I lost to peer pressure and I entered the chemical company,
but...
Mm-hmm.
Right, there's parts of me that felt it.
Mm-hmm.
Then I entered the chemical company.
Then I realized that how I feel and how I value, how I interpret things is far more important
than how other people sees me as.
You started making or building your cocoon at that time.
I started building my cocoon.
Okay.
Exactly.
Right.
Well, that is important, making a cocoon on your own.
So, I mean, I think a lot of people, a lot of people who's shukatsu-ing right now are
in a place where they're caring about other people.
Like they may not be realizing it.
Mm-hmm.
They may be realizing it.
I think a lot of people are in that zone.
Mm-hmm.
I've seen a lot of people during shukatsu, like who's making the majority of the decision
based on how they're being seen by their parents, how they're seen by their buddies, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
You're right.
I think so too.
Yeah.
So, do you have any advice to her?
When you're like...
I think that you should...
Like even if...
Like if you listen to what I said right now, and let's say you just realized that you have...
You are under peer pressure.
You are under your insecurities right now.
Let's say you realize that, just realize that he is.
And if you can internalize that and then change your perspective so that you only make decisions
18:07
based on how you feel, then good, do that.
But I think it's very difficult to suddenly change your perspective and not caring at all
about how other people think.
I think it's so much difficult.
So, I think what my advice is taste it for yourself.
Okay.
Even if you deep down knew that you cared about other people and at the same time you
knew that it didn't matter, like logically you knew that it didn't matter.
It's your own life.
So, I think you should go for what you want in your heart, not logically.
If you wanted the look, if you wanted that social status for other people, I think you
should taste it for yourself.
And then actually feel, come from the inside that you realizing that you don't need those
kinds of affirmations.
I think you should taste it for yourself.
Good advice.
Yeah, like go get a job that appeases your parents and your friends and makes them go
wow, right?
Have that job.
Do that job for a year or two.
And then realize it for yourself.
Let it come naturally from your bottom heart that you actually don't want the job that
appeases other people.
Because I think that would, like you understanding from your heart is so much better than you
being told by other people to not do that decision.
Right?
So, I think you should experience things.
You're still young so you know you got a lot of things you can do.
Right.
You can make lots of mistakes and life experiences very rich.
Yeah.
You know, like having a lot of experiences is good for you.
So, yeah.
How about that?
It was really, really good advice.
Good deep one, right?
Right, right.
Use the most valuable story ever.
Yeah, I think ever that I've spoken in my life.
I think I provided a lot of value on that.
Yeah, we have to go to the tent maybe.
Yeah.
That's a fly phone.
Alright, I want to hear yours next on the next episode.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Alright.
Well, thanks for listening again guys.
Thank you.
