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Welcome to Kevin's English Room Podcast.
So I was talking about we were talking about friendship
Yeah, my last episode and how it's important and how to deepen it and everything
Yeah, as I was searching through the internet about like all that stuff and I saw a lot of content on it, right?
Do you know Trevor Noah? No. Trevor, I think you know this guy.
Who?
He does like a talk show. Oh
Yes, I've seen him. Yeah. Yes. He's a comedian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and
Trevor Noah. He was doing this talk show with, I forgot who it was, about friendship. Oh
And how he thinks it's important how he
Cultivates so much. He uses so much of his energy, money, time to cultivate a great friendship. Mm-hmm
And he thinks it's so important. Yeah, and yeah, he was talking about it. Okay, right
And on the talk show one of the word one of the words that stuck with me was like
And I don't know what your thoughts on this. Okay
I think everyone has
someone a friend that they can call
if you're
In trouble like if you need help
Okay, if you need support like you have friends that you can
You can call. Mm-hmm, right?
You can rely on yeah, and usually people think of that as friendship and that's true. But
If you deepen that down
Do you how many of those friends?
Can you call?
When something good happens to you?
And I thought that was fucking deep
you know like if something happened like, you know, let's say that you're you're you're you're you want to be like a
I don't know like a youtuber right and you get like 300 3 million subscribers and you're happy
How many people how many friends can you call up and be like hey?
Listen, I just I just hit 3 million subscribers, man. I'm so happy
without
Yeah feeling like a brag
without making without not having to you know worry about oh does this gonna sound like a brag or not like
like just pure
Sharing of joy. Yeah, how many of those how many friends you have that you can do that?
Shit
That's a that's a good point. Sure. It's a good fucking point. That's true. Yeah
And this trevor and this guy who trevor was talking to
um
I think he was the one that said that
And he said he has a friend that does that. Mm-hmm. He who he who can
Say it too and how he
Cultivated that cultivated that relationship
was
Really he took the friendship to a next level he would actually tell that guy friend like I love you
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like I love you man, and
And he said that's how he did it. Yeah, he he really took
the friendship
Activities to a next level like he really cared about his friends. He said I love you to his friend. Yeah, and like
Like really like like really love the guy
love the friend
How he said he did it
I was like wow
that's
that's that's
Eye-opening, you know, yeah, I thought like he's really taking it seriously
And I don't know if I can implement that. Mm-hmm
That's I feel like that's kind of difficult thing to do, you know
Like you have to open yourself up to a lot of like you're like exposing yourself, you know
And you know, what do you think about that? What do you think about that man? Well, I mean, you know, I
Deeply agree with that. Mm-hmm
But I was a little bit surprised that you said it was eye-opening for you. Mm-hmm
Well because like to me
For example like I in this episode like podcast I share sometimes like I
Share sometimes like I
for example, I can release a new song or like I
uh
Did a live concert and I made a success on it
or just um
you know how
I'm
Feel I'm on the right track and like stepping forward for my dream
And I share share those like steps to you with you
and you always kind of
Like kind of celebrate that to me
right
so like that's
To me like that. Yeah, that's what you do to me. Mm-hmm
Well, I mean i'm talking about like yeah, i'm not talking about like
I'm talking like hey, I love you man like that
I mean like literally yeah
But I mean I every time I I share that
Okay. Yeah, I mean I I I sort of like I celebrate it. Yeah, like I I
I'm happy for you. Mm-hmm, but like that's
Indirectly. Mm-hmm saying I love you, but like man, but like listen man
I love you and then a kiss on the cheek
Oh, you literally okay. Okay. Yeah, he said there was a kiss on the cheek. I love you and a hug. Yeah
That's fucking like okay. I wouldn't say eye opening
Yeah, I mean so it's not eye opening that act. Let me let me rephrase it. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's like that's next level
If this is what I thought true, that is true that is like next level shit. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, like I can't imagine doing that with friends like saying I love you kiss on the cheek and then a hug
So fucking like uh, you're talking about that that part. Yeah, i'm talking about the act of doing that
Okay, okay, and he said that when he first did that to his friends. I think he said he was
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He had that done to him by a friend. Okay is when he first encountered it
He said it was like a joy that he's never felt
He said it was like like I felt safe. I felt loved. I felt happiness. Yeah, and that was like
man, that's like
I can't imagine that happening
So like
That's like yeah, like if you get to a point where you're doing that with friends. I was like
Like first of all, I can't I don't think I can get to that stage
Like that's like that's so different culture. That's so like
but like that person doing it. Yeah, and
This person i'm sure he's at a world where he's feeling next level happiness
So I was like wow, I can't believe there's people out there. Yeah that that is accomplished doing that
That's my thought. What was your thought?
Yeah
Yeah, I mean, yeah
Would you would you say I love you directly and then a kiss on the cheek and then a hug? Can you do that?
No in japan, not in japan. Yeah, at least
Yeah, how about two of your uh friends in abroad like
we
so the thing is
We do that
in french
Yeah
That's for like saying hi saying hi, but that's different. Yeah
I think it's more when you compare to japan and france. Yeah
I think like kissing
Or like hugging is more
um
More casual. Yeah, I mean it's not a daily thing
But like if something deep happens, yeah
Like it makes sense. You make sense
so but don't do this like to
Just like every day usual friend. Yeah, if something happens or like very friendship you feel that and you do it
yeah, but
I think it's
you know
Cultures are different, you know, so yeah, so you're talking about that person maybe at a different culture
Uh, maybe yeah true and it might be more closer
To the natural state than in japan, right? Maybe maybe
Yeah, yeah, right
so
but I I think that the joyness like the
like how how to say that like a
Friendshipness is the same
Yeah. Yeah
but what if you rephrase it to like
expressing
Love to the highest of the abilities, you know
like
Hugging and kissing and yeah
Yeah, that's that's
That's great. Yeah
That's so I in france when I when I left france the last day last evening they gathered and
Did a you know people crying?
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You know very
Random nonsense
Little happy party. Yeah at a kebab store. Yeah, and uh
We we did that
and
like um
the
Amount of like emotion I felt like the happiness. Yeah, and the sadness at the same time was so
big
That's something like
Beyond everything kind of yeah
Yeah
so
But I was like
They did it to me
You were the receiver. Yeah, like they were the provider. Yeah
so
but at least I
I know that feeling and how that makes people happy. Yeah
but since after that i've
Never done that. Oh just to somebody, you know, yeah
Which is you know
Why not? Yeah, right, right
But that's difficult though. That's difficult to do. Yeah, I think yeah, it's difficult. I mean
hugging
That's possible
But kissing is like to me
it's
It's another level
like
I mean, I can't imagine me
Kissing to my friend. Yeah
that's
that's so
Like a high
Yeah
Yeah
Have you ever done that to anybody? No, no, no
Why do you think we don't do that
I don't know
Maybe it's embarrassing. Mm-hmm
Yeah, you know the same reason why you don't
all of a sudden call up your
Parents and say thank you for raising me, you know same reason why
You don't
Tell your partners that hey, thank you for being there with me
I mean, I love you so much
You know, I mean that's more I guess that's done more often than the other ones
But like probably the same reason I feel like, you know, true. I don't know
I don't know
But I get it saying those things to your family and your lover
Is easier than you
Like kissing to your friends. Yeah, because it's not
Not normal. Yeah, not normalized
The further it is from what's normalized, right difficult it is, right?
and also we both
guys
yeah
so like
like
Animally. Oh
Like it's like like physical contact. Yeah, it's unnatural. Yeah, i'm kind of you know
So like a boss
Boss, you know, I see like the same way how our brains cannot
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like
How we can't feel?
like sexual
Feelings towards the same sex like if you're if you're straight. Yeah
Close to that. Maybe yeah
Like your sexual orientation does not allow you. Yeah. Yeah sort of
Comprehend right hugging and kissing. Yeah
Like because they got a female friends sometimes does that right? Like yeah, hugging and kissing. Yeah, it's true, but we guys
We never do that. We never do that. It's it's very
Maybe it's a natural like a nature of like
maleness
maybe
Maybe maybe so that's why
It's difficult to do that. Yeah. Yeah, but those people like a beyond all everything
Yeah, I mean, yeah, right, right, yeah, so that was that was what I was thinking about this week, you know, yeah
How can I deepen relationships with friends was my topic this week and get to that level
Well, I don't know about getting to this level. I mean but getting as high as possible, you know
Getting into as high as possible
I decided to start off with
um
Heading up old friends. Mm-hmm and and and getting drinks. Oh nice starting with that. Nice. Nice, you know, that's that's
Good first step. Yeah me, you know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah for sure, you know
Yeah
Initiating that first. Hey, how's it going, man?
Yeah, you wanna
You want to catch up sometimes? Yeah
Ah, yeah, that's great. Yeah. Yeah, right I think
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's very great. Yeah
Yeah, it's it's
That's the difference
Right. That's the biggest difference I guess like if you do that or not. Yeah, it's the biggest difference
so
The first step is very big is what you're talking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like I mean
So after that you maybe you go to like a cabaret together maybe whatever do that. Yeah in any
thing
At least a tiny amount you deepen the relationship and start relationships. Yeah, so
so that that first step and you
Send right to your friend is the biggest difference, right? Right, right, right, right
Is it's nothing or something? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
And I mean
Yeah, yeah
So there you go
I respect that. Oh, yeah that act. I mean, I feel like you've been I feel like you've already had it in you, you know
like you're more of a more of a like a
I think you valued friendship more than I have like I feel like you've understood the importance of friendship more than I have
From my view from my from my perspective. I think you're yeah
I'm, not sure. I to me like you feel I feel you're valuing that and you're trying
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Like a friend gathered
In every onion. Yeah
Like it's more intuitive in you. I feel like, you know, it's in your nature to do so
Yeah
You love gather ups, right? Yeah, I do love people I do talking with strangers
Strangers. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, but you love it too, right? Maybe not maybe not strangers. Yeah, I I love friendship. Yeah
Yeah, I love friendship. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's great. Yeah. Yeah
Thanks for listening guys. Thank you. Bye