00:02
Hello to our new podcast. Oh my god, I can'tbelieve we finally kick it off.
We have been talking about it for weeks now.
Why don't we start it?
Maybe we should start with a little introduction.
We are Sandra and Yusuke. We have been togetherfor almost 13 years now.
We did a total of 6 years long distancerelationship.
At the moment we are living in Tokyo because Yusuke is Japanese and I am Swiss.
We have two little boys.
Today we are going to talk about...
What's the good things and bad things aboutinternational couple.
As you may know, we are international couple.
Sandra is Swiss and I am Japanese.
So, European culture and Asian culture are mixed,right?
Yeah, and there's a lot of good things.
So, let's start with the good things.
One thing that I really love is that not only me,but my whole family and friends get to exploreanother culture in a much deeper level.
Two months, three months ago, my parents came andstayed for one month with us.
We explored Japan and soon my sister is coming.
It's just so fun that we get to experience this,right?
Yeah, I mean, my family also having fun travelingwith you, your family.
I mean, this year, almost one or two months, kindof Airbnb, our house.
Yes, and then we have like the fusion of thedifferent meals.
Like we have something Swiss for entrance.
Then main course is Japanese. Dessert is Swissagain.
It's just so fun to mix both cultures together.
Right, right. Yeah, that's a good point.
I mean, we did long distance for six years.
That was the, I would say, the demerit, the badthings that I think everybody has to survive ifyou're international couple.
We had a corona and luckily we finished a littlebefore.
Like we kind of figure out before corona happensthat which country we're going to live in and howthe life would be.
Yeah, and also there is also a good point withhaving a long distance relationship because we didsix years.
So that means we had lots of talking because wecouldn't really see each other or hang out.
So all we did was Skyping, video calling, texting.
So I would say our communication was really good.
03:02
That's something that we really appreciate now,don't you think?
I think so, yeah.
Not everybody, but quite a lot of people haveissue with the communication as a couple.
And this misunderstanding always causing the issueand argument.
We still do, though.
Overall, it's okay.
Yeah, I think we're much stronger and I know whenyou're angry, like...
He's good at reading my facial expression.
I don't know, like non-verbally.
He can tell, okay, Sandra's angry now.
And he knows what he can do to make me feel betteror he can read the room most of the time.
Yeah, I'm trying to think that, okay, what madeher angry or pissed and then I don't know.
Yeah, or something that I really struggledrecently because we just came back from spendingone month in Switzerland.
And being surrounded with my family 24-7 wasabsolutely amazing.
And then we got back home to Tokyo and I was alonewith my kids and everything was different.
And I got really, really homesick.
That's something I really struggled with becauseall my family is in Switzerland, obviously.
And I'm here and, yeah, that's something thatneeds a lot of work from my side.
And also Yusuke is supporting me as much as hecan.
But that's something that's really, really tough.
I'm getting better now after three weeks beingback here.
I don't know, it's just, yeah, it's not easy.
Every time after you come back from Switzerland,you're really homesick.
And, yeah, what's the solution?
I mean, what's the...
I know the solution.
How do you... I mean, like moving to Switzerlandwould be the solution for sure.
You mean how I get over it?
I mean, yeah, like for mentally, like how do youdeal with this issue, homesick?
I think everybody has it.
For me, what helps is having a routine, likesomething to do.
So, for example, my son starts kindergarten again.
So I have to wake up, have to make his breakfastand his lunchbox, take him there.
So my daily life has a structure.
And I need to see my friends.
I need to be surrounded by positive people, thenature.
I just need something to do or a goal that keepsme a bit busy.
And also I need to talk with my family a lot.
So I would say I talk with them maybe three tofour times a week with different people.
I think every day.
Yeah, maybe texting for sure.
06:00
Yeah, and I need to tell Yusuke.
I need to tell him, Yusuke, I'm so homesick today.
And then I expect him to be nice to me.
And he is.
Yeah, and it's just it's also nice when I knowwhen I see them again.
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
I think that was we learned a lot when we aredoing the long distance.
Like we decide when we see next time so that weknow after two months or three months.
We know we see each other again.
The other things I think it works is like seeingthe bigger picture.
Yeah, I struggle with that.
You're good.
I see like the next few months up to a year.
And Yusuke sees the bigger picture.
Yeah, I mean, you know, like if we find asolution, like a quick solution, it doesn't meanwe have the solution forever.
I mean, there is nothing forever, but at leastlike next five years or like with this term, likewhen kids are in elementary school, we want to bein Switzerland, let's say.
And then to make it happen, we need, OK,financially like this.
And we want like this life.
And we see that, you know.
How can we get there?
Yeah, I just see for tomorrow like, oh, I miss myparents, my sister.
I want to go back there tomorrow.
Yusuke sees the bigger picture.
So I think we match each other pretty good.
But also Yusuke, what I think is really amazing oflike an amazing point in being in an internationalrelationship is our kids.
We are raising them trilingual.
So they have to speak, have to learn to speakJapanese, English and German, German.
Thus they get to know both cultures.
And they have like two homes in each country.
I think that's amazing.
And of course it comes with hardships.
But I really try to see the positive in here.
And it's amazing, you know, because Leo canalready translate to you.
The other day I asked Leo, like, what's themeaning of Bitly?
And then he was like, Bitly is a little like ちょっとin Japanese.
And I'm like, oh, yeah, right.
OK, thank you, Leo.
And then I asked, what does it mean that Gans?
And he was like, ah, banana.
Leo, I know banana is not Gans.
He's like trying to tell me like wrong things.
And he was like, wait, banana.
Yeah, that's so funny.
Yeah.
And like Leo is now four years old and we can...
09:02
He starts to see the difference like from likeJapan and Switzerland.
And he starts to compare.
He starts to ask questions, for example.
Why Switzerland doesn't have typhoons?
Or why there is more earthquakes in Japan?
Why does Switzerland not really have this kind ofthing?
And it really amazes me how he understands thiskind of thing.
I think he already understand that to get there,we need to take airplane.
Yes.
And which direction we need to go and how longdoes it take?
Like he knows the system.
Yeah.
How it works.
Or when he wakes up, he says like...
It's like the grandparents in Switzerland.
They're sleeping now, right?
Because the sun is now here in Japan.
So the sun is gone from Switzerland.
Huh?
So these things.
But I think it's really fun to raise international...
I think so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The things I concern because a lot of friends aremixed around me.
And they are here looks like a foreigner.
Like they go other country, they look like Asian.
So people automatically thinks, oh, you're Asian.
Oh, you're foreigners.
Like you're from Europe.
So they kind of don't like be a minority all thetime.
And because I'm Japanese and Japan is island.
And obviously we are majority.
We don't have really mixed races.
So that's kind of...
I don't know.
You're worried about this?
How they take...
How they think about the nationalities.
I don't like to category about the countries.
Like, hey, Japanese man is like this or Swiss girlis like this.
It's not because of the country.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
And I think...
I hope as long as we can show them like in ourfamily.
You know, we love them no matter what.
And it's not about the race or anything.
I hope that they understand.
Yeah, I don't know.
That's a hard topic.
But I will try my best to show them that, youknow, no matter what.
Like everybody is the same.
We're all unique.
We all have good points, bad points.
But it doesn't matter.
We're all humans, you know.
Yeah.
It's not about anything.
I want to ask if...
Some people ask like listening this podcast.
And then if you went through this, if your mix...
Like if your parents are international marriageor, you know.
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Like they can maybe DM us.
You know, like some get some opinions because...
Because I feel like now...
Like Leo is four now and Levi is two.
And I don't think it's any issue at the moment.
Like in his kindergarten, it's more like it'scool.
They're more interested maybe about me, where I amfrom.
But it's not about Leo.
He's just the same as everybody else there.
So at the moment, I don't feel like it's anyissue.
And in Switzerland, when we went there, nobody...
Like it wasn't a big deal too.
Maybe later.
Later on, we have to deal with it.
But your village, where you grew up is not reallyinternational, right?
But I mean, kids, they don't really mind.
Yeah, as a kid maybe.
I was a bit shocked when I went to Switzerland.
And for the Swiss National Day, we went out to theparty, right?
The 1st of August celebration.
Yeah.
And I think I'm pretty sure it was only Asians.
I was.
And when I entered there, everybody looked at mebecause...
It's nothing bad because it's normal reaction.
No, I think it was because...
Oh, that's Andrew's husband.
I feel a bit awkward.
No.
When I look at somebody's face, they're obviouslylooking at me as well.
And I'm like, oh, I'm watched.
And he did the first ever bolognese.
Bolognese is like this.
I don't know.
We call it in Switzerland bolognese.
It's like everybody holds each other's shoulderand walk through the whole room.
And he had really so much fun, right?
Yeah, it was really fun.
But they accept me and then, hey, come, come.
It was so nice to see their culture.
And they're looking at me just that, like nothingnegative, anything.
I think it's more like, ah, it's Andrew's husband.
And what else?
I mean, there is a lot.
I mean, every relationship has good and badthings.
Even though they're not international.
But international is like some extra littlethings.
I think that where we live, we cannot have theperfect location.
Because one of us living in another country.
Yeah, has to adjust and leave family and friendsbehind.
Career, I don't know.
But I feel like it made us really flexible, don'tyou think?
15:00
Yeah, I think so.
Because we have to be flexible.
We have to accept always new things.
For example, if you don't have me, you would justlike maybe live another life.
Because of me, you have to spend your vacation inSwitzerland.
You have to be a tour guide for my family andfriends.
You know, maybe you wouldn't do this if you don'thave me.
Or like you wouldn't imagine maybe.
Oh, I'm nice. I would do that. I'm super nice.
Yeah, but you know what I mean?
Yeah, I know.
For me, I never in a million years, I would haveimagined I would live in Japan.
Because I didn't even know Japan before.
I mean, I heard of Japan.
What was your type before you met me?
What kind of man you wanted to date?
The opposite.
Opposite is something not really nice to say.
No, I mean, you can't choose with whom you fall inlove with.
But I really seriously, I didn't expect it.
And I was the girl that was so, so homesick.
My parents even had to pick me up in junior highschool because I was so homesick.
If somebody told me maybe 15 years ago,
Oh, Sandra, you're going to be living abroad awayfrom your family on the other side of the world ina country called Japan.
I would be like, you're funny.
But look at me now.
And it made me really strong because I have togive birth here.
I have to drive a huge-ass car here.
I have to go to the doctors with my kids.
Go through Japanese kindergarten things.
I think to be flexible is, I guess, like thenumber of exception that how many times you acceptit.
Something you don't think or you are not used to.
Then it becomes, oh, it's not a big deal to acceptthings.
You just push through it.
It's difficult to accept, obviously, because it'ssomething different.
There's always an easy way, right?
But for us, there is not really, or wasn't reallyan easy way.
We didn't have options.
Yeah, we didn't have options.
And I think that even now, we hardly ever choosethe easy way.
We like new.
We have the mind that we try something new.
Get out of the comfort zone.
See if we like it or not.
And I think for maybe people from the outside, it's a bit crazy, maybe.
But yeah, this is how we became.
Starting social media, starting podcasts.
Yeah, no, this is another thing.
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Like, why?
Let's see if somebody listens.
I mean, like, I wanted to connect.
There is obviously, like, following us, like, nomatter what and watching us.
It's really nice.
You know, I want to connect this kind of people.
You mean like on deeper level?
Yeah, deeper level, like maybe see in person.
Say something.
Yusuke loves talking.
I mean, you're talking as much as I do.
How long is it now?
It's 18 minutes.
Pretty good for our first podcast.
I think so.
Did we touch on all the points?
Do you have something more to say?
I just want to explain.
We didn't fix the topic, what kind of show itwould be.
I was, like, asking on Instagram.
I saw the life, what we think is maybe the firstchoice.
And second, third would be international coupleand love.
Question and answer.
I would like that, like question and answer.
Yeah, so how you can send us a question?
We're using Instagram or thread or TikTok.
Whatever you find our account.
Our account on Instagram is Sandra and Yusuke.
And TikTok is Sandra Yusuke.
And you can send us a DM or whatever you cancomment.
And maybe we probably post on threads that what we're going to talk about for the future.
And you can, like, just comment.
Then we take the questions after we talk about thetopic.
And that could be the style that we want to do.
And also traveling Japan tips.
It would be the second choice.
And yeah, we can introduce with kids that youshould do this or like we should go there.
We should go there and after traveling, what wasgood or not, like we can talk about these things.
What do you think?
All right.
Maybe that's end.
Do you want to say something?
Thank you so much for what?
Listening.
Thank you so much for listening.
And see you.
21:00
Hear you soon.
How do you say?
I don't know.
And see you.
I think see you is OK.
See you soon.
Yeah.
Sorry, this is new to us.
All right. Bye bye.
Bye bye.
