若い頃の自分へのアドバイス：人目を気にしないこと
Good evening, everybody.
Hello.
This is Yusuke.
This is Sandra.
Okay, tonight we're gonna talk about...
What advice we would give to our younger self.
Oh...
Deep, deep.
Wow, okay.
Oh my gosh, I have so much.
Go ahead, I don't... I need to think about it.
Okay, first of all...
Yeah.
I would tell myself, don't be such a people pleaser.
You don't need to do something that you don'tlike.
And it doesn't matter what other people think ofyou.
If you like something, then like it. It's okay.
Like...
They don't care.
And...
If you don't wanna go out, then don't go out.
Just stay at home and chill.
Or...
When do you realize and why you choose that?
I realize now since having kids,
I don't have the head space to think about...
a lot of these things I just said.
For example, you know, I used to be like that.
I went out with my friend, for example, for acoffee.
And we were talking about something.
And then maybe my reaction was maybe a bit weird.
Or I said maybe something weird.
So at that time, at the moment, I maybe didn'trealize.
And then I go home.
And at home, I would take a shower or something.
And I would think about the conversation we had.
And then I would think,
maybe what I said wasn't good.
Maybe she misunderstands.
Or maybe she thinks I don't like her now.
Or maybe...
And then I couldn't sleep.
And then sometimes I have to text her like,
I'm so sorry. I hope this didn't come off likeweird.
And this uses so much energy.
And I was like that during junior high school,high school.
Apprenticeship, like...
Until like around 20?
Longer.
Longer.
Yeah, yeah.
And this is so stressful.
Or I was always...
Like I didn't want to make the other person feelbad.
So oftentimes, if I knew this person likes, forexample,
going hiking on a Sunday.
But I prefer, for example, go to the lake tochill.
I would offer, yeah, let's go hiking.
Because I know she likes hiking.
Or like if she says, oh, let's go to thisfestival.
But maybe I didn't feel like it.
But I would just go to make her happy.
Which is totally fine.
But if I really don't want to do something,
you know, you don't have to.
I didn't have that.
No, I was always overthinking everything.
And...
Imagine you start social media at that time.
No way.
No way.
And you know, funny thing is, I bought a camera in2014
because I loved filming and I wanted to share thevideos online.
But I was too worried what other people think.
I didn't do it.
Yeah, I remember you bought a camera.
Oh, that's also...
I was a bit...
Like back then, some reaction to you were a bitnegative to me.
Like, hey, how can you have an Asian?
So I kind of couldn't...
How can I say?
Like, I didn't want to show in public that I'mwith you.
Yeah.
You realized.
I was just too worried.
And then if other people came too much in my head,
I was giving their opinion too much space in myhead
and I started to forget my inner voice.
Yeah.
Okay.
I think, yeah, when we met,
I think the image of Asian wasn't really great.
Yeah, so my anxiety and everything was like,
Oh, so I would tell my younger self,
Don't care.
It's okay.
As long as you're happy,
that's the most important.
Of course, I'm still nice to my friends.
I give and take.
If they want to do something,
of course, I don't always just say my opinion.
No, I want to do this.
But I don't do anything that I really, really don't want to do.
Yeah.
Because I used to not do that.
Okay.
お金への執着と大切なもの
What about you?
I have much more to say later.
Me?
I think the turning point was when,
also when I went to Australia.
Oh, this is a message that I need to.
Yeah.
To your younger self.
Okay.
Like something.
Personally, I don't really regret things.
It's not about regret.
Like, what would you do different?
Or like, what would you,
If you tell, you're scared.
Little, you're scared.
You'll be fine.
I think.
Okay, yeah.
All right.
And maybe at some point that
I was focusing on like,
Oh, I want to earn much more money.
You know, like money, you know,
think about money.
And how I can get and what I can do,
which is totally fine.
And, but I was like,
Wait, but why you need money?
And, you know, at that time,
I was just.
Wait, this is the advice for how old you are.
I think it's quite recent.
Like right after first kid was born,
I was kind of a boost that,
Oh, I need to earn much more money.
And I need to do things.
And then I didn't sleep.
I learned, which was good experience.
But at the same time,
I, you know, I would choose whatever like,
It's hard or tough.
I would choose that way to get more money orsomething.
So your advice would be?
That would be like money is important,
But more important things are,
You know, like it doesn't make you happy.
You need to have family time.
You know, like you need to find a little happinessaround you.
What do you have already?
That makes you happy.
Not earning so much money.
Like I still think about how I can,
You know, get more money.
But this is something like I already have thepurpose.
How much I need.
But I don't really need to be a billionaire.
But in the social media,
I thought like nowadays,
Quite like a lot of people have similar mindset.
That how to get this much money in a month.
But this kind of thing.
And I was kind of similar like there.
And then thinking at the time of my,
How I think it's like always different.
And maybe I was talking.
Maybe about money things a lot.
That made my friends uncomfortable.
You know, kind of people around me.
Maybe a bit avoid to talk with me.
Yeah.
But at the same time,
I learned that I need to work hard to getsomething.
You know, I need to add something to makesomething.
That was my learning.
But I want to tell that.
You know, like.
Then what do you think?
And how to get money.
But this is not maybe right way.
Like you need to think first.
What makes you happy.
You know.
And since then,
My choice and how I think.
It's kind of consistent.
And sometimes I think about,
What if I do this?
But overall,
No, I don't take this.
Overall, I don't take this.
Like not investing time to do it.
Because it doesn't work.
It doesn't change.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Like my friend.
He found in the social media somewhere.
Like this is like,
What if you get million dollars?
But 10 years time.
You don't remember anything.
And then you suddenly have 1 million dollars.
Or.
Like would you do this?
No.
You're not gonna remember anything.
But you're gonna be 10 years later.
No.
Like this.
One second.
And then you have 1 million dollars.
But you don't remember at all.
What happened.
Would you do it?
No.
So it's same things.
You get.
You get over.
Sorry.
You get over.
Job over.
Something.
That you get.
Have chance to.
Get 1 million dollars.
But you have to.
Be a yes man.
For 10 years.
Something like that.
Why you already know.
Like you don't do it.
Me?
No.
It's much more important.
The memories of 10 years.
Because imagine then.
My kids would be already 10 years older.
And I don't have memory.
Oh.
Yeah.
And you know Yusuke.
Are you done?
More?
Yeah.
Done.
家族との思い出と仕事の苦労
Okay.
So for me it's also.
You know I took it so much for granted.
To live in the house.
With my parents and my sisters.
And even though it was.
A long time.
That we all lived together.
The memories are fading now.
And it's.
Really hard to remember the time.
And you know it's.
Those little things.
That make life.
Worth living.
Like the memories I shared.
With my sisters in my parents house.
With my parents.
Like my grandparents.
My cousins.
Like it's family time.
At the time.
It doesn't feel like special.
It's just normal.
But now looking back.
Like all the memories we made in this house.
If I knew that this would.
You know just one day.
It was the last.
Day we all slept.
At home with the parents.
And then.
We all moved out.
We all have our own life now.
What the heck.
Time flies.
And all these little moments.
They're priceless.
Yeah.
And I wish I would.
No.
I mean I enjoyed it.
Of course.
But it's just like.
Really precious.
Time goes so fast.
And I'm glad I spent a lot of time.
With my grandparents.
And.
That's what I'm proud of myself.
I did really good.
In that case.
So I don't need to change that.
And like.
When I did my apprenticeship.
I had so much anxiety.
And I was.
I realized I chose the wrong job.
But.
It wasn't too wrong.
But I was too sensitive.
For the work in the hospital.
Like people being sick.
People dying.
It was so hard on me.
And.
Every morning.
I had so much stomachache.
And I thought.
This is my life now.
Forever.
And.
I didn't realize that.
Actually I can change.
Like.
Yeah.
But I really wanted to get through.
The three years.
And I did really well.
I passed everything.
I just wanted to tell me.
In that moment.
Sandra.
You're gonna be fine.
You have your.
You have it in your hands to change.
It's not the end of the world.
Because I really suffered.
A lot during that time.
Yeah.
And.
I would love to tell myself that.
That.
It's gonna be okay.
You're gonna have.
Everything you ever dreamed of.
A decade later.
But.
Oh.
Oh yeah.
One thing more.
The first job.
For me.
That time.
I.
Struggled a lot.
And.
I thought I'm so dumb.
Like so stupid.
And.
You know I was.
Kind of like.
Stop thinking.
Just focusing on what I need to do.
And.
Didn't really think about.
Even.
One month later.
Or like in a year.
Or like what.
How.
What do you wanna be.
I was so busy.
To do.
Live.
Every day.
And.
Didn't have.
Really that.
Joy.
At work.
Really tough time.
And I.
It took so long.
To realize that.
I am growing old.
As well.
Cause.
I really thought like.
I spend there maybe.
Four years.
Almost.
But.
After.
Three years or something.
I realized.
Oh.
Actually.
Some people.
Actually watching me.
You know.
Giving me compliment.
And I wasn't so bad.
But this.
First three years.
Was hard.
Hard and then.
I just.
Made myself.
Stressful.
Yeah.
It's the mind.
Yeah.
It didn't make sense.
You know.
I could try something more.
And.
Do something.
More positive.
Yeah.
It was the same for me too.
Like.
But if you're in that moment.
You don't see it.
Yeah.
It's really hard to.
It feel like.
No way out.
And.
You.
I guess it's good we didn't give up.
Yeah.
I was fighting so much.
Yeah.
And.
Me too.
I don't know.
Like.
But I hope I realize a bit earlier.
Maybe I had more choice.
Like more productive way.
But because I was so patient.
For this.
Years.
I don't have really stressful at work.
Anymore.
At all.
人間関係と弱さの共有
Like I don't.
I have so much.
Stronger or like.
I know.
Like kind of the mind set.
That I don't get the stressful.
Yeah.
That's your talent.
You're really good at it.
Yeah.
But this.
Because I could be patient.
It's because.
My private was amazing.
I had like.
Really beautiful people around me.
My friends.
And you.
You know.
Everybody was super nice.
Hmm.
So I think.
Private is first.
Your advice is.
Take care of your private.
Yeah.
As long as your private is amazing.
You're fine.
And then.
Don't worry about.
Like if you feel like.
Nothing growing.
Or like this task.
It doesn't make sense.
It all makes sense.
It has a meaning.
And you know.
Yeah.
And also.
Maybe.
The things you do.
At that time.
Seem like useless.
And it's.
Yeah.
Like just a pain.
But you need to get it done.
But in the long term.
It's really important.
You do these little steps.
Yeah.
Step after step.
And you grow.
You learn.
You do something.
You keep moving.
And eventually.
It takes you places that.
Hmm.
Yeah.
So you always.
Need to keep moving.
Keep learning.
And.
Yeah.
Life is hard.
But if you have the right people around.
It's fun.
Really?
Yeah.
And you know.
If somebody would have told me.
Like when we met.
And we had the long distance.
Oh Sandra.
You're gonna have kids.
You're gonna live together.
I would be so chill.
I was like.
I spent so much energy worrying.
And being sad.
And crying.
Like it's you.
It's waste of energy.
Yeah.
And I do now the same.
Opposite way too.
I miss my family.
My sisters.
My friend in Switzerland.
And I'm sad.
Maybe 10 years later.
I'll be like.
Sandra.
He was fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like.
Yeah.
After.
You're always smarter.
But.
Like.
Yeah.
When you.
Feel you're down.
You only see the negative points.
Like.
Negative things.
Hmm.
And something happens.
Oh.
Shoot.
You know.
I'm so bad.
Or like.
I'm so unlucky.
Why it's always me.
Like.
This kind of vibe.
But.
I learned.
Like.
I wanted to tell.
That.
No.
No.
No.
You have to see.
Positive things.
Hmm.
In the negative moment.
Hmm.
So.
I.
Realized that.
At that time.
It was so busy.
But.
Oh.
That's a chance.
That you learn.
How to do the multitasking.
And make the prioritize.
The tasks.
Hmm.
You know.
Like.
That's a road.
Yeah.
Like.
You always need to see this.
Oh.
It took so long.
To realize this.
I mean.
We're older now.
We're wiser.
Yeah.
Oh.
For me.
I always.
I never wanted to show other people.
That I have weakness.
Or that I have.
Hmm.
Down moments.
I always wanted to be happy.
And like.
I didn't want to.
Them to worry about me.
Hmm.
Even my family.
Yeah.
So.
I never wanted to share.
That I've.
For example.
Was scared.
Doing apprenticeship.
Or that I.
Was overwhelmed with stuff.
Because.
That's not me.
You know.
I'm always happy.
Cheerful.
Blah blah blah.
Yeah.
But.
I learn a lot.
That actually.
It's really nice.
If you can share.
Because.
You only.
For example.
If I have a.
An issue.
Um.
And I'm.
I feel like.
Okay.
I'm like this tiny little insect.
And in front of me.
Is a huge wall.
And I.
I can't get over this.
Problem.
And I don't know what to do.
But then I talk.
With different people.
And different people.
Have different inputs.
Yeah.
And then I realize.
Oh well.
Actually.
If I look it from that way.
Or that point of view.
It's not that bad.
Hmm.
And this little insect.
Becomes maybe an elephant.
Or a tree.
And I can climb over the wall.
Yeah.
And then I'm better.
Hmm.
So I learned.
Maybe now.
I talk too much about.
My issues.
But I.
It's.
It's good.
Like I.
It's nice to talk about.
And then it's not so bad anymore.
Yeah.
Because in my head.
I make it much worse.
Than it actually is.
Yeah.
As you know.
I usually use.
Yusuke to talk about.
But also with my sisters.
Or my parents.
Or my friends.
And.
It helps me so much.
Yeah.
I think.
It's really nice.
That.
Share everything.
And I share everything.
Like.
We almost cannot hide each other.
Because.
We realize.
Yeah.
Something wrong.
We know each other too well.
But it's good.
Like.
I really think that's really.
Really important.
But it took me really long.
To learn that.
Hmm.
友人関係の構築と人生の教訓
Also.
You didn't want to ask.
To go somewhere.
For friends.
Oh.
Yeah.
The friends has to ask you.
I.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
I like.
No.
Not like.
I.
Was.
That's a people pleaser thing.
Because I fought.
If I ask people to hang out with me.
And they didn't wanna hang out with me.
But they just say yes because.
They feel sorry for me.
Yeah.
That's really bad for them.
Because they have to waste their time with me.
Yeah.
This is how I thought.
So.
I've never really asked people.
Hm.
To hang out with me.
Especially after.
I've just moved here.
Yeah.
But then.
私はとても孤独で、友達を持つことができませんでした。
私はそれを変更しました。
私は人々に私と一緒に出会うことを求め始めました。
私は今、本当に素晴らしい友情を作りました。
だから、アンダー、聞いてください。
はい。
私は今も同じです。
私が誰かに会いたいなら、私は彼らにそれを伝えます。
私が彼らと何かをしたいなら、
私は今はもっと明確です。
私は明確に私が今何を思うかを言います。
私は私の意見を言っています。
もちろん、私は他の人に聞くのを聞いています。
多くはありませんが、
私はそれをとっています。
そして、私はそれが欲しいことをもっと知っています。
それは私に欲しいことではありません。
彼らは私の袋の後ろに語ることができます。
私は彼らを友達と見ることができません。
私は私の人生の中で良い人を欲しがっているのを願っています。
良い人を欲しがっています。
私は自分自身を悪い人に切り裂かせることを許しました。
それは学習プロセスでした。
しかし、誰もがこのフェーズを通り抜けます。
それは大丈夫です。
友人や家族にとって、
最近、私はバイスクールで仕事に行きました。
そして、耳を開けたミヤフォンを持っています。
私はそれを聞くことができます。
時々、私は友人に電話します。
私は家にいるまで話すことができますか?
なぜあなたはあなたの妻を電話しないのですか?
私はあなたが忙しいと知っているからです。
そして、私はゆっくり話します。
友人と話します。
彼はそれが大丈夫です。
しかし、私は彼が少し恥ずかしいと感じると感じます。
彼はそれを受け取りません。
友人はとても重要です。
良い友人。
あなたの人生の他の種類の人々は本当に重要です。
彼らはあなたに異なる投票を与えます。
あなたの異なる点を与えます。
サンドラはそれを良くやりました。
私の意見を共有します。
私は私の意見を持っています。
しかし、それは変化することができます。
私はそれが本当だと思う。
あなたの異なる点を与えます。
それは重要です。
私は時々私の昔の写真を見ます。
私はその日の気持ちを覚えています。
私は自分にハグを与えたい。
サンドラ、それは大丈夫です。
私は非常に敏感な人です。
私は非常に苦労しました。
リオはそのような人です。
あなたが非常に敏感であるとき、成長するのは本当に難しいです。
あなたは他の人たちが感じていることを感じます。
私は自分に何を言うかわからない。
強くなれば大丈夫です。
あなたが子どもと話す方法を反映しているようです。
私はリオを本当に理解できます。
しかし、彼の状況は私自身からたくさんの刺激を与えます。
私はそのように感じました。
良いと悪い。
良いことは、私は彼に彼の気持ちを管理する方法を教えてくれました。
私も彼らから学ぶことができます。
私は彼がそのようなことをすることを考えました。
しかし、彼がそれをどう思うか。
それは良いことです。
私は今、若い人から耐性を学んでいます。
彼は自分で何でも作りたいです。
彼は2か月か何かで、
でも私は彼に何でも言うことが大切だと知っています。
私は彼に何でも言いたくなりたい。
私は彼に何でも言いたくなります。
私は彼に何でも言いたくなります。
私は彼に彼の力を与えたい。
彼の自分の行動を彼に与えたい。
彼は自分の駅の鍵を固定するのを知っています。
彼はそれをすべて間違えてしまうので、私はそれを応援し、応援しなければなりません。
はい、それは素晴らしいことです。
人生の振り返りと感謝
あなたはすべてのことを伝えましたか?
私はあまりにも多くのことがありますが、公開されないほうが良いです。
ああ、そうですか。
はい。
はい。
聞いてくれてありがとう。
私たちの若い私たちにアドバイスしてください。
私たちのアカウントで何を思っているか、何を言いたいかを
私たちはそれについても話すことができます。
はい、確かに。
聞いてくれてありがとう。
素晴らしい一日や一晩を過ごしてください。
あなたがどこにいるかを聞いてください。
またすぐに会いましょう。
さようなら。
