00:00
Welcome back, everybody. I'm excited for today's deep dive.
We're gonna be looking at a transcript that one of you lovely listeners sent in.
Yeah, this should be a fun one.
It is. Trust me.
It's a casual conversation between,
I believe their names are Hideki and Mayumi, two Japanese podcast hosts.
Oh, interesting.
And let me tell you, it is packed with juicy tidbits about everything
from dating in Japan to like how Japanese men and women approach business.
I think you're really gonna enjoy it.
Sounds fascinating.
What really struck me was right away the tone.
It's super casual and easygoing, like just friends chatting.
And I think that makes the cultural insights even more genuine, don't you think?
I totally agree with you.
And they talk about some pretty universal themes too,
like the complexities of relationships, you know, male-female relationships,
societal expectations, and just like the quest for happiness,
you know, like finding your purpose.
And like right off the bat, they start talking about this book called Uwatsura Kindness.
Have you heard of it?
Oh, yes. Uwatsura Kindness.
It outlines all these subtle ways that men can be kind to women in Japanese society.
And it's really fascinating because it kind of gets at those nuances of Japanese etiquette
that might be taken for granted in Japan,
but might not even be noticed in other cultures.
You know, things like a Japanese man walking on the street side of the sidewalk
to shield a woman from splashes.
Oh, wow.
Or offering a seat on the train.
These little gestures, you know, are seen as chivalrous and very considerate.
I never even thought about that, the sidewalk thing.
Right.
That's so interesting.
It really makes you think about all the things we take for granted in our own culture, you know.
Yeah.
But it's not just about being polite.
Yeah.
Like they get into dating expectations.
Absolutely.
They even discuss how cultural norms can shape how a woman acts on a first date,
which I thought was really interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mayumi, the female host, she suggests that women should never go on a date hungry.
Oh, interesting.
OK.
Her reasoning is that being hungry can, you know, lead to irritability
and that could obviously could affect the date, you know,
make it a less pleasant experience for both of them.
OK.
That's kind of brilliant and a little surprising, too.
Right.
And Hideki, the male host, he's kind of surprised by this.
He's like he hadn't really considered that perspective before.
Right.
He finds it more typical for women to prioritize the other person's experience.
Oh, interesting.
So is Mayumi like challenging that?
Is she saying, hey, women have needs, too, and it's OK to think about those?
Yeah.
I think I think that's a great point.
You know, it really gets to the heart of what makes this conversation so insightful.
Mayumi's comment, even if it wasn't intended that way,
really sparks a discussion about like unspoken expectations.
Right.
Especially in the context of dating.
And then also how, you know, Japanese cultural norms can shape behavior.
Yeah.
Because in many ways, Japanese society really values harmony
and not being a burden to others.
So in a way, Mayumi's tip, you know, about eating beforehand.
03:00
Right.
Could be seen as aligning with that value.
Yeah, that makes sense.
By taking care of her own needs,
she's ensuring a more enjoyable, you know, experience for everybody.
It's like she's subtly saying that self-care is a form of consideration.
Exactly.
It's pretty different from, you know, what we see sometimes,
the suffer in silence kind of mentality.
Right.
They also get into the differences between how men and women approach business
and leadership roles.
What do you think about that?
Oh, yeah, that was a really interesting part of the conversation.
Mayumi, she observes that women,
they often start businesses, you know, to help others
or to solve a problem that they've experienced personally.
Which makes sense.
You know, women are often more directly affected by societal issues.
Yeah.
So it's natural they'd want to address those.
But I mean, is she saying men don't care about that,
about making a difference?
No, not necessarily.
She acknowledges that, you know,
historically men have been more focused on financial success
and she attributes that to kind of the historical role of men as providers
and just those societal expectations.
But, you know, she's not blaming men.
She's just pointing out the historical context,
which I thought was important.
Yeah, that's a really good point.
It's not about blame.
It's about understanding the bigger picture, you know.
Yeah.
The societal forces that shape us.
And then what's interesting is that
she doesn't advocate for women to just,
like, try to beat men at their own game.
Exactly.
She suggests a different approach.
What is it?
She believes that women should leverage their unique strengths,
you know, their empathy, their collaborative spirit,
all those things that, you know, are often seen as feminine qualities.
Right.
And then work with men, you know,
not against them, but with them.
Oh, I like that.
To build a better world.
That's a great message.
It's not about competition.
It's about, like, true partnership.
Yes.
And recognizing that we need both perspectives
to create real change, you know.
And what's really nice is that, you know,
Hideki, he agrees with her.
He recognizes that both men and women
bring valuable skills to the table
and that collaboration is key.
Yeah.
Which I think is a really positive takeaway.
Absolutely.
And it's refreshing, I think, to hear this perspective.
Yeah.
Especially in a world
where, you know, genders are so often
kind of pitted against each other.
And I think it shines a light on how
how women's roles are evolving in Japan,
especially in the business world.
You know, there's this whole movement of
female entrepreneurs who are really, you know,
challenging the old norms and creating their own paths,
which is...
Yeah, it's like they're saying,
we don't have to fit into this box.
We can create our own definition of success.
Exactly, exactly.
And Mayumi's point about, you know, collaborating,
I think that's key.
You know, it's not about excluding men
or dominating the system.
You know, it's about working together,
recognizing the value of all the different approaches.
06:01
Yeah.
And creating something new.
This makes me think about ikigai.
Oh, yes.
Which is, you know, it's such a strong concept
in Japanese culture.
It's about finding your purpose,
that sweet spot where your passions and skills
and, like, what the world needs all intersect.
Right, right.
And I think Mayumi's vision really aligns with that,
with ikigai.
It's about, you know, finding fulfillment
through your work,
through doing something meaningful
that also benefits others.
So it's like, it's a win-win, right?
You get to pursue your passion,
make a positive impact
and potentially, like,
achieve financial success in the process.
Exactly, exactly.
And it actually,
this kind of ties back to their earlier discussion
about communication styles.
Because, you know, they talk about
or they actually embody
the differences in their own communication styles
with Mayumi being more energetic and expressive
and Hideki being more calm and analytical.
Yeah, I noticed that, too,
and I kind of joke about it a little bit.
Yeah, which adds a layer of humor,
but it also reinforces, like,
those societal expectations.
Right, exactly.
It's like they're playing with those stereotypes
a little bit.
Yeah.
But by doing that,
they're also creating space
to talk about, you know,
moving beyond those limitations.
Yeah, it's a fine line to walk, right?
Yeah.
Recognizing these broad patterns.
Yeah.
But also celebrating the diversity
within each gender.
Exactly.
And that's what makes their podcast so interesting.
You know, they don't shy away from these tough topics.
Yeah, yeah.
But they do it in a way that's accessible
and even humorous.
Right.
It's like they're inviting you, the listener,
to kind of go on this journey with them.
Yes, yes.
And they even touch on some pretty deep topics,
you know, like happiness and fulfillment.
You know, they don't shy away from the big questions.
Right.
Even in this casual setting.
Remember when they were talking about
how our brains are actually wired
to feel full 15 minutes after we start eating?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And Hideki, he actually,
he eats several small meals
throughout the day because of that.
Yes.
And Mayumi even teases him about it.
Oh, yeah. She's like, oh, you're like a woman.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
And, you know, I think that little exchange actually,
you know, it speaks volumes about their dynamic.
Right, yeah.
It's playful.
Yeah.
But it also shows like an awareness
of those gender stereotypes.
That's right.
You know, around eating habits.
And it shows their comfort level, too, with each other.
Oh, absolutely.
They're not afraid to, you know, challenge those norms.
Yeah.
And just kind of have fun with it.
Exactly, exactly.
And, you know, it's interesting to note
that Hideki's approach to eating,
it actually aligns with traditional Japanese cuisine.
Oh, that's true.
You know, which emphasizes smaller portions,
a variety of dishes.
It's a more mindful way of eating, I think.
09:00
Exactly, focusing on like savoring each bite,
really appreciating the flavors.
And it goes back to that idea of balance and harmony.
Yes.
That we see in so many aspects of Japanese culture.
Exactly.
It's amazing, really.
It is.
Like how much we can learn
from this, you know, seemingly simple conversation.
Yeah.
Like, you know, you peel back the layers
and there's all these insights about, you know,
cultural values, gender dynamics,
even the science of like our own bodies.
It's like peeling an onion.
Every layer, there's something new.
Exactly, exactly.
And I think that's what makes these deep diets
so rewarding.
They are.
It's like they're saying,
hey, let's just have a fun chat about life and love
and like the pursuit of happiness.
Yeah.
But oh, by the way,
here are some cultural and psychological nuggets
that might help you along the way.
Exactly, exactly.
And it's so interesting, you know,
how they weave all these deeper insights
into this like casual conversation.
Yeah.
They're talking about things like, you know,
whether you should go on a date hungry or not.
Right.
I'm sure we've all thought about that.
That's a relatable question.
Right.
And then, you know,
Miyumi was saying how she always eats something
before a date.
Yeah.
So she doesn't get like irritable.
Right, right.
To avoid hanger, basically.
Yeah.
Which made me think about like all the different,
you know, kind of unspoken rules
that exist in different cultures about dating.
Mm-hmm.
So have you ever, you know,
been in a situation where you've felt like,
oh, the rules are totally different here?
Oh, yeah, totally.
Especially when traveling.
Yeah.
It's always a little bit of a culture shock
to realize that, you know,
what's considered polite or appropriate in one place.
Yeah.
Might be totally different somewhere else.
Exactly, exactly.
And those differences, you know,
they go beyond just like, you know, etiquette too.
Right.
Remember how Hideki and Miyumi were talking about
how, you know, cultural influences shape
how we approach business and leadership.
Yeah, yeah.
Miyumi pointed out that, you know,
a lot of women start businesses
because they want to help people.
Mm-hmm.
Whereas traditionally, men have been more focused on,
you know, the financial bottom line.
Yeah, yeah.
And I thought her suggestion
that women should work with men
to build a better world,
that was really powerful.
It is.
It's a really, I think, inspiring idea.
Yeah.
And it's not about, you know,
one gender being better than the other.
It's about recognizing that we need,
we need all these different perspectives.
Yeah.
If we're gonna, you know, create real change.
Exactly.
So I guess the question is,
what does all this mean for you, our listener?
Well, I think, you know,
it reminds us that even the most ordinary conversations,
like the one we've just been bisecting,
can be really insightful.
Yeah.
If you pay attention to the little cues,
the unspoken assumptions,
you know, the cultural context,
it can help us understand ourselves
and the world around us so much better.
It's like, you know, they've given us this key
to unlock, like, a whole new layer of understanding,
not just about Japanese culture,
but also about, you know, gender dynamics
12:01
and even our own, like, personal experiences.
Exactly.
And I think it encourages us to be,
you know, more mindful, more curious, more open.
Yeah, yeah.
So as you go about your day today,
I want you to think about how, you know,
cultural norms and gender expectations
might be affecting you.
How you approach dating, business, communication.
Right.
Even, like, the way you eat.
Exactly.
You know, it's a journey,
and I think this deep dive has given us all
some great food for thought.
Absolutely.
Well, that's all the time we have for today.
Thanks for listening, everyone.
We'll see you next time for another deep dive.
