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Chapter 5. Advice from a Caterpillar
The caterpillar and Alice looked at each other forsome time in silence, at last the caterpillar tookthe hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her ina languid, sleepy voice.
Who are you? said the caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for aconversation.
Alice replied, rather shyly, I, I hardly know,sir, just at present, at least I know who I waswhen I got up this morning, but I think I musthave been changed several times since then.
What do you mean by that? said the caterpillarsternly. Explain yourself.
I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, sir, saidAlice, because I'm not myself, you see.
I don't see, said the caterpillar.
I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly, Alicereplied very politely, for I can't understand itmyself to begin with, and being so many differentsizes in a day is very confusing.
It isn't, said the caterpillar.
Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet, saidAlice, but when you have to turn into a chrysalis,you will someday, you know, and then after thatinto a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it alittle queer, won't you?
Not a bit, said the caterpillar.
Well, perhaps your feelings may be different, saidAlice, all I know is, it would feel very queer tome.
You, said the caterpillar contemptuously. Who areyou?
Which brought them back again to the beginning ofthe conversation. Alice felt a little irritated atthe caterpillars making such very short remarks,and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, Ithink, you ought to tell me who you are, first.
Why? said the caterpillar.
Here was another puzzling question, and as Alicecould not think of any good reason, and as thecaterpillar seemed to be in a very unpleasantstate of mind, she turned away.
Come back! the caterpillar called after her. I'vesomething important to say.
This sounded promising, certainly, Alice turnedand came back again.
Keep your temper, said the caterpillar.
Is that all? said Alice, swallowing down her angeras well as she could.
No, said the caterpillar. Alice thought she mightas well wait, as she had nothing else to do, andperhaps after all it might tell her somethingworth hearing.
For some minutes it puffed away without speaking,but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookahout of its mouth again, and said, So you think you're changed, do you?
I'm afraid I am, sir, said Alice, I can't rememberthings as I used, and I don't keep the same sighsfor ten minutes together.
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Can't remember what things? said the caterpillar.
Well, I've tried to say how doth the little busybee, but it all came different, Alice replied in avery melancholy voice.
Repeat, you are old, Father William, said thecaterpillar.
Alice folded her hands and began.
You are old, Father William, the young man said.
And your hair has become very white.
And yet you incessantly stand on your head.
Do you think, at your age, it is right?
In my youth, Father William replied to his son.
I feared it might injure the brain.
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none.
Why, I do it again and again.
You are old, said the youth, as I mentionedbefore.
And have grown most uncommonly fat.
Yet you turn to back somersault in at the door.
Pray, what is the reason of that?
In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his greylocks.
I kept all my limbs very supple.
By the use of this ointment, one shilling the box.
Allow me to sell you a couple?
You are old, said the youth, and your jaws are tooweak.
For anything tougher than suet.
Yet you finish the goose with the bones and thebeak.
Pray, how did you manage to do it?
In my youth, said his father, I took to the law.
And argued each case with my wife.
And the muscular strength, which it gave to myjaw.
Has lasted the rest of my life.
You are old, said the youth, one would hardlysuppose.
That your eye was as steady as ever.
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose.
What made you so awfully clever?
I have answered three questions, and that isenough.
Said his father, don't give yourself airs.
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs.
That is not said right, said the caterpillar.
Not quite right, I'm afraid, said Alice, timidly.
Some of the words have got altered.
It is wrong from beginning to end, said the caterpillar decidedly,
and there was silence for some minutes.
The caterpillar was the first to speak.
What size do you want to be? It asked.
Oh, I'm not particular as to size, Alice hastilyreplied,
only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.
I don't know, said the caterpillar.
Alice said nothing, she had never been so muchcontradicted in her life before,
and she felt that she was losing her temper.
Are you content now? said the caterpillar.
Well, I should like to be a little larger, sir, ifyou wouldn't mind, said Alice,
three inches is such a wretched height to be.
It is a very good height indeed, said the caterpillar angrily,
rearing itself upright as it spoke, it was exactlythree inches high.
But I'm not used to it, pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone.
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And she thought of herself,
I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easilyoffended.
You'll get used to it in time, said the caterpillar,
and it put the hookah into its mouth and begansmoking again.
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose tospeak again.
In a minute or two the caterpillar took the hookahout of its mouth
and yawned once or twice, and shook itself.
Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawledaway in the grass,
merely remarking as it went,
One side will make you grow taller,
and the other side will make you grow shorter.
One side of what? the other side of what? thoughtAlice to herself.
Of the mushroom, said the caterpillar,
just as if she had asked it aloud,
and in another moment it was out of sight.
Alice remained looking thoughtfully at themushroom for a minute,
trying to make out which were the two sides of it,
and as it was perfectly round,
she found this a very difficult question.
However, at last she stretched her arms rounded asfar as they would go,
and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.
And now which is which? she said to herself,
and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to trythe effect,
the next moment she felt the violent blowunderneath her chin,
it had struck her foot.
She was a good deal frightened by this very suddenchange,
but she felt that there was no time to be lost,
as she was shrinking rapidly,
so she set to work at once to eat some of theother bit.
Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot,
that there was hardly room to open her mouth,
but she did it at last,
and managed to swallow a morsel of the left-handbit.
Come my head's free at last, said Alice in a toneof delight,
which changed into alarm in another moment,
when she found that her shoulders were nowhere tobe found,
all she could see, when she looked down,
was an immense length of neck,
which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea ofgreen leaves
that lay far below her.
What can all that green stuff be? said Alice.
And where have my shoulders got to?
And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can't see you?
She was moving them about as she spoke,
but no result seemed to follow,
except a little shaking among the distant greenleaves.
As there seemed to be no chance
of getting her hands up to her head,
she tried to get her head down to them,
and was delighted to find that her neck
would bend about easily in any direction,
like a serpent.
She had just succeeded in curving it down
into a graceful zigzag,
and was going to dive in among the leaves,
which she found to be nothing
but the tops of the trees under
which she had been wandering,
when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry,
a large pigeon had flown into her face,
and was beating her violently with its wings.
Serpent! screamed the pigeon.
I'm not a serpent, said Alice indignantly.
Let me alone.
Serpent, I say again! repeated the pigeon,
but in a more subdued tone,
and added with a kind of sob,
I've tried every way,
and nothing seems to suit them.
I haven't the least idea
what you're talking about, said Alice.
I've tried the roots of trees,
and I've tried banks,
and I've tried hedges,
the pigeon went on,
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without attending to her,
but those serpents!
There's no pleasing them.
Alice was more and more puzzled,
but she thought there was no use
in saying anything more
till the pigeon had finished.
As if it wasn't trouble enough
hatching the eggs,
said the pigeon,
but I must be on the lookout
for serpents night and day.
Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep
these three weeks.
I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,
said Alice,
who was beginning to see its meaning.
And just as I'd taken
the highest tree in the wood,
continued the pigeon,
raising its voice to a shriek,
and just as I was thinking
I should be free of them at last,
they must needs come
wriggling down from the sky.
Uck, serpent!
But I'm not a serpent,
I tell you, said Alice.
I'm a, I'm a.
Well. What are you?
said the pigeon.
I can see you're trying to invent something.
I am a little girl, said Alice,
rather doubtfully,
as she remembered the number of changes
she had gone through that day.
A likely story indeed,
said the pigeon in a tone
of the deepest contempt.
I've seen a good many little girls
in my time,
but never one with such a neck as that.
No, no. You're a serpent,
and there's no use denying it.
I suppose you'll be telling me next
that you never tasted an egg.
I have tasted eggs, certainly, said Alice,
who was a very truthful child,
but little girls eat eggs
quite as much as serpents do, you know.
I don't believe it, said the pigeon,
but if they do,
why then they're a kind of serpent,
that's all I can say.
This was such a new idea to Alice,
that she was quite silent
for a minute or two,
which gave the pigeon
the opportunity of adding,
You're looking for eggs,
I know that well enough,
and what does it matter to me
whether you're a little girl
or a serpent?
It matters a good deal to me,
said Alice hastily,
but I'm not looking for eggs,
as it happens,
and if I was,
I shouldn't want yours,
I don't like them raw.
Well, be off, then,
said the pigeon in a sulky tone
as it settled down again
into its nest.
Alice crouched down
among the trees
as well as she could,
for her neck kept getting
entangled among the branches,
and every now and then
she had to stop and untwist it.
After a while
she remembered that
she still held the pieces
of mushroom in her hands,
and she set to work
very carefully,
nibbling first at one
and then at the other,
and growing sometimes taller
and sometimes shorter,
until she had succeeded
in bringing herself down
to her usual height.
It was so long
since she had been
anything near the right size,
that it felt quite strange
at the first,
but she got used to it
in a few minutes,
and began talking to herself,
as usual.
Come, there's half
my plan done now.
How puzzling
all these changes are!
I'm never sure
what I'm going to be,
from one minute to another.
However,
I've got back to my right size,
the next thing is,
to get into that beautiful garden,
how is that to be done,
I wonder.
As she said this,
she came suddenly
upon an open place,
with a little house
in it about four feet high.
Whoever lives there,
thought Alice,
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it'll never do to come upon
them this size,
why,I should frighten them
out of their wits.
So she began nibbling
at the right-hand bit again,
and did not venture
to go near the house
till she had brought herself
down to nine inches high.
Chapter 6
Pig and Pepper
For a minute or two
she stood looking at the house,
and wondering what to do next,
when suddenly a footman in livery
came running out of the wood,
she considered him to be a footman
because he was in livery,
otherwise,
judging by his face only,
she would have called him a fish,
and rapped loudly at the door
with his knuckles.
It was opened by
another footman in livery,
with a round face,
and large eyes like a frog,
and both footmen,
Alice noticed,
had powdered hair
that curled all over their heads.
She felt very curious
to know what it was all about,
and crept a little way
out of the wood to listen.
The fish footman began by producing
from under his arm a great letter,
nearly as large as himself,
and this he handed over to the other,
saying,
in a solemn tone,
for the Duchess.
An invitation from the Queen
to play croquet.
The frog footman repeated,
in the same solemn tone,
only changing the order
of the words a little,
from the Queen.
An invitation for the Duchess
to play croquet.
Then they both bowed low,
and their curls
got entangled together.
Alice laughed so much at this,
that she had to run back
into the wood for fear
of their hearing her,
and when she next peeped out
the fish footman was gone,
and the other was sitting
on the ground near the door,
staring stupidly up into the sky.
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