00:00
Okay, welcome back to another episode of Kamen's English Room Podcast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alright.
Okay.
Alright, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're back.
So I want to continue the conversation on the shitto.
Yes, shitto.
Okay, gotcha.
Yeah, yeah.
So you, so far, don't feel much of shitto when someone you love is being flirted or
flirting with another male.
I think so.
What about when you're, okay, what if you're dating somebody and you saw her flirting with
another guy, okay?
And then like the next day, or like a week after, she comes up to you and like, "Oh,
hey, Yamachan, you know the date we had on next Saturday?
I actually have to cancel that because I want to go drink with this guy."
What?
How would you feel?
How would you feel?
I'll be like this.
Like, "What are you talking about?"
Okay, that means she, like, she wants to spend time with him more than she wants to me.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
And I will be sad because I love her and I want to spend time with her.
So I would be sad.
But you know, there's nothing that I can stop her, like, force her not to go to the free
wide world.
So okay, then I think I will let her go.
But I like, why then, why she like keep this relationship then?
Do you not want to keep her with you?
If you still love her, don't you want to be with her still?
Yeah, I do.
But if she feels that someone is bigger than me, then I don't think I keep her.
Then that's something that I don't want to.
I don't want to force her, like, being with me, even though she doesn't like me.
So I think I would say, okay, then you can go.
But if you don't, like, if you feel he's like bigger inside you, then, well, let's finish
03:07
this.
You're very selfless.
Like, I feel like selfless is opposite of selfish.
Like, you're very selfish, I feel like.
Because I think the feeling of shitto is when in that circumstance, you feel like you don't
want to lose her.
But like, you can't do anything about it.
That feeling right there is I think, kind of like shitto, kind of like.
The fact that your girlfriend is facing towards another male, but you can't do anything about
it, but you want her, is the feeling of shitto, right?
Yeah, but it's not something that selfish.
Because it's for me.
Like I don't, it's me who don't want her, like won't keep her with me in that situation.
That's my ego, right?
Right, right.
It's your merit to not be with her.
Because to not be with someone who she doesn't love you back.
Right.
Right?
That's for me.
Like, then let's finish this.
And I think I'm going to try find someone new.
That's more healthy to me.
So I think I'm selfish enough to.
Right, I believe that.
I think that's meritocracy.
Got it, got it, got it.
So you don't feel any shitto then?
You're...
Yeah, but I do like have struggled a little bit, I think.
You know, I still love her, but okay.
It's not something that shitto, but it's just like I feel sad.
Oh, she doesn't love me.
Oh, I'm sad.
But let her go, okay.
Right, right, right.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
So just to wrap up the topic on shitto.
Let's go outside of romance.
I'm sure we agree on this, but like if someone plays better piano than Yama-chan, if someone
speaks better English than I do, if someone does a better job at social media than I do,
if someone has a better voice than you do.
Like I don't feel shitto at all because that person has their own problems and their own
life.
I feel like you're only looking at a part, just a partial, just a fragment of their life.
06:00
And I feel like that person has every...
The grass feels greener.
Yeah.
What was the expression I forgot?
Like your neighbor's grass feels greener.
I forgot what it was called.
Grass greener.
Right.
Right.
The grass next to you is blue.
Kind of like that, right?
What are you looking for?
Yeah.
And things like that.
Like I feel like...
The grass grows greener.
Grass grows greener.
Okay.
The grass grows greener.
So like I feel like you don't, you can't, there's no way you can comprehend 100% of
the other person's life.
Like you and me, I don't know 100% of your life.
So I don't know what it feels like to be you.
So like you've got your own problems.
I got mine.
And I feel like there's, you can't really like, you don't know.
So there's no way you can compare yourself to that person.
So like even if you, even if that one aspect, one single part of his life, the vocal, right?
The vocal skills a little bit higher than you.
You don't know what he has.
And like it's his life.
So he's got his own problems and he's driving his own life and I'm driving my own.
And I don't know, there's no way you, you can't really adapt that life to that person.
Like he's so...
Right.
You'll never be happy.
I feel like if you, like you...
There's no, there's no way that you being in other person's life would make you happier
because it's got your, you have your own decision making rules and the other person's life has
never seen that rule.
So there you go.
Outside of romance, that's how I feel about Shido.
So I've never felt Shido outside of romance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I want to go, do you agree or do you have to agree?
I do agree.
I do agree with you.
But I do feel like, like, Ina.
Admiration and motivation.
Yeah.
Admiration.
It's not Shido, but I feel that so many times.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
Got it.
Got it.
Got it.
Yeah.
Um, but it's not a negative feeling, right?
Not at all.
Not at all.
More of a positive feeling rather.
Yeah.
It's a motivator for you, I guess.
So, um, well, that's a good topic.
Yeah, that's a good topic.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sorry.
I want to go back to your romance kind of story.
Okay.
Again.
Just just a minute or two on that.
Yeah.
If you.
So if you have you like, I feel like your selflessness is, is something of a value to
everyone who's listening.
Like, I feel like there's something, something, something, something to take home.
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I feel like that I still haven't articulated enough.
Okay.
Um, if you love somebody.
Yeah.
Right.
If you love somebody.
Do you don't you want her in your life?
Um.
Because last time you answered it, like, if she doesn't love me back, I don't need her.
But like.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let me answer that question.
Okay.
I do.
Okay.
If I love her, then I really want her to be with me and spend every day with her.
Yeah.
And spend my life with her.
That's my dream.
But that's my dream.
Okay.
It's not hard dream.
Then I can offer her.
I can I can propose like her.
Mm hmm.
You know, it's not something that I need to force her to be with me.
Mm hmm.
Right.
I understand.
Yeah.
I don't understand.
Yeah.
But like, like, inside your feelings.
Mm hmm.
Don't you want her badly?
Oh, then no.
Like, like, I do want her badly.
Uh huh.
But.
Yeah.
I want her to be happy.
Like like.
Right.
If if it if spending time with me makes her unhappy and makes her life miserable, be miserable
and ruined, then I don't want to do that.
Right.
So that's bigger.
Uh huh.
To me.
Just a one point English here.
Okay.
Badly.
I said badly at the end.
I want her badly.
Badly means "sugoku".
Yeah.
So that's one point in your story.
Oh, yeah.
Badly.
I want her badly.
Uh huh.
Sugoku hoshii.
Badly.
Bad.
Nande bad nan daro ne?
Tashikane.
Sugoku hoshii.
So do you.
So when you say when you want to chocolate, you can say.
I want chocolate badly.
Okay.
So bad.
So bad.
Um.
But like, do you.
I understand that.
You're you won't be able to be happy if she's not happy.
Right.
That's what you're saying.
Right.
Right.
And if she doesn't want you, she's not going to be happy.
Meaning you're not going to be happy.
Yeah.
Which means it's not somebody who you want.
But like, don't you wish don't you wish her to want you?
I do wish.
Okay.
So what I want to try to do is be a better man.
Okay.
So that maybe she can feel good spending time with me.
Okay.
That's all I can do.
Ah, got it.
So maybe I will be sad if she doesn't like me.
I will be I will cry maybe shout out loud.
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Make a little sad love song.
Lonely.
But that's not a problem of her.
It's my mother.
So.
So I do feel sad.
I would have so bad.
But I cannot do anything to her.
Right.
Right.
So.
So.
Yeah.
Okay.
I understand.
I guess that's I am.
Do you agree with the statement?
If someone rejects you.
Okay.
Right.
Like you.
The way I look at it is it's on them.
Like it's there.
I'm not gonna say fault, but like it's there.
It's it's on them.
Yeah.
If you if you go for somebody like you.
Okay, let's go on a date.
And she said no.
Okay.
I feel like the way I don't I don't.
Okay.
This is not how I feel.
I don't feel like it's my fault.
Right.
I don't feel like oh it was that I didn't have a good face.
I didn't have a good good good looks.
I didn't have the the status the money whatever right.
It was it's on her.
Yeah.
It wasn't her mentality to go out.
It's it's her.
It's the other person.
It's she was not in a part of her life.
Yeah.
To to do what I wanted to do.
So it's on that.
This is all this statement.
Like if you had right have headline read it.
I feel like this statement and what you said is completely the opposite.
But like deep down I feel like it's the same thing.
Yeah I feel like it's the same thing.
Right right right.
It's her fault.
Right.
That she couldn't judge you as a great guy.
Actually you are.
So that's her fault and yeah right.
And it's not you who didn't you know.
The reason why I brought that up is because like you said that the only thing I can do
is to improve myself so that you have a higher chance of that girl to look to love you back
right.
And what I said was like it's her fault that she didn't love me back.
It's on her.
It's her.
OK OK.
It's her thing that yeah it's the reason is it is inside her.
The reason why she said no.
OK.
Like yeah it's kind of the headliner.
It feels kind of the opposite but like deep down I feel like it's the same thing.
Yeah it's the same thing that it's always not like it's always me who through let's
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say it's always her that that.
OK it's complicated.
But it's always her food.
I mean it's always impossible to control her.
Right right right.
Like make her like likes me.
Right right.
It's like it's like me.
It's impossible.
Right.
All I can do is about me.
Right.
You're right.
And all she can do is about she.
Right.
Yeah that's the same thing.
Right.
It's an independency and meritocracy.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Yeah that OK.
I'm really sukkiri shita.
OK.
Wow.
It was a big topic.
Yeah it was it was.
Wow.
Didn't think it would turn out to be like this but a big episode right.
Alright, thanks for listening guys.
- Thank you.